My husband died about 3 months ago and for some reason I have been angry. At what? At everything.He had cancer he did not choose to die. It is not his fault he left. So I don't know why I am so angry.
2007-06-28 02:01:02 · 16 answers · asked by redwidow 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
My partner passed 2 years ago from cancer stemming from a simple mass that spread to her lungs.
I was angry because she knew the mass was there for a while, and did nothing about it until it was too late.
The doctor said there was less than one percent chance of cancer until they did the biopsy.
6 months later she was gone.
I was angry because I selfishly thought that if she did something sooner she would still be here.
I was angry that it was the lungs because she never smoked.
I was angry that she put her job first, ( when all she was doing was taking care of her family), and wouldnt just go to the doctor.
The book " On death and dying" helped so much.
Get support, it is out there.
I sympathize, good luck
I was lucky enough to find someone who gets it, and lets me cry, and allows me to be angry, and looks at pictures and letters with me.
Be angry until you are not, it's okay :)
2007-06-28 02:11:49 · answer #1 · answered by charlie B 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. Yes anger is part of the grieving process, and you do have a lot of reasons to be angry- that he was taken so soon from you, that he'll never see his children or grandchildren grow up, that you'll never grow old together.
Everyone grieves in his or her own way and some grieve longer than others.
Your minister, rabbi, priest, imam should have grief cousnelling names he/she can provide you or perhaps he/she does grief counselling. If not talk to the funeral home that took care of your husband's arrangements, they often have counsellors avaialble as well as other post care grief services.
Your cancer society should also have family survivor groups for widows, talk to them too.
Don't hold your emotions in, don't let people tell you you have to get on with life now.
Seek help if you feel you need it to ease your grief, no shame in that.
God bless you and your's .
2007-06-28 09:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by Lizzy-tish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
anger is a normal part of the grieving process.
eventhough it's not your husband's fault-you feel angry for him leaving you alone and sad, angry for the added responsibility you now have that the two of you once shared, anger for the pain and sadness brought to the rest of your family.
this death is still very new in your family and you have every right to feel the way you do-don't beat yourself up over it.
try talking to a counselor or your pastor at church (if you attend). these people are wonderful at helping ease the pain and supporting you through the grieving process (this includes the anger phase)
i'm very sorry for your loss and wish you well
2007-06-28 09:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by prncessang228 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Yes, Yes it is totally normal. The weird thing I have noticed is that my anger isn't aimed at any one person...it is more that I am angry that I can't control or fix the situation...my hands are tied.
My best friend passed away on 2-23-07. I still find myself just "getting mad" when I start to think about it. I think, I could have done this or said this...I beat myself up for things I had no control over.
I am finding with time the pain and anger eases.
2007-06-28 09:56:11 · answer #4 · answered by Cristi Brewer-Allen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's very normal, I think there are 6 or 7 steps in the grieving process and starts out with shock-disbelief, intense pain and heartache, anger at someone, maybe God, and anyway you finally come to the last step in the process--Acceptance. Sorry for ur husband's death--mine had a stroke 2 yrs. ago and changed my life and I get angry over that sometimes.
2007-06-28 09:14:56 · answer #5 · answered by luminous 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm very sorry about your loss. Of course, it's perfectly normal to be angry. When someone dies your emotions can be all over the place, and you can get a lot of mood swings for reasons you can't explain. Don't worry about this, the anger will stop at sometime. I suggest you talk to a counselor who can help you get over this. Good luck.
2007-06-28 09:06:41 · answer #6 · answered by Corrida 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sorry to hear, when my grandfather died, my grandmum went through the same thing as you are expressing now, she was so hate-full but always reminded us that life is too short, I think you're just mad because he got taken away from you when you werent ready for it, and your emotions are all in a twist so the only thing you can feel right now is anger, but dont worry it will past, I hope this helps you and once again Sorry for your lost
2007-06-28 09:05:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is very normal. We get angry at those that have passed on for leaving us. It's just a way that we process our feelings.
I'm not a big fan of grief counceling, those people tend to be the sorft that want to "hold on" to their grief. Maybe get book about the process of grieving. Just so you can understand it a little better.
Remeber, it takes time. It will take about a year for you to feel kind of normal again. You will always have the feeling of loss, but the pain does go away.
Joe
2007-06-28 09:11:41 · answer #8 · answered by Joseph G 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I have lost my Grandpa and my Uncle within 4 months of each other. I know exactly how you feel. My uncle had Lou Gehrig's Disease. Find a way to let your anger out. I scream along with loud rage music to help myself. My husband got a kick boxing dummy for my girls. I hope you are rid of your anger soon. Best Wishes Isobel
2007-06-28 09:13:09 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really normal. I still feel a bit angry about my mother's death in 1982. She was too young and had the worst type of breast cancer you can get. Still, logic doesn't play into it much. I feel like she abandonned me. Where is she when I need her?
2007-06-28 09:11:27 · answer #10 · answered by Zelda Hunter 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋