They were living apart for about three months, and then she moved back in with her husband. She never told him about the affair, he thinks they were just fighting. She believes she can move on and not tell her husband, and be happy. Is this possible?? Should she tell her husband? What is my part of this?
2007-06-28 02:00:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your part is to be her friend and support her decision no matter what.
Secondly, a friend of mine made a good point about coming clean...If your significant other doesn't know that you cheated why tell them? So you can clear your conscience...Great, you feel better, but now you've HURT your significant other. Sure you sleep like a baby at night because you are feeling all good because you don't have to live with the guilt anymore, yet your sig.other lays awake at night crying, mad, confused. It really is selfish if you think about it, you've relieved yourself of the guilt but now your sig.other is suffering with feelings that they other wise wouldn't of had to deal with.
2007-06-28 02:25:40 · answer #1 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is between your friend and her husband. the only thing you can do at this point is be supportive to your friend and her choices whatever they may be for her! Talk with her and find out if she has learned something from all of this and if she really loves her husband enough to make it work from here on out. If she realizes that she would never want to go there again and understands that from that experience she would never reapeat it then let it go! All this will do is hurt the husband and put the pain on him. The husband may have done something you both don't know about when they were separated to? Over their reconciliation period see how things work out for them and if things start bothering your friend be there for her to talk with her about it and keep it between the two of you. I would suggest to your friend that the two of them need to get into some marriage counseling together. There she can deal with all the issues that caused their separation and work on things so that the problems are not repeated. In private she could consult with the counselor about the other man she was with if she needs to. Just be supportive to both of them and the marriage and hope for the best sweetie.
2007-06-28 09:23:07 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they were living apart at the time, things were clearly not right between them anyway, so it's not as bad as it could be.
Still, this is really between the two of them. Never get involved in someone else's marital problems. It will only end up with you getting the brunt of it. Stay well out of it.
I had a friend who was not only cheating on her husband, but was smoking dope, neglecting her two kids, was caught shoplifting, was up to her eyeballs in debt, yet was irresponsible with money, and ended up divorcing her husband. I got out of that friendship , because I could no longer stand to hear the latest drama, or stand to see my well meaning advice go ignored.
People make their own beds and they have to lie in them. Let your friend deal with the consequences of what she has done. It usually comes out in the end.
2007-06-28 09:22:42 · answer #3 · answered by helly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself, if she cheated now and you know about it and allow her to lie to her husband so that she can selfishly get whatever she wants from everyone and say 10 years down the road he catches her in the act.... Would you feel guilty that you could have saved the 10 years of marriage he wasted with her veiled in lies and infidelity? You need to approach your friend and make her tell him. If she doesn't, then you need to break it to him. Give her a time limit as to when she needs to tell him before you do. You have a moral obligation to this. Even if she's your friend. Maybe she's just not as good a person as you had thought, and even your friendship with her needs to end too.
2007-06-28 09:06:59 · answer #4 · answered by Agnostic Front 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You stay out of this, that is between them. Just be there for your friend so she can vent. I would suggest if she wants a fresh clean start she may want to discuss cheating on him. If he finds out from someone other than his wife that would be devastating to him. Is she only back with him because the affair fizzled out? If so do him a favor and tell your friend to leave for good. I am sure he deserves better.
2007-06-28 09:11:13 · answer #5 · answered by Maria 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your part is to stay out of it. Ever heard live and let live? You getting involved any more than being a friend to talk to will do nothing but caused heartache for you.
As for the possibility of it working, that depends on the strength of your friend's relationship.
2007-06-28 09:18:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not your responsibility to do anything in this case. You also were not with him while they were apart so he could of done the same. Let things work out themselves
2007-06-28 09:20:56 · answer #7 · answered by Dakota 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be her decission weather or not to tell her husband. Your part, stay the heck out of it.
2007-06-28 09:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by bootsontheroad 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
she should tell her husband and she should feel real srry bout herself thinkin y did i do this and everything, because shes married u should at least get a divorce first
2007-06-28 09:09:01 · answer #9 · answered by Aiden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no part. Your only decision is if you should continue being friends.
2007-06-28 12:55:09 · answer #10 · answered by diamondbullet66 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋