and i know in my heart there have been others. But' this last one I can't seem to shake and as hard as we try to get it back good its like we take 3 steps forward and 2 back. We argue all the time. How can we, or can we make it back to the way it was? I feel soooo depressed and just lost. I love him but even after his actions it seems the only time he is nice to me is when he wants to be intimate. I NEVER deny him, nor have I ever. Actually, he is very spoiled. I just can't get over the why? Was 5 minutes in a truck with trash (and she was...if she was a good nice girl i would say so) worth throwing away 13 years and destroying 2 innocent lives. And we actually have a GREAT sex life. I could use some advise. The only reson I'm still here is because of my 11 yr. old son. He looked me in the eye the other night crying and said "I just don't think I could go on living without the two of you together. Enough said. Sincerely, djm
2007-06-27 23:25:11 · 9 answers · asked by djm 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course your son wants you to stay together, and kids will use all sorts of emotional blackmail to get you to stay together. He will get over it, even though it will be hard.
This man is making you unhappy. He is the one choosing to sleep around and breaking the marriage vows time and time again. He is showing you and the family the utmost disrespect, and is destroying the family anyway, whether you split up or not. The damage is already done.
Could you honestly stay in a relationship like this for the sake of the children? A relationship which really only has sex going for it, and even that is being shared around? This is an abusive relationship. He might not be hitting you physically, but this is mental abuse, which is just as bad, if not worse. He makes it all ok afterwards with sweet words and good sex, then goes right back to doing it again.
He will never change. You deserve better, and so do your children.
2007-06-28 00:16:40 · answer #1 · answered by helly 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you stayed after the first one , why because of your son , that is a bad excuse, your son is old enough to understand , you husband keeps on with his mistakes, because he knows that you will never leave him, take your stuff and go take your son and start a new life, your husband will never stop as i always say one a cheat always a cheat no matter how sorry they are. if you say that you have a great sex life then there must be something else he wants from other woman it not just the sex and if he cant find it in you within 13 years he never will and he will always just use you . Start a new life. Sorry if it sound harsh but sometimes its needed. Good luck and sit down with your son to explain what is happening
2007-06-27 23:51:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't use your kids as an excuse, they'll be gone soon and, you'll still be stuck with this bum and, he won't change any.
To many couples use this excuse and they're miserable all there lives, it doesn't make sense, the kids, down the line, will probably tell you "you shoulda" so, why don't you?
When he's at work, pack his bags, put them out at the curb. Call the cops, tell them what and why you did it. Have them there when he gets home from work to make sure he don't pull anything, then see an attorney the next morning.
2007-06-28 00:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The whys are because you are you and not a different female that's all it comes down to. Men get tired of the same old sex and it does not matter at all how good YOU think your sex life is. He doesn't think it's good enough he won't tell you that but that's what it comes down to.Yes men will destroy years of marriage for something different in bed they have been doing it sense the beginning of time and it will continue to go on.
2007-06-28 00:00:02 · answer #4 · answered by Teenie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't stay with a liar and a cheat for the sake of the children. They will adjust and they will cope...they are much more resilient than we think. Try some counseling...if he won't go then you have a choice...continue to live this way until he brings home some nice STD or worse, until he gets someone pregnant, or move on with your life...good luck
2007-06-27 23:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by dianehaslegs 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My kids were in a similar situation, I just went ahead took them out of the home "for their sake" I told them in time things would be okay, that I was only doing this for their on good. Yea, it took awhile but through time and alot of talking with them they are ok now. We have joint custody and are living our lives happily seperated! In the end it all turns out for the better!
2007-06-27 23:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by 2shy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband thinks you will never leave him. Leave him! This is not a good example for the kids. Do you want your son to end up like his father? Do you have a daughter? Do you want her to marry a man like him? Seems your husband forgot about the vows...hmmm...Move on.
2007-06-28 00:16:55 · answer #7 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I felt like your son when my parents split up but when I realised that life went on and they were happier apart It made it easier. My saying is a leopard never changes its spots thay just fade a bit occasionally.
2007-06-27 23:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by Melissa S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know how badly this hurts you. I've been in your place. I wish I had answers to make you feel better, but all I know to say is hang in there and take care of YOU.
2007-06-28 00:54:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋