I was recently talking to a friend of mine online (I don't know him in real life, but I met him playing a videogame online) and he was telling me about how he doesn't have any real-life friends and that it's hard for him to make friends because he's so self-conscious about how he looks and all that (he's like your standard case of the videogame geek with acne).
Anyway, he went on to tell me more about how he hasn't really done anything with his life after high school, and he's just going to a community college not knowing what he wants to do in life, still living at home with mom, and all sorts of other depressing things. He spends almost all of his time at home in his room playing this online video game and thinks his life is really dreary and that there's no purpose (though I don't know if he is suicidal or not: I hope not) and that he might just sign his life away to the Army to be a part of something and not feel so lonely all the time.
I'm no therapist: what should I tell him?
2007-06-27 22:24:20 · 12 answers · asked by Marisa 2 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
never - the army will make him more and more depressed. you get shout at the beaten if you dont get it right. also you can get bashed by the other military people, so ask him not to.
tell him to throw away the computer, get proactiv or somethin, go out to get a tan, get a job and buy flash clothes. then he will get a girlfriend. see how easy things can be if you really put your mind to it.
2007-06-27 22:28:53 · answer #1 · answered by Christos 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, I've been in that same boat he's in. I used to have really bad acne, plus I moved from Wyoming to California the summer after fifth grade, so my transition from childhood to adolescence was awkward, to say the least, but in hindsight, everyone goes through awkward phases. I don't think that joining the army is going to solve anything for your friend (I"m glad you care so much about him!), but if I could give any advice to him, I'd say this: don't look for friends or make friends, be a friend to people, and if they're any sort of human being at all, they'll reciprocate. Also, playing video games to avoid being social is really depressing. Maybe he should find a more active hobby in a more social setting. At least go the bowling alley and work on his shot or to the YMCA and play pick-up basketball. Even if he's not a great athlete, he can still find friends who have similar interests as himself. Tell him this too: a ship in harbor is safe, but if it doesn't risk the open waves, its bottom will rust out. Hope this helps!
2007-06-28 01:54:30 · answer #2 · answered by Dan in Real Life 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has the ability to go on-line with games, therefore why not expand a bit more on go on line and inter-act with the yahoo community, that would be a start. There are a lot of needy people out in his own community. Volunteers make a difference if one is simply willing to try. Effort is never failure, he will not know what he is capable of unless he's willing to put forth that effort. The Army is a personal choice, and experience into it will have results into taking step ahead to do something for himself. It would be a beginning for him, and encouragement wouldn't be a bad thing, but an action into the positive side rather than a depressing state he has thus far chosen. Good luck with your friend, thanks for asking.
2007-06-27 22:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by lostrebelchild 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trained in counselling, but I can offer you some advice based on my own life experiences. Sometimes you just have to let your friend make up his own mind and wish him the best of luck. Honestly, though perhaps the Army is a bit of a BIG CHANGE, but maybe he just wants to belong to a community, an organisation or something that is regimented and structured. Some people do thrive in such situations... you'll be surprised.
At the end of the day, let him live his life and say a little prayer for him and his safety.
2007-07-01 19:29:59 · answer #4 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am no therapist either, but i suppose the best thing is for you to suggest that he does go and see one, i don't think that he will pass the psychological exam if he is in the current state you are describing, there are alot of people that come on the net to get away from real life, the problem lyes when the net becomes the reality, perhaps its a form of institutionalisation, i don't know, but perhaps you can suggest to him to seek help as he obviously trusts you to confide to you those sorts of intimate details on how hes feelings, and i hope to hear he gets the help he needs cause we don't want to see an on line gamer left behind :)
2007-06-27 22:38:44 · answer #5 · answered by StRikE3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he shouldnt worry about what people think about him because no matter who you are and what you decide to do with your life, people will ALWAYS criticize.Nothing comes easy and if he really wants to do something with his life he need to believe in himself first. Once confidence is established he can face the world in a different view. He should be proud of who he is regardless of what hes has or has not accomplished, and not be scared to go out and meet people. If he indeed does join the military, suggest the navy or the air force its just my opinion but I think the army is too harcore and marines are brain washed.
2007-06-28 03:05:18 · answer #6 · answered by s_veronica80 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
By the sounds of things he doesn't have any male father figure to look up to. it's a shame.. too many boys out there with only their mums to show them what a man is. My suggestion is to go to church. I know what you're thinking.. another Jesus Freak... but apart from the religious experience- the social life is very active and healthy. he will be greeted at the door with a warm smile, and the people will genuinely want to get to know him. it's a very positive experience
2007-06-28 00:42:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that he is still young and there are so many options for him. College is a good idea, at least his education is progressing. Tell him to follow what he is passionate about and make it a career. I doubt the army is the answer.
2007-06-28 01:53:32 · answer #8 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get to know him bettetr and be his friend because some choices like joining the army are suppose to be be a call and not a simple choise. Otherwise one will regrate in future
2007-06-27 22:33:49 · answer #9 · answered by margaret k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Great lesson of life:
Do not get involved in others lives. Pray for them and give them to God. You could mess up his life bad if you interfere. Concentrate on your life and join the Air Force.
2007-06-27 22:31:16 · answer #10 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋