My wife and I used them a few years ago - they seemed judgemental to me....private couns. are very expensive too, but if it meant we get both get our point across without rwoing with each other...should we do it? How do I convince my wife it would be a good thing?
2007-06-27 21:43:48 · 10 answers · asked by jonoxk 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Counseling isnt for everyone and to use it just to prove a point or prevent a fight is definitely the wrong reason for using it. Also it sounds as if youve already formed an opinion of counseling yourself and it doesnt sound like a good one at that so I would have to say nix the counseling and work this one out yourselves. Good luck
2007-06-27 22:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear jono_2970. A counsellor should never be judgemental. The role of a counsellor is there to encourage you to talk about your problems. There is a saying in the counselling field that a counsellor is 90% listening and 10% talking. How do you get your wife to come with you to a counsellor, Well the proof is in the eating, Firstly you state that "we both got our points across without rowing with each other" and yet you are still together so some how it seemed to work. Secondly, It sounds to me that you were not ready to finish your previous counselling sessions, but I can understand if you did not feel comfortable with your counsellor. To try and convince your wife that "it would be a good thing" is to show her the productiveness of your last sessions with a counsellor and if you find the right one and deal with all the situations you have pent up, you will succed. you have got this far, now, may its time to step a little further. Best of Luck............David
2007-06-28 05:16:49 · answer #2 · answered by David Wilson 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relate is a very good service,my husband and I were on the verge of splitting up after 3 years of marriage , I looked up counselling on the net and found these. We tried them and had a few sessions, 10 in fact. Things did not improve straight off but gradually with a little work each day and improved communication skills, learnt through relate, we have lasted another 4 years and still going strong.
Hope you decide to go for it as it worked for us. Best of luck.
2007-06-28 04:53:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live but there are other places like relate but they are charity funded. You still pay but if you are having financial difficulties then they do offer a sliding scale for payment. Counselling is a good way to get both points across. But you both have to be willing and want it. It can work in one of two ways.... It can help you and your wife sort your problem and make a healthier relationship or it will help you two to split up reasonably and without trying to kill each other
2007-06-28 04:59:43 · answer #4 · answered by Psycho Chicken! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
In my opinion it is best to handle these things bibically. And without details which I see you have a problem with, that would be my first guess as to why she's so head strong. She doesn't want to be dragged into a blaming sesson between you and your counselor. I suggest to you to find "Laugh your way to a better marriage" It is based from the bible, and about $65 for about 4 DVD's. This is a good way to break the ice. Then you don't have to spend all kinds of money for something she won't do anyways. Either she's in, or she is out, and if she's out you better reel her back in!
2007-06-28 04:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by spawanee 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Gawd no.... jesus, ill tell you one thing a private counselor could care LESS about your relationship, what he wants is to keep you in that room and paying him money for as LONG as he can milk you. If you want real help find a friend, a intelligent person online, or just a stand alone psychologist (if there are even anymore still around *standalone means he does things from his home and he dosent charge*
2007-06-28 05:01:13 · answer #6 · answered by neohnecrosis 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
what we can do 4 u?
2007-06-28 04:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by chatursujan 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Just tell her that things are getting rough between you two again. Becasue you love her and took vows, you believe that it is important that you do everything possible to save the marriage.
2007-06-28 04:49:30 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try a therapist as they can help you more
2007-06-28 04:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by ~*tigger*~ ** 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
personally speaking, when somethings broke, i don't get it fixed, i buy a new one!
2007-06-28 04:46:04 · answer #10 · answered by pfc123darkknight 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋