I'm 17 and he assumes a lot of stuff about me and it drives me mad. He assumes that some day I'll get married and have kids of my own.. And when I said I never wanted to, he said "Well, you're not gay, and you don't want to be alone" He has no idea... And because he assumes I'm straight, he's way too overprotective of me and always afraid of me getting a boyfriend. It really bothers me. Why do you think he'd assume this?
2007-06-27 19:02:51 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Without some specific reason to think otherwise, I think most people would automatically assume someone is straight. Even people who are open minded about homosexuality will tend to assume a person is straight just because that is the "normal".
I guess the question that's still hanging is whether you actually are straight or if you are bi or homosexual. If you are bi or gay, you might think about telling your parents just so you aren't keeping a major secret from them.
2007-06-27 19:12:40 · answer #1 · answered by Justin H 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He assumes it for the same reason that most people assume everyone is straight. If you don't appear to be a raging bull dyke or an extremely feminine guy, you're usually grouped as a straight person. It's possible that he's seen you show interest in boys in the past or maybe the thought that you may be gay hadn't even occurred to him.
2007-06-28 02:10:20 · answer #2 · answered by sarahjaniepoo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably because most people are straight and you've obviously given him no reason to believe otherwise. I've even known gay parents who, when generalizing to their daughter, go with the assumption that she'll be straight. When she calls them on it, they explain that of course it doesn't matter to them, but it's a lot easier to just say, for example, "when you have a boyfriend" instead of "when you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend".
If you don't want to come out to him, or if you're not really sure what your orientation is, why don't you just say, "How can you be so sure I'm not gay?" That might open the doors to some communication...
2007-06-28 02:08:12 · answer #3 · answered by PJ 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Plain and simple, you haven't told anyone yet. You scared to face him. You are not sure how he will re-act so you choose not to tell him and make him out to be the fool. Why are you playing this game with him? You are 17 years old for pity sake, time for you to start acting like the adult you think you are and quit playing with others that care about you and your well being. There is no doubt he loves you, so bite the bullet and tell the truth for a change. Good Luck, MJ
2007-06-28 02:13:29 · answer #4 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because unless a person comes out, everyone who can't tell your gay ASSUMES your straight! My sister says she doesn't want to have kids too and shes straight (Just making a point for that example)
2007-06-28 02:07:26 · answer #5 · answered by Kenny N 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well...he probably assumes you are straight becasue being gay isnt what anyone normally assumes. If you havent told him, then how would he know you are gay? So until you are honest with him and tell him you are gay, you better expect him to be worried about boyfriends....and just because you are gay doesnt mean he isnt going to worry. If anything he will probably worry MORE about you if you are gay!
2007-06-28 02:07:01 · answer #6 · answered by helicopterjen 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
All fathers have this vision in their head from the minute that you were born that his little girl is a princess. He wants you to grow up and be a little lady. Most parents associate being a lesbian with looking or acting like a boy. Times have changed because you can be a little lady without having to change who you are.
2007-06-28 02:10:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Most people assume someone is stragith until they are told otherwise. It may seem odd to you if you aren't straight, but since straights are in the vast majority, most people assume another's sexuality is heterosexual until they have reason to assume otherwise. If you're not interested in men and it bothers you that he thinks that, tell him you're a lesbian. No harm in being honest about who you are.
2007-06-28 02:06:58 · answer #8 · answered by grayhare 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He assumes your straight because 90% of the population is. That is pretty good odds. Also, he doesn't want to deal with the possibility that his daughter might like women. (denial)
2007-06-28 02:16:06 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is only natural. It's what parents do. They think they raise their children, help them threw life, they hand them over. Maybe you should talk to your dad. I know this sounds weird but it would help. Think of a way that would work best. Only you know you dad. My friend (he's a guy), broke done and told his parents he had a major sickness....when they started freaking out he said im just kinding....im just gay. Thats not the way i would go about doing it....bt like i said only YOu know your parents, and can decide how to talk to them.
2007-06-28 02:09:15 · answer #10 · answered by Kristin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋