Me and my husband have been separated for 8 months we still talk but he doesn't seem to want to be bothered with me when I try to make things work out. Yet he still smiles and laughs with me he says he's not seeing anyone, yet he seems he's trying to keep me away and acts as though he likes it likes it like this.Its been 8 months, why do you think he's still trying to stay away from me?Im tired of living alone and taking care of 4 kids on my own.
2007-06-27 18:29:03 · 11 answers · asked by justagirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course he likes it as it is - he's having his cake and eating it too.
You need to decide how long you can remain separated without any effort being made to try to resolve the situation. Its one thing to be separated while a legitimate effort is being made (by both spouses) to try to work through the issues...quite another for things to remain in limbo indefinitely, unless that's something that you're both okay with.
Personally for me...8 months would be long enough. (Without any ongoing effort on his part, at least.) Sounds like you need to establish some reasonable boundaries. How long are you willing to let things drag out like this? What sort of effort do you expect from him? What are the consequences if he doesn't follow through?
Its not at all unreasonable to expect him to be either working through the issues or to split up for good, especially after 8 months had passed! I know one thing for sure - the situation is not going to change unless you make it change. If he's happy with the way things are right now, he's not going to rock the boat unless you make him.
2007-06-27 18:39:59 · answer #1 · answered by sarah314 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Taking care of the 4 kids would be LOTS easier if you were not wasting energy worrying about his *ss. If he wanted to be there, he would. And you REALLY dont want him there if he doesnt want to be anyway. The smiling and stuff, maybe he is trying to be friendly to the mother of his kids. who knows. bottom line. stop worrying about him. You will instantly get less tired. :)
2007-06-28 03:37:59 · answer #2 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh I don't know, peace and solitude and no responsibilities for the kids he has or being a grown up? Why would he ever come back. Get yourself a lawyer and get free of this albatross.
2007-06-28 02:17:11 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you ask "why is he"??? have you first ask yourself "what have you done"???
all human beings tend to see fault at others and not ownself, just like me...
try to recall what has happened before his attitude changes, did something happen, things like that... have you given him any "invisible" pressure without realising it yourself.
if you'r sure that the change has got nothing to do with you then leave him alone and never try to pls. him or let him have his way on you anymore. it's not worth!
hope you can get your problem solved soonnnnnnnn....
2007-06-28 01:50:36 · answer #4 · answered by overseas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him his cake and let him eat it too. You've got 4 kids to worry about, he left, let him come back if he's going to. Let him know that you're open to it and leave it at that. He needs time to think about it.
2007-06-28 01:34:30 · answer #5 · answered by Blue Love Aura 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he smiles at you, he is just entertaining you. I guess he has moved on and so should you. Perhaps he has "seen the light". If it still bothers you, why not ask him why. Good luck.
2007-06-28 01:34:01 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4 kids? He is probably like on vacation and I'd suggest you tell him to help you guys get it back together real soon or you're going to kick him to the curb real soon!!
2007-06-28 01:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by jacquie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WE cannot know for sure because we are not there...he may just need his space and not be ready to come back...why did you 2 separate?
2007-06-28 01:31:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably either enjoys the freedom and less responsibilities or I am guessing there probably is someone else.
2007-06-28 01:32:48 · answer #9 · answered by Lynnae_1969 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You gotta be aggressive with him and ask him directly. He should tell you whats going on and you will know better what is going on.
2007-06-28 01:34:59 · answer #10 · answered by questionman1234 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋