when i was 15, my stepfather molested me.in september its going to be 3 years since it happened. but it still hurts a lot. i cry when i think about it. when i see a movie or hear about a girl that gets raped/molested, i break down completely. its like i just cant "get over it". its really hard. is it normal to be in so much pain still? even though it was three years ago?
2007-06-27 18:04:28 · 12 answers · asked by futureheiress 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
It is very normal. I'm sorry that happened to you.
2007-06-27 18:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Max 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually you will never forget about it. You're going to have to learn to live with it. The reason why it still hurts too much is because you're trying to hide it so much. You need to break loose and face reality. You created a trauma when it happened and you mind freezed that moment. That's why everytime you see a movie or something that reminds you you get hurt, because it's still there. Your mind needs to process that frozen thought and let it go. It will hurt at the beginning but then you will learn to accept it.
Just keep in mind that you are not alone and there are a lot of people like you or in even worst situations. If this does not help, you need to seek professional help or counseling to get it over. Of course this would imply sending your step father to jail. So it is either you or him. You have to choose what's best for you regardless of the consequences. If you don't take care of it now it will affect your sex life in the future.
2007-06-27 18:14:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is normal, its unbelievable how much something like this affects people and its totally valid. I dont know exactly what goes on in your mind but I have gone thru this and its similar and its like the person keeps hurting you over and over again. Just the fact that hes walking around free and unpunished and he commited a crime. You know, why not consider reporting this and empowering yourself that way. tell him off in a letter, go to counseling do whatever. Please also go check out the following website:
www.rainn.org
For me I had to keep going over and over it and re-visiting it with different people until I felt I had done everythign I could, I dont think youve done everything you can yet, the incident. three years isnt that long. Thats why this is illegal. Someone else should not be able to mess with someone and take that much time out of their life and go unpunished
Good luck to you, Im sure if you take all the steps you can you will find a way to move on from it....
2007-06-27 18:22:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's normal because I was molested when I was a little girl and it makes me cry when I hear about it. It is one of the things I hate the most, even more than someone being killed.
It is very common and a lot of women never report it and never completely get over it. It is just such a selfish thing for someone to do to have a few minutes of sick pleasure and ruin a person's life.
2007-06-27 18:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by Holly Berry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is completely normal to feel very sad. It's not something that you "just get over." You've had your trust destroyed and you will probably need counseling to help you learn to cope with your past. If you don't get help you won't heal. In fact, most likely, you'll have worse bad times.
I'm very sorry that you had to go through this experience but there is hope and you can heal. Please call R.A.I.N.N. at 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673). The call is completely confidential and I guarantee that they can help. Or check out their website at http://www.rainn.org/ They are staffed with people who've experienced the same trauma you have and know how to help. They can also give you information about people or organizations in your area you can provide confidential help. The singer, Tori Amos, was one of the founders. They do great work.
I wish for you to have a happy, healthy life.
2007-06-27 18:21:38 · answer #5 · answered by Charlie P 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes, the pain, hurt & memory will always be w/ you. that's if you let it. try getting counseling or talk to someone who may have been through the same ordeal or someone you feel you can trust who will be open and will just listen. one thing to remember is that no matter what happened or what was said, it's not your fault. there are a lot of sick people in this world and thinks they can manipulate and get their way. be strong and be a better person and do not let this affect you and the way you live. in due time it will eventually be a memory you keep in your far subconcience. it will not harp on you as it is doing now. i wish you the best to move on!!
2007-06-27 18:19:52 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Starr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes different people, different ways of dealing with a situtation like this. I suggest you go see a Doctor, because they have ways to help you get over things. Maybe you just need to get it all out of your system, because you are still angry and who wouldn't be, it's ok, as long as you don't hurt anyone or yourself. I'll say a prayer for you, and May God look down and see your hurt and pull you through.
2007-06-27 18:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is normal, if you haven't had therapy or so some close friend to help you. this is one of those times where toughing it out isn't the best way to heal.
there are groups all over the web for women who have been molested. Please check out one of them, or a whole bunch of them. The first one you try may not "fit" but the third or fourth may feel safe and helpful.
Good luck.
2007-06-27 18:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by nickipettis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetheart, you will Nerver get over it as long as you live but if you want to feel better ther is no limit on when you can make the M. F...er pay you might THINK your hurting your mom sisters brothers or others But later on they will except and agree YOU NEED to turn him in to feel better go public it dont matter how old you are or young you will feel relieved ,fresh,you will be helping others that may be future pray and maybe past pray mija, go publicSO what if they say you only want attention, so what? your helping the whole world for real!!!!!!!
2007-06-27 18:20:34 · answer #9 · answered by lilbit- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure that's normal. You should get some therapy or counseling. Tell somebody you have to. Do not hold it in to deal with by yourself. It will drive you nuts! I am very sorry this happened, I feel really bad for you.
2007-06-27 18:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by Daniel K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, if something like that happened to me, I'd never be able to get over it. You need to talk a therapist about this, if you don't already. I'm so sorry to hear about this, if you ever want to talk, message me at koolgirl1347@hotmail.com or jm8313 @yahoo.com.
2007-06-27 18:09:23 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋