To tell or not to tell a friend.....?

Question

Over the wkend at a party, my sister overheard a guy talk about my friend's hubby cheating while traveling for work. So I told her. I have no reason to doubt what my sister said as she named specific places he'd been & she's only met him once. The hubby denied it. Friend's hubby confronted the guy who said it & he spun a new story & lied. All had been drinking & I scolded the hubby via phone)he was not there-they were fighting & he went out). So the next day I called & left msg for them. no call back. I called again, things strained & husband blaming me! I apologized for my behavior & overreaction, but sure of what my sister overheard. Friend asked me to call the hubby to discuss the events. I called & emailed, no return. I feel like I have reached out & don't know why I am the bad guy. On a side note, the husband had hit on me while drinking in front of the wife. We chalked it up to the booze & moved on. Now I wonder if he is lying or not. I sense frndship over.

Yes, I think she is stuck. She doesn't work....Hubby "confronted" guy who said it while wife wasn't home so who really knows. I think he can't face me esp b/c he hit on me in the past. I just had such an ill feeling in my stomach. He did tell his wife he couldn't get why I'd tell her w/o investigating it further if I didn't hear it directly. It's just awkward, our kids are in class & sports together. But I don't feel like I did anything horrible, I didn't start the rumor!! I am trying to deal with the sadness of the friendship. Thanks for your comments....

Let me clarify. My sister overheard the conversation between 2 guys discussing the hubby's escapades. She was on a deck above them. They had no idea she was there. She immediately gave me the details. She has only seen this hubby once. She knew of specific places he'd done this. How else would she know that. I suppose I felt bad for getting involved. I normally wouldn't. But I did & it got out of hand. So that parts over......I just don't get why the hubby won't speak to me & is blaming me 100% for the whole situation.....Believe me I do feel bad, but as I said, I have zero reason to doubt what my sis heard 2 min before she repeated it to me.....

Answer 1

the guy is trying to turn it around on you to take the heat off himself. he cheated, he knows it, everyone knows it. so if he puts the spotlight on you for a while, he thinks it might blow over. i'm assuming that your friendship is over, but it's not your fault.

Answer 2

It sounds like the game telephone. It went through a lot of people before it got to you. From your friend's hubby, to another guy, to your sister and finally to you. I think when it is a "he said, she said" deal then maybe you should have stayed out of it unless you saw something directly.

Your friend has a right to be upset because her relationship is being questioned. The only problem is that she is getting upset at the wrong person. She should be upset with her hubby, not you.

Answer 3

The person who is doing wrong is always the one to get mad and defensive. I don't know why this is, but it happens all the time. I don't think you did anything wrong. I would want someone to tell me. If they didn't and I found out later that they knew, I would be very hurt.

Answer 4

you never should have passed along what basically was party gossip - regardless of who it came from. It was absolutely none of your business.

Yes, you lost friends. Learn from it and keep out of other people's personal lives unless you are DIRECTLY involved.

Answer 5

he cheated and is now denying his wrongdoing to cover his deeds, theres not much u can do about it, just distance yourself from them.

Answer 6

yeah it's sad mate....ur damned if you do n damned if you don't say anything.....a very hideous position to be in.
Good luck

Answer 7

READPEACH_M/ i agree with this totaley on this matter as well to. in my opion?