He says that since he can't drink whats the point of doing anything. He doesn't go out...doesn't talk to his friends...and isolates himself from me and everyone else. His whole social life revolved around drinking and now he doesn't know what to do. This has been going on for 3 months. We've only been married 7 months. He is so depressed...it's getting to me.I don't know what to do. My marriage is so empty.
2007-06-27 16:56:58 · 24 answers · asked by MTNS24 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a normal thing that occurs with people who stop drinking. I could go further into this, but it's not necessary at this point.
What is important, is that you get him to AA, now!!!! Their are people there that will understand what he is going through.
You must also go to Alanon, that will allow you to understand, the process you are involved in. Even if he will not go to AA, you must go to relieve your frustration, and better be able to help him. My best
2007-06-27 17:18:37 · answer #1 · answered by All-One 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like his medication isn't working if he is still depressed. He should go see his doctor to either have the dosage changed or medication changed. There are many types of anti-depression medications out there. But if he was giving the medication to stop drinking (there is one particular anti-depression medication where this is a side effect or alternate use) then he needs to get into a recovery program and/or seek out other interesting activities. He can still hang out with friends without drinking
2007-06-27 17:07:32 · answer #2 · answered by answergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Over the last five years I had begun to have increasingly withdraw into a downward spiral of depression..
But now with the method I can fully focus my energy and thoughts into a decisive line on how to make my life better constantly. And it works like magic! I'm beginning to attract people to me once again and things have just been looking up since then.
Helping you eliminate depression?
2016-05-15 21:45:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, let the doctor know that the meds are not working. It takes several tries for them to get it right sometimes. Second, maybe you could invite some of his friends over. It might perk him up a little to know that everyone still wants to be around him. Third, you have to tell him how you feel. Do something nice for yourself. You can't just let this be about him because you are in this relationship and have feelings too! Good luck to you and your husband.
2007-06-27 17:03:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you do before you got married? Did you date or anything? Try reminding him of that. Also, he needs to find a mentor, a good, older, father-type figure he can look up to and vent to about stuff that'll help him see it in a different way than you can. Also, getting involved in a church would be great for both of you. Things may get a little tougher before they get better...but that's what love's about...sticking it out thru the hard times, that's when you can grow stronger and closer together. Don't let him shut you out, try your best to keep the lines of communication open. He's obviously got some baggage that he needs to deal with if he's depressed. A good marital counselor would be good, too. Also, talk to the doctor again about his condition. Something isn't right, that's for sure!! Good luck!!
2007-06-27 17:03:44 · answer #5 · answered by Blessed 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a really good case for couples counseling.
they have this new medication, i dont know what the name is, but it is made for alcoholics & takes away the pleasurable sensation when someone drinks, and blocks the part of the brain that demands alcohol.
Addiction is not a matter of will power over something, it's a chemical dependency which can only be treated effectively with caring love, education & a support system.
Is he in a 12 step program? that would be a good place to start.
2007-06-27 17:01:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need a therapy session alone and the together. He needs to see a mood disorder specialist. You have been married for 7 months. You must not have known him very well for all of this to happen this fast. If you can't resolve the issues with therapy I will tell you from personal exp get out. It does not get better by itself. and the longer it goes on the harder it is to get out. Your life will be very empty and alone.
2007-06-27 17:06:01 · answer #7 · answered by desertlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go back to the doctor and get his meds changed. He might need to be dialed up so he doesn't feel so bad. Also he needs to find things to do with his friends that doesn't involved drinking. Like going fishing...he doesn't have to drink, or going boating...again yes people to drink but they don't have to.
Also talk to his friends yourself. If they really care about him they'll ask him to do things without taking out the drinks around him. Tell them you're worried about him...
If that fails make new friends that don't like to drink and just like to come over for cook outs and watch sports. Sign up to learn to dance. Out Camping...something...letting him sit all alone like that, stewing in his thoughts isn't good for him. He needs to be busy.
2007-06-27 17:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU DOWN!
Just because he cannot get over drinking does not mean his AND your social life should die. If he can't sit with his friends while they have a drink and he doesn't, it shouldn't hold you back. If you want to go out with your friends, then go!
If you want to do somthing with him, plan activity that he can do with all of his buddies. Plan a poker night and make cards the center of the party, not drinks. When you plan it yourself, you control the outcome. Hopefully things will improve! :)
2007-06-27 17:02:59 · answer #9 · answered by no it all 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who said you had to quit drinking with anti-depression medication? I haven't and its been about 8 years.
2007-06-27 17:03:35 · answer #10 · answered by Karnak 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋