In darken lands, man strives.
Hand to mouth, he survives.
Good and evil war, one is slew.
Into moon beams a soul did flew.
Now stands alone, unknown one thrives.
2007-06-27 16:32:37 · 11 answers · asked by Coop 366 7 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
is english your native language?
or is your convention to use words incorrectly?
I don't mean to be harsh, but any time someone rhymes with poor grammar, I can't help but see it as laziness. part of my education, I suppose, to edit edit edit and be perfect.
your theme, however, I think has promise. there's a story there--take your time and bring it out by starting all over.
2007-06-27 16:43:25 · answer #1 · answered by Kurt H™ FC Steaua Bucureşti 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's good. I like it. It sounds like the Iraq war to me.
2007-06-27 23:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by John D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
love it. short and to the point. keep writing. you need to give it a title though.
2007-06-28 01:05:23 · answer #3 · answered by mimi247t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your poem is very talented, as to say it is in good form. it has depth, meaning, and soul
2007-06-27 23:47:13 · answer #4 · answered by timothy h 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love this poem.
Its deep, and rhymes.
Its also not that long so you want to read it over and over again.
2007-06-27 23:42:10 · answer #5 · answered by Kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
cool
2007-06-28 08:45:18 · answer #6 · answered by Analyst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad keep them comming
2007-06-27 23:47:59 · answer #7 · answered by Grand pa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it! I think it is good.
2007-06-27 23:42:46 · answer #8 · answered by McFly fanatic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
THATS NICE
2007-06-27 23:35:49 · answer #9 · answered by mother love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its alright
2007-06-27 23:40:43 · answer #10 · answered by mayra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋