I've been separated from my husband for almost a year and our divorce is almost final. It's been MONTHS since the kids and I have had any phone, email or otherwise contact from him (he lives in another state). The deadline for his response to the divorce papers served on him in May came and went with no response, so my lawyer filed a default against him, so I think he's basically waived his rights to see the kids unless he takes me to court and sues for partial custody. Is that correct?
2007-06-27 16:24:30 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Well, at 11:10 last night, the phone rings and it's a blocked call. My boyfriend answered and I heard my ex’s voice bark "Put my wife on the phone!" My boyfriend politely replied, "You have the wrong number." My ex started to say loudly, "I KNOW I have the right number”, but my boyfriend hung up. My ex never called back or emailed me to say what he wanted. I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe in the course of the court’s finalizing the case, they contacted his employer regarding child support and he just found out how much he owes me, maybe?? (He hasn’t paid a penny in child support the entire time we’ve been separated).
2007-06-27 16:24:52 · update #1
I’m seeing my lawyer next week to finalize the details on the default judgment, but I’m wondering wheat to do in the meantime. I don’t want to talk to him if he calls again, but do I have to let him talk to the kids if he calls for them? It was my understanding that by not responding to the divorce papers, he waives his parental rights…is that true? If it comes to it, should I let him talk to the kids? Or do I need to contact my lawyer before my Monday appointment and let him know what’s going on? Any legal info would be much appreciated!
2007-06-27 16:25:15 · update #2
By the way, the kids are 8 and 5 1/2, and they have tried and tried to contact him over the past months and he will not respond. I do NOT badmouth him to the kids...I just tell them that I don't know where he is or why he doesn't want to talk to them right now (which is the truth). I don't think he was calling to talk to the kids at 11 pm...... Also, he drinks and does drugs, and was abusive.....
2007-06-27 16:43:59 · update #3
No, you do not have to let him. You are the custodial parent. Unless he sues, and wins, custody of the children or visitation, then you don't have to let him have any contact or information at all. I suggest that you not speak to him at all, for any reason. Speak only to your attorney, and do ask him/her about this situation.
2007-06-27 16:32:51 · answer #1 · answered by cyanne2ak 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
The father has as much right to his children as you do. And, no, his parental rights are NOT waived just because he didn't respond. The only way his parent rights can be terminated is if HE applys for it....you can't do it.
You and he need to stop acting like babies and set up a schedule of visitation for those kids. They have the right to visit with their dad and he has a right to visit with them. You cannot withhold them from him....
If you continue, he can make things very difficult for you in court and demand shared custody where the children would spend part of the time with him and part with you. You would be wise to work this visitation out.
Adults who divorce should never put the children in the middle. Those kids love their dad - even though you may not and you have no right to prevent them from having contact.
You may find this out in court.....
2007-06-28 00:29:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He drinks, does drugs, and was abusive is the afterthought?!? You've got yourself into a mess, and now with a boyfriend. Hmmm.....
Alright, here's what I've come up with.... You are all about You. Get over yourself and get serious about taking care of your kids and their emotional needs. Get the boyfriend out of the picture until your divorce is final (don't you think your kids deserve at least that much in terms of a good role model?) TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND!!! What the hell is it that you won't talk to him on the phone? Don't you think you should KNOW what he's thinking instead of asking the opinions of a bunch of anonymous strangers?! Don't you think it would be good for your kids to talk to him, even if it is on the phone?? Sure, you're not bad mouthing him but you aren't doing anything to help you kids either. It's the kids that matter honey. You've made your mistakes and have to live with them. Don't make two more by screwing up each of their lives with your stupidity.
2007-06-28 00:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by JustAskin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A divorce by default will not end his parental rights. Even though you may not want him in your life anymore dose not mean you can keep him out of his children's life. The only way his rights as there father can be terminated is if the court finds him unfit and dangerous and orders it or he gives them up of his own free will. Just know that even after the divorce he can at any time file a request for visitation and if granted you must allow him to see the kids as ordered. Remember they are just as much his kids as they are yours.
2007-06-27 23:47:19 · answer #4 · answered by debcat76135 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be robbed of a father is a horrible thing indeed.
Although you may feel that its not in the best interest of the children to talk to him now, perhaps sometime in the future when the divorce is over and things are a little more calm it may be a good time to let the kids talk to him again.
Remember, you don't own your children. Their voice counts too. Ask them what they want, and if they're requests are reasonable then it may be a good idea.
Try to explain the situation as honestly and child friendly as you can.
Its hard to remain non judgmental, but its in everyones best interest. Good Luck.
2007-06-27 23:34:19 · answer #5 · answered by A H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is not required to answer the lawyer. you may want to tell more about where you filed and how long you been there. he may have a case against you in another state. .your boyfriend violated the law by denying him contact with his kids. sadly this is how conflict starts and the kids suffer
2007-06-27 23:53:38 · answer #6 · answered by here to help 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your soon to be ex-husband is a bonehead.
However, one of these days he might grow up, and children can never receive too much love.
Just be careful, he sounds unpredictable now.... But I promise you nobody will ever love your children in the same way as their natural parents. And one of these days, he will hopefully understand that too.
2007-06-27 23:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by Dina W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he is not hurting anything then let him see the kids.kids today need a mom and dad in their lives. moms just can not teach a kid what a father can.bite your tongue as long as he is not hurting anything.
2007-06-28 02:31:38 · answer #8 · answered by charlsyeh 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah,keep him from his kids it will be good for them not to see there father and thank god you waited almost a year to start shacking up with another man,that will help the kids also,good luck
2007-06-27 23:32:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋