Here's the deal...I recently celebrated my 1 yr anvrsy this month! I've been having a feeling that my husband is cheating so, I investigated. I found him on MySpace offering to take pictures of a woman whose picture clearly said "stripper". Next I find emails form a woman I dont know asking the question "What would you do if you got someone pregnant while you were still married?" (his responce was " Where did that come from"). He gets calls early in the morning (after I leave for work) from his female "coworker". He even texts her after he complains to me about texting costing him money. He doesnt text me at all. He never has. Occasionally, when he's on the phone, leaving home, or coming in late, he gets this "look" on his face that makes me think he's up to something. With my 1st pregnancy he seemed to do the same thing.
The confusing part is that he's very affectionate and attentive to me when he's home. I even tried talking to him.
Is he cheating or is it the hormones?
2007-06-27 15:44:09 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dear Lady Dragon-fly,
Can I comment that you are pregnant and there are a lot of things that are going to become suspicious and seem out of sorts. If your husband is kind and affectionate to you then embrace it with all you have in you. Accept that he has a life outside your realm and appreciate that he comes home every night to you and your babies. An investigation on My-Space is not a valid investigation, things can be altered on that web site, besides an offer to take pictures is still just an offer, not an action. Don't be insecure and decide it is your place to snoop into his emails, because they are still just emails and just like a journal it is only written thoughts, not actions. As far as texting goes, you have a whole lot of other things to occupy your time than to worry who or what he is texting, again it is still just words not actions. Embrace the affection and attentiveness, as most married woman don't have what you do have. Cherish this time, don't stress on the small stuff. Choose your battles, don't let the battles choose you. You are very blessed. God Bless
2007-06-27 16:03:30 · answer #1 · answered by MJ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I will not give an answer either way. With your children, and the fact that you have only been married a year, you need to give your marriage an honest try. I do not believe that men or woman, when they are married need to have separate lives so to speak. He needs to cut ties with these other woman, delete his myspace account because there is already evidence of something that is really bothering you.
My hubby does flirt, he does have a friendship with a female co-worker. The girl at work, she is very sweet, our kiddos play together, and she and I are also friends. My hubby also does not take flirting to any disrespectful level. If it did truely bother me, he would not do it. He is my best friend, and that is what makes us happy together, and the reason that I have never had to ask this question. You need to both be fully honest, and talk all the time. If you feel threatened by these other things going on, then talk about it, if he was the right man for you, he will respect your wishes.
2007-06-27 16:08:32 · answer #2 · answered by Ivy_Woman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie..listen. I don't believe he is cheating. He can't control when someone asks him stupid questions. He can however, control his curiosity with the 'stripper'. Be alone with him, away from the little one and talk. Don't accuse him. Simply share your concerns with him. See how you read him after you talk. If he is defensive and avoids the question, there may be something to worry about. Try not to get upset as that won't help anything.
Are you and him still romantic and intimate? Some pregnant woman HATE sex but others are little horney toads. If you hate it, he may be looking for some sort of stimuli to assist him in.. satisfying his own urges.. If you are still enjoying it, try to spice things up and show him you are still attracted to him and want to please him. Keeping the fire hot at home is sometimes difficult but it's a job worth doing.
The best advise I can give you is talk.. talk.. talk.. there is nothing better. Good luck and God Bless!
2007-06-27 15:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by kris_mom_of_4_girls 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he is cheating on you, I believe he probably flirting with some of these gals. That is harmless unless he tries the goods on. He wouldn't be showing you all this affection, and also being so attentive. Your suspicion is just that, you really haven't seen him or heard of him being with another woman, have you? I feel that you are over reacting to the situation, try not to let your imagination get carried away. You could be making a mountain out of a mole hill, Give yourself some time, and just stay alert to what's going around you but, I wouldn't worry just yet. If he was cheating on you there wouldn't be much romance by him in your life, I feel very strongly about that. Good Luck, try not to worry, and have a healthy beautiful baby. God Bless.
2007-06-27 16:00:23 · answer #4 · answered by Butch. 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If your gut tells you he's cheating he is probably cheating. I worked for a private investigator one time who told me he made a bundle on people who wanted to find out if their spouse was cheating. He said they were really wasting their money, because 99.9% of the time when someone feels their being cheated on, they're right. As for the affection. just because he may be having sex with another woman doesn't mean he doesn't still love you. In his mind he rationalizes "what she doesn't know won't hurt her" and "it's only sex". It's still cheating all the same.
2007-06-27 15:56:01 · answer #5 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
he's cheating. anytime a man is doing things for another woman that he's not doing for you, he's cheating or seriously hoping to be cheating.
men are going to have sex with any woman that wants them provided that she isn't horribly disfigured or mentally handicapped. and with you being pregnant so much lately, it's probably been an ever increasing thought.
follow your instincts.
2007-06-27 15:49:00 · answer #6 · answered by t g 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should trust your gut on this one. I say he is a cheater. He probably feels a little guilty and that is why he is so affectionate towards you when he is home. I would leave him if you can or try to go for counseling if you really want to try and work it out with him.
2007-06-27 15:59:38 · answer #7 · answered by kailahsmommy 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you aren't sexy wife anymore, you are mommy. I know you don't need to hear that but instead of trying to change him . concentrate on you, it may take a little work but you may work harder on your own as a single mom raising 2 kids. a wise woman knows that even though she has the papers, she has to keep his blood flowing to all the important parts of his body.
sloppy fat women disgust most men , only the ones with low self esteem will answer the question " do I look fat in these slacks" with a solid NO. I like fat disgusting women. your lack of esteem keeps you watching him, he senses this and it gives him a thrill. he has no reason to change what he is doing, you are feeding his ego.
2007-06-27 15:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
you are being used, there arent to many other clues to tell you that.when hes not around find resoures to help you get out.he wants to have more then one women and the texting,myspace,and pictures is proof.tell him you aree going after you have a way,and let him know everything you know.your lucky he hasnt brought home something to infect you and your unborn child with.
2007-06-27 15:55:03 · answer #9 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It would seem to me that he is cheating on you.... The signs are all there... The texting/calls does it have to get any clearer? I would confront and then dump ! Good luck
2007-06-27 15:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by pebblespro 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋