She is sending my son out to visit me and she doesnt know my girlfriend has moved in with me. she has already made divorce a living hell for the past 2 years. And if my son tells her this she will go off the deep end.
2007-06-27 15:26:32 · 12 answers · asked by crank 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Obviously, you love your girlfriend as well as your son. Time for a change. Have a great time with your son. You live once. If he sees that you are happy, isn't that more important than worrying about her going off the deep end.
2007-06-27 22:01:47 · answer #1 · answered by fzjgenese 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not ask your child to lie! It will put him in the middle of an already difficult situation!
You have to tell her straight out that you have a live-in girlfriend. If there is a codicil in your visitation agreement that states you cannot be living with someone, than ask her to leave and stay with friends or relatives while he is with you. It is a very difficult thing to ask of you girlfriend, and even harder for your son! He has to come first with you, and if you have been put through hell because of the divorce, imagine what he has lived with. He deserves the majority of your time and attention while he is in your home.
2007-06-27 23:29:17 · answer #2 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would wait until your son gets there. However, be sure that when you pick him up that you go alone. It's not fair to your son to show up with your gf when he's not expecting it. That way you can use the car ride home to prepare him for the change.
Be sure that you make plenty of time for you and your son to have time alone. Is there somewhere the gf can go overnight if your son reacts badly?
If I were you I wouldn't call the mom and tell her. I mean it is her business because her child is going to be staying with your gf as well. But at the same time she has no right to dictate your life. Just let the son come and if he wants to go home and tell his mom let him.
It's not fair to ask your son to keep it a secret. I think you should just play it calmly and let him use the time there to get to know the gf but make sure that he knows he comes first with you.
If he goes home and tells his mother that your gf is living there and she calls you just tell her that you discussed it with your son and he was okay with it. And if he wasn't you can tell her that you made arrangements for the gf to stay elsewhere until he could get use to the idea.
I also really hope that your gf is understanding to the fact that your son may not want her there at first. Granted it is her home too, but she knows you have a son and she needs to respect his feelings as well.
Good luck to you and I hope you enjoy your visit with your son!
2007-06-27 23:01:25 · answer #3 · answered by mlbbell 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She could try to make it a problem. The courts dont like the whole night guest when child is present. But this is your time with your son. so enjoy it and worry with the x later. All you have to say is she left after he went to bed.
2007-06-27 22:31:19 · answer #4 · answered by lyttledarlin 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hopefully it does not say anything in your divorce agreement. Alot of them say you can not have anyone but someone you are married too in your house with the kids.
If it does not say that tell her to go to hell. You are not married to her anymore she is nothing more than a stranger on the street.
2007-06-27 22:35:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wait until your son gets there (so that you can make sure that she sends him) and then call her and let her know. You need to be prepared for the yelling and screaming and try to keep a level head.
2007-06-27 22:30:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Number 1, the divorce should be final so the ex has no say or impact on what you do. Number 2, what real man cannot stand up for himself?
2007-06-27 22:34:08 · answer #7 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think the best thing you can do is calmly sit your son down and let him know what is going on. he deserves to know this. Don't let your ex get to you. She is not a part of your life anymore. Your son is but she isn't so don't let her control you.
2007-06-27 22:30:15 · answer #8 · answered by ducky 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you are divorce is non of her business who you have in your house she has to realize that you are going to continue your life the only thing you have in common with her is a child
2007-06-27 22:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by locox62 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why does she need to know, sounds to me you left her to get away from the yelling and stuff. Tell your son, what happens at your house stays at your house, what ever happens at her house, stays at her house. Tell him that his mum couldnt handle it. good luck either way...
2007-06-27 22:34:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋