In American society are woman held to less responsibility than men?

Question

A small example of this would be examples of domestic abuse between ADULTS- sometimes escalating and possibilty culminating in death.
If for example me, a man, were to make friends with another man who at sometime began influencing me towards illegal drug activities with the threat of physically beating me if I didnt cooperate. I decide after a while to leave this guy alone and distance myself. 4 months later I find myself needing some money or friendship so I go back to working with the guy eventhough I still find myself somewhat hesitant. One day the news reports I was found shot to death at my home with his narcotics found dispersed around my the house.
How would society view me in this situation? Would they be sympathetic ? As a grown adult man few would sympathize with my situation and my CHOICES.
Why would this be any different than a woman staying in an abusive relationship or leaving and going back to that same person with a tragic end?

That woman would be a victim while a man in a similar situation would simply be an accomplice or just a willing participant. And woman seem to like this. Do you like not having to face up to responsibility?

I think many of you are missing the point- a man being stronger than a woman is not the focus here. A bear is stronger than me... if I have an idea this bear might hurt me the logical person would say " you know what, I dont think I should stay in this situation any further". Any rational being would leave an abusive situation- that's my point here. Regardless of how much stronger a man is than a woman, all she has to do is say no, and get out and stay out of that persons grasp.

ginandchthonic:
In your comment you said the two situations I described werent comparable. I dissagree. You were talking about the emotional damages, investment and societal image and such--- my interpretation is those are
"excuses" you wouldn't see a man use. If a situation is hazardous to your health- you leave, simple as that. Gina you are simultaneously justifying staying because of all the 'investment' in the situation--- then later saying how thankful and relieved you are when you leave. ! its either one or the other. Fine if it's a great situation in your mind, then simply stay. We're not talking about you know a relationship with say your kin or your kids. Sure, there isnt much to do if your kid is an ******. But you're talking about a relationship with a person that is nothing but a choice from the beginning to the end.

Answer 1

Yes, in a number of ways, including the way you describe. The fact that this occurs some of the time wouldn't bother men so much if women would simply admit this truth.

Answer 2

Interesting observation. However, as I was reading your story, I was expecting a different ending. I was expecting you'd say "A woman had a female friend... they both engaged in illegal activities....so on" I think in this case women and men would get an equal number of likes/disclikes and held equally responcible for illegal actions.

However, with abusive relationship between a man and a woman, woman is usually physically weaker, so it is not seen as an equal grounds situation. Also she was doing nothing illegal, just stayed with that man, which was stupid but not illegal. She posed no threat to society, not directly anyway, that's why this case would get more sympathy.

Answer 3

Do you know who Ginger Rogers was?... She was Fred Astair's dance partner... but their shows were always published as Fred's shows... oh, yeah, and I guess Ginger is there, too...
She once said that she had to do the same thing he did, but backwards and in high heals... and she still was never considered to be as great as he was.......



Calamity Jane said some thing similar-- She had to be twice as good, and was still considered half.....


When work performed is the same, as well as training and education,... the more background that is needed, the less likely a woman will earn as much as a man. In other words, in blue-collar, manual labor, men and women earn the same... but as you move up the corporate ladder... teachers, managers, lawyers, doctors, CEOs... a woman in the same position, with the same experience and education will earn up to 25% less. That's the female doctor earning $0.75 for every $1.00 that the male doctor earns.


Biologically speaking, most men are taller, bigger, and stronger than I am. I'm 5'3", 125 pounds. If you know of an adult man who is shorter, smaller, and physically weaker than I am (not counting physical deformities), I'd be interested in knowing.... This is the parallel universe that all women live in. Men have no clue that this is how we see the world... and that is how the world is. Over half of the adult human population has a physical advantage over me.... simply because I'm a woman. I can't overpower a man, not with shear strength, anyway.
Girls and women are taught to fight to survive. It's not about showing how tough we are- it's about survival. We're taught that we have to be a little crazy in a fight, simply to survive..... Is that fair? Not really, but it IS reality.


You ask about fairness and equality... I think that as soon as we start getting equal credit and capacity-- socially, financially, and physically... then equal responsability is appropriate.

Answer 4

The situations are in no way equatable. In your narrative you don't have a life or possibly children with your friend and society or maybe your family doesn't have any expectation of you stick it out with your friend. You haven't spent possibly years with your friend while your self-esteem, self worth and confidence is damaged and your friend has probably not managed to cut you off from you family, friends and support system. And your friend is likely not crying his eyes out professing his undying love and desire to change after punching you in the face or choking you nearly unconscious. Your friend probably hasn't ever made you a prisoner in your own home or threatened to kill you, take your children or hunt you down if you leave him. In short there isn't nearly the psychological, personal and societal impact present in the situation you describe to make it possible to effectively and objectively to make the comparison you're attempting.

Answer 5

The way I look at it; it all has to do with assumptions. Men are assumed to be stronger; that is not always the case and at times it is nothing but a bold faced lie. No matter what kind of a man he is he has emotions yes that's right he has emotions, yet it seems this fact is being overlooked.
People have emotions, but right now we are focusing on men.

Answer 6

Oh, I see what you mean. But the reason for the woman getting more sympathy is that people would assume that the man physically forced her to engage in illegal activity, and the threat of physical force is taken more seriously if it's fron a man to a woman because the woman would, in most cases, be less strong than the man who was abused, though it's completely unacceptable in any circumstance. In society, though, women are viewed as needing to be protected, to some extent.

Answer 7

Aside from the physical differences, women have historically had far less access to all types of resources. Women have been taught over the generations to be dependent on men for their livelihood. Until this gap is completely eliminated, and women no longer marry men for money and the like, society will continue to give women the benefit of the doubt in all gray area situations.

Answer 8

When you think about it in that perspective, the base assumptions that lead one to sympathize with the female victim and scorn the male victim are rather insulting to women -- people would have a tendency to assume the female was either forced, coerced, seduced, or otherwise influenced...in other words, women are of weak mind and character, and easily manipulated. The man was either stupid or deserved it or made a bad decision...in other words, he chose and put himself in that situation.

(These are general reflections of society at large, not intended to reflect any specific individual's viewpoint or beliefs.)

Answer 9

I think both genders should be responsible for all their actions. I would not be any more sympathetic if the scenario you depicted were a female.

Answer 10

I don't think they are held less responsible than men. However, your example is not a very good one. Since it is a pretty common fact that women are physically weaker then men, she would likely gain more sympathy where the threat of violence was a factor in her decision. Whereas people tend to assume a man is better physically equipped to defend himself.