How do I get rid of my insecurities?

Question

I've been that way all my life, and when I got a bit of confidence, mom was right there to destroy it(she thought it wasn't humble). I'm a shy, laid back person, so any contact I get from peers, is appreciated. I never really thought I was likable to the opposite sex either. Especially Indian guys(I'm not a typical Indian girl). I married an Indian guy recently. Things are going better than I imagined between us. But in my mind, I think he can do better. I know not to let him know because after so much reassurance, one gets tired, so I must fix it on my own. But I don't know how. I know the whole "in love" phase will fade, and "love" will remain, and my security might remain in tact, but I need to get over the insecurities now, so by the time my man comes to the states, I'll be ok, and he can fijnally get to know the me who wasn't standing on pins and needles. Please help if u can, thanks. Please don't say just get over it, I don't know how, so that's y i'm asking u guys.

Answer 1

Just communicate. I find the older I get it is easier to say "hey honey I am feeling insecure, I need a hug" than to drive myself crazy trying to figure out what he is thinking.

Admitting weakness is a tremendous strength :)

Answer 2

I'm sorry...I know what that is like. I think what helps me the most when I am feeling that way is to focus on the positives...and write everything I like about myself. You might be surprised! Keep in mind too that your Mother must have some sort of insecurities with herself, or she wouldn't need to bring you down. Make a commitment to yourself to stop the cycle from continuing for the sake of your well being and the well being of your future children...or for the ones you have now if you are a mother. I have heard that looking at yourself in the mirror and saying what a great and beautiful person you are, makes a difference. Good luck to you!

Answer 3

sounds like your thinking to much where you should'nt. first of all congradulations on your marriage, now wipe that thought out of your head, you know he can get better. this is not true. why? because your his wife and there is no other for him. your going to take care of him, throu ruff waters, calm waters whatever.just do your part,as a wife does. and remember communication is everything. the definetions of yours and his words may not be the same. you have to ask,if your not sure. never assume you know something.example.. i'll be back in a little bit. to him, 2-3 hours, to you 10 mins. also have faith in your man, just because he could have something better,does'nt mean he's thinking that at all. one more thing, guys like alot of b.j.'s

Answer 4

A lot of issues people have in life come from something deep rooted from their childhood. You grew up in a household where your mistakes had more weight than your positives. Your mother saw you for what you were not as opposed to what you were. Therapy is good, b/c it helps to unravel the deep rooted issues. You already have a head start and that is accepting you have issues. You will need to do some self exploration to unravel these issues, and hopefully you realize that your insecurities about yourself developed based on your mother's opinion. ultimately its what you think about yourself. no one can define you. you define yourself.

Answer 5

on each occasion i've got self assurance insecure, I repeat good issues approximately myself... like all of the failings i'm good at, all of the failings i've got complete, etc. So extremely of constantly thinking negatively, this is why you're insecure interior the 1st place, start up changing those unfavorable strategies with valuable strategies. yet another factor that makes me sense valuable and happy with myself is as quickly as I help out different individuals... like donating to a charity or using helping a chum. it constantly make me sense good, and it jogs my memory of what a good individual i'm to have made somebody else sense chuffed. shop your head up, and don't permit all and sundry get you down. those persons are actually not worth it.

Answer 6

By getting rid of insecure feelings.
This start because you are always thinking about yourself. Stop this and start thinking about others.
Have confidence in your self.
Take decisions on your own on almost all the subjects.
Avoid pampering of your parents often.
Face problems one at a time.
Try to understand your partner and his feelings.
Never allow your mother to poke her nose in your affairs, unless the suggestion and advise are acceptable and applicable.
Love or friendship or relationship should be unconditional as far as possible.

Answer 7

hello Ther is no escape,
sorry to say but ur id itself shows very -ve thinking behind
i could not unstand ur question properly as its confusing .but could recognise that u need confidence and wa nt to overcome ur insecurities
ther r many people who go thru such conditions some go thru worst than this so consider ur self lucky that u have a mother , and she got u married to good guy .some times we need to see below to feel our selves secure .see zopad patti people how they live their life? we r quite safe n secure and credit goes to parents ,
parents r also human being n they can some mistake u try to avoide those mistake with ur own daughater ,so change ur id 1st think +ve and evrything will change
u can say glass is half filled or half vaccant . its the same its just ur nazariya.

Answer 8

You have to change your present mind setup. Other wise it is difficult to win over. First you must build up self confidence and keep belief in you. Strong determination is essential while you starts a new mission on any walk of life. Develop these qualities and it will help you in transformation in your personality.

Answer 9

It really does take time. Listen to what he says to you. Honey he married you. He loves you and what he is saying is how he really feels for you. You are what he wanted. Out of all the women in this world You are who he chose. No one can take that away from you not even your mom. You should feel proud! Alot of people dont find what you have found. Thank God for your gifts and let him know you appretiate them. He though you deserved them so now you should know this is true.

Answer 10

i used to feel insecure about myself too. About my looks, and just stupid stuff. But you have to realize why should you care what people think of you. your not going to impress or satisfy everyone meet. there are going to be Haterz. But always know there Are people who do like you for who you are. So stick with those people and enjoy life. There is too many people on this earth, too care about everyones opinion.

And if somebody is really like talking about you or looking at you funny cuz they dont like you, THEY are the ones with an issue! if they really waste their time talking about you, they must have their own insecurities.

sorry for rambling...but my point is Be yourself, and if somebody got a problem tell thim to shove it up their a**!

hope i was a help to you.