why are men so mean when it comes to child support?

Question

i have worked all my life

Answer 1

I think it is beacuse some women (not all) take advantage of the extra money. My father paid a good amount of child support to my mother and I can tell you from experience that the money wasn't spent how it should have been.

Answer 2

Some people have a hard time realizing that this money helps support their child. They figure that since the ex gets it, the ex must use it on themselves (I hear it all the time from many guy friends), but in many cases (and I know it is not all) child support doesn't come close to supporting the child. My son's child support wasn't enough to even pay for his daycare while I was working and he was an infant. It was fifty dollars less than the weekly fee. Daycare was 125, add diapers, and just food, and I was well over the 75 my ex was ordered by the court to give not to mention well over what I would be paying if all I had to do was match it. Though he didn't pay anyway. He was selfish, he admits it now, and he is over it. He told me that he knew I would do whatever it took to take care of our son. I did. But some men are really great about paying child support and more importantly being there for their child. For me...I didn't care about the money, I just wanted my son to know his father. That was the hard part. My ex just wouldn't come around because of the guilt. It took many years before he finally started coming around and getting to know our child. It is a shame, because they will never be as close as they could have been. One more thing...please try to not bad mouth your child's father in front of them. It is very hurtful to the child. No matter what the father is or is not doing.

He did start paying when my son was 8 though, and he has continued. I am thankful for that, but really...it doesn't come close to half of what I pay to care for my child. It is okay though...my son is worth whatever sacrifice it has ever taken. We have done without new things, because that isn't what matters. I learned a lesson about sacrifice and how to save money. My son learned the difference between wants and needs, and he never had a bad day over it.

Answer 3

Probably because they dont like paying for the ex wife to have a better life. Now i am not saying all ex wives do this, but some do. For example, my husbands ex wife. He pays her 50% of his weekly wage (gross). the kids dont get even an allowance the 2 oldest have jobs. She has 2 new cars, a harley, and just got a new house. Plus she has only let him see his kids 5 times in the last 8 years. Takes her to court, nothing changes. I can see why men get a little bitter when they feel like they are always being shafted.

Answer 4

Not all men are. Some men step up and pay their child support without complaint. I've never had a problem with my ex about child support.

Answer 5

Why does it always come down to the men being mean. Im sure women are not totally innocent in every child support issue and most people on here are right child support is for the kids not for the mother her boyfreinds or what ever for the kids and honestly i don't belive that all child support is ever spent on the kids.

Answer 6

the men dont know how hard we have to work for child support. They think that since the mom birthed it, that means that the child has to stay with them. But when the mom wants then the man wants them to make the mother mad. Does that make sense?

Answer 7

Lily and Kat? do either of you have any children and how old are you?
do you not know that in a relationship where children are involved that it is the father that makes more money, normally by being allowed to work longer hours because of the fact that the mother is at home with the kids?!?!? therefore most men do NOT request joint or sole custody of their children. and its not women who think they should have the children, go talk to a judge or sit in on a divorce case.
you have to be what 15 years old? haha. and if a mother did not have the extra mouths to feed and larger home to shelter her children, she wouldn't need the money. he helped to bring those children into this world, and it takes 2 to end a marriage. you two girls need to educate yourself before you leave comments such as these. and its unhealthy for children to go back and forth between their parents' homes-50% here and 50% there.
NOW TO THE QUESTION!! sorry i had to vent.
the normal amount of child support awarded to a custodial parent is 17% of the noncustodial parents wages PER child, normally not to exceed 45% of their wages. that can add up to alot sometimes. and men see what is being taken from them instead of the better life their children will have. they are infuriated thinking they have to give this money to a woman they are no longer with.
and NO MOST women don't spend the money on themselves.
geez i'm overwhelmed at some answers. child support is payable to the other parent to do with as they see fit in regards to the child. if a parent wants to take that money and make their car payment with it, they can. afterall, its the custodial parent using that car to drive the kids to ball practices, friends houses, etc, or to the freakin grocery store to buy food to put in their mouths.
the parent paying child support is just bitter. thats why people should wake up and recognize the true meaning of marriage and beinga parent before they jump into it, instead of thinking with their genitals or not thinking at all.

Answer 8

So many young men today,don't pay for many reasons . Some say I can't even see my child.(there is no admission fee, they need to eat and have shelter,clothing no matter what) Some say how do I know how the money is being spent(None of their business,the custodial parent decides)Some men have to be arrested, or have their pay checks garnished.I have custody of my grandson his father owes over $7,000 in back support.in 6 years he has paid nothing.I agree some men are mean but we can not blame the entire gender. Alot of mothers are also wanted for child support, and guess what they have the same lame excuses, I know ..... my daughter is one .

Answer 9

While I disagree with the sweeping generalization of your question...I think what you're probably seeing in SOME men is frustration with the family court systems. Historically they have been extremely biased against men in adjudicating custody, alimony, and child support cases?

The problem didn't start when he stopped making payments.

Answer 10

Guys arent the only one. My hubbys x didnt work didnt take care of the house cook or take care of the kids. He filed for divorce and was gonna give her almost everything and child support. She wanted to fight it she wanted the house and land and everything in and on it. Child support and alimony and she wanted him to pay all the bills for everything. Now who is mean.