My Hubsband and I have been together for 3 years, and we have a good open relationship, recently, we had some problems with a few of his friends, what started as a small argument turned in to the biggest fight we've ever had.
He turned into a different person, he said things that hurt me more than I thought possible.
We've made up now but that side of him scared me, and I feel like couseling would be a good idea.
My husband says he is willing to go but he seems so .. reluctant.
and the more I think about it, maybe .. it might cause more problems than it would solve.
not to mention, we don't have a ton of money.
what has been your experience with couseling?
We don't normally have fights like this, should we just move on?
I feel confused...
2007-06-27 11:53:32 · 16 answers · asked by Vanilla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If this was a one time thing I wouldn't go to counseling. It sounds like you have talked it over and he won't act like that again, but if he does you both know that you will go to counseling then.
2007-06-27 11:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dance 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do people think the only type of counseling comes from a high paid professional psychologist. Little do they realize that the best type of marriage counseling they can receive comes not from a paid professional but from rather a clergy member of a church. Spiritual counsel is the best counsel because unlike the counseling you would receive from a psychologist that basically focuses in on individual problems, spiritual counseling focuses on the marriage as a whole and best of all it is usually free to members of the church. If you haven't done so already now would be a good time to invite God into both your life and your marriage. Hope this helped. I will keep you guys in my prayers. Peace and God bless.
2007-06-27 12:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling doesnt help everyone. In this case I would recommend letting it go for now and see if it was a one time thing. I dont see a pattern or any realreason to go to counseling especially when you cant really afford it. Its a good idea but not now not for this. So just let it die and move on
2007-06-27 12:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We went to counseling at one time in our marriage. My feel was even if the counselor knew what to say that would fix everything they were not going to let us know many many payments down the road.
Besides we had to wait 7 days between sessions and it was torture to just put things on hold. Then after the sessions I always felt worse after rehashing everything.
Marriage is about not getting hung up on a few words said in the heat of anger.
Save your money and spend it on something you both can really enjoy.
2007-06-27 12:02:09 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your local churches probably have a qualified person who would counsel you two for free, check around.
My hubby and I went to premarital counseling, not because of problems, but because the minister required it. We thought it was a bunch of hooey, until we went, it was VERY beneficial, they asked VERY important questions about family, living arrangements, money. I am glad we put everything out there on the table BEFORE saying "I do"
You two need the counseling, regardless of who you think will benefit more, just do it.
2007-06-27 12:02:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't expect counceling to solve everything. chances are you will have to go thru a few crappy councelors to find a good one that suits you both. a good move would be to get some referrals from friends so that you don't get bummed when you encounter a crappy councelor who makes you pay them for nothing.
if you have insurance, it might cover counceling. i would check up on that.
it might be a good move if you see that the fights keep happening and nothing is getting resolved. but a lot of times if you have open comminication, fighting is normal and if you talk about it afterwards and come to an understanding, things will be OK. but if nothing ever gets resolved, counceling might be a good option. i know they're expensive, which is why i am not all pro-counceling, but there is a time and a place for everything.
2007-06-27 11:59:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah well it can give you insights but it's up to you to use the information to stay on track.
My husband and I are currently in counseling we are on our 5 session. It has made us aware of each others point of view and how to fight a bit more fair.
I think it has been helpful to have a mediator with no personal bias.
But my guys a typical guy and it's wearing him down. I want to wind up the sessions pretty soon.
2007-06-27 12:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by theladygeorge 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This truly depends on what the hell happened that caused this terrible fight. It must have been something incredibly intense if it caused him to change into a different person and it left scars on you?
Your marriage has to be handled by a professional, because this problem has caused too much damage. If you ignore it, it will wind up in divorce. So if you love each other, make the appointment. Good Luck
2007-06-27 12:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my own experience with counselors i have seen over the years that humans could manipulate them and their own situation. You do not need counseling, see what the future brings and keep a close eye on your situation. Maybe you see more in it than it's worth to be.
2007-06-27 12:00:06 · answer #9 · answered by johann_777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling helps, but only to a certain point because when it boils down to it you are the ones who have got to do the changing and we all know how easy it is to change (not easy at all usually). Communication doesn't hurt anything though.
2007-06-27 12:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by Suzanne Rides 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋