My daughter just came in front door because my husband left the gate to our fenced yard unlocked for about the 5th time.He also left ladder to pool down last week.last year he did this 3-4 times.He has left utility knifes in her reach.other ladders doen near pool,chairs,and table around pool.I have talked to him several times and it does no good!How and why is he being so careless? on weekends when hes home I have to tell him its her lunch time and dinner time or he will not feed her! I don't understand why or how he can just say he forgot and act like its nothing? I check every night for the ladder should I have to check gate,every thing else all the time?How can I get him to care?
2007-06-27 11:24:22 · 21 answers · asked by monica s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you still going to wonder this when she ends up hurt or worse? Are you going to ask him why he didn't think about it when your daughter is at the bottom of the pool? It sounds like you need to get her away from him! There is nothing wrong with staying married, but living seperately. I've done it, I know people who do it. What would you do if it was a babysitter doing all of this? Your allowing your daughter to be in harms way and he should care about that. Are you sure he doesn't do it on purpose so he doesn't have to watch her often? Does he think life would be better without her? Because no parent in their right mind would "forget" to feed their child or leave her in dangerous situations.
2007-06-27 11:33:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Talk to him again - sounds like he doesn't take his parenting very seriously.
Get a self closing latch and spring for the gate. That way, it will pull itself closed and latch automatically. Also, mount it on the gate high enough that your kid can NOT reach it until they're old enough to know not to run in the street.
Besides, at age 4 - they should probably be supervised at ALL times, whether in the back yard OR front yard. 4 Year olds are natually curious and known to get into trouble exploring new things.
2007-06-27 11:31:23 · answer #2 · answered by aa889d 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible you were always the one to take care of your daughter and now he's clueless as to what to do with a child? It sounds terrible to imagine a father not thinking of his child security but some men don't inherit automatically a '' father's instinct''........I have many stories about my ex forgetting to feed our daughter and then filling her up with cupcakes.
How does he react when you tell him he forgot the ladder by the pool, does he realizes it's a danger and feel bad.
2007-06-27 11:45:08 · answer #3 · answered by Jane Marple 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is absolutely repulsive and most likely grounds for the children to be removed from the home. He would have found his belongings on the curb with the trash, the locks changed and been handed divorce papers. Just disgusting. Also, anyone with functioning above the brain stem knows better than to watch porn in the main living area of a home where children are awake and present. That by itself is wrong, even if he was just watching it!
2016-04-01 08:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now as far as feeding time, you daughter is now old enough to go up to him and tell him when she's hungry. If he forgets about feeding her, she'll let him know when she is hungry. I haven't met a kid who hasn't done that. Now as far as being his mommy, no more nagging him. You aren't the perfect parent, either. I'm sure you've done plenty of careless things when it comes to your daughter. Have you ever left her in the car to pay a bill, pay for gas, etc? Have you ever left the room to answer the phone? He might consider THAT as careless. Your constantly checking up behind him sounds like obsessive compulsive behavior.
I'm sure your daughter can climb up to the sink and get whatever steak knives you may have left in the sink. I'm sure your daughter can find whatever bobby pins you may have dropped and stick them in outlets while you are in the bathroom, or somehow else momentarily distracted.
Please no more nagging him, or you may find he'll find a woman that appreciates him and everything he does. Good luck.
2007-06-27 12:02:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'd pack up some things for my child and I and then I'd leave. There is no way I would allow my child to be exposed to such dangers.
Your husband's total lack of responsibility shows that he is obviously not grown up enough to be a parent.
As a firefighter, I've seen some terrible tragedies because a child wasn't supervised. It only takes a few minutes for something to go horribly wrong. It is something you will never get over.
Perhaps if you leave and he figures out that he has to grow up he will. Then you can decide if it's a safe environment for your child. If not, your child is safer without him. Good luck.
2007-06-27 11:37:24 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
That's a tough one. My sister's husband is careless with the kids as well. I remember a few years ago when my niece was about 8 months old she had a small plastic bag of small screws in her mouth. She had found the bag of screws on the floor. When I saw her with the screws I took them out of her mouth and gave the screws to my brother in law. About 30 minutes later, my niece had the very same bag of screws in her mouth again. Some people are just careless. The only thing you can do is to continue to stay on him and take every precaution availiable when it comes to the safety of your child. Peace and God bless.
2007-06-27 11:34:56 · answer #7 · answered by cave man 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do not talk to him anything about it particularly. just try to give the child to him and let him play with her/him for a while. you take care of the child and let him only play and enjoy the good part. he will get attached to the child eventually and then you show him by your actions that how do you care and how you both should cooperate to keep her/him safe. be patience and coverup his mistakes and show him without pointing out..pointing out and nagging does not keeps one memorize it and be alert about it. so just let this care slip to his unconsious mind through love and care. he doesnt seems to be so loving and caring...so make him
2007-06-27 12:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by mumtaz 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're just going to have to make things as safe as possible and keep being the Mom. He sounds like a big kid who you have to look after as well. Men sometimes have to learn these things for themselves.
2007-06-27 11:29:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow I would be scared to death to leave my child with this guy...as much as you may love him I would get rid of him before your child ends up dead...You should not have to check for everything like that..He is not two he knows that there is a child running around...You have one kid to check on you need help from you husband with your child not watch your child and husband too....good luck to you.........
2007-06-27 11:31:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋