my husband is always moody and doesnt seem interrested in family life?

Question

ive been married 9yrs now and we have 2children,my husband works but has days off in the week etc.. but he is sooo moody ,i carnt chat to him about how i feel about things ,he just gets snappy with me!,im a housewife and i dont work ,but i keep our house lovely and clean,the kids are happy and well looked after,i do everything i can to keep the family happy but he doesnt seem happy,i feel so unloved sometimes all i want and need is a cuddle (not sex)but he carnt seem to seperate a cuddle witch doesnt lead to sex ,sometimes i think to myself what is the point of being together?we dont do family outings etc .parks,zoo ...he doesnt seem interressted at all,i dont go out nor does he so were together every night we hardly chat ,im very outgoing and chatty n bubbly i love to talk lol,but hes the opposite,im only 32 hes 34 but i feel like a 60yr old ,im scared to leave because the kids would be heart brocken plus im just so used to my life it would feel strange to go at it alone !

Answer 1

maybe he is stressed about something.. like money, job ect...
how was he raised? look at his childhood and see how he was treated and how his family acted. I think we tend to do what we are use to. If his family wasn't close, cuddle type then he may not be.
did he use to be and now hes not?
and the cuddle thing not leading to sex...FORGET it honey its a man thing....I don't think you can touch them with out the whole sex thing...at least that's my experience..
how was his dad? maybe he believes the man brings home the bacon and the women tends the house and children...


good luck...but, there are other obtions then leaving...

go Jr go

Answer 2

Oh boy! I've dealt with a moody husband before and it isn't fun! It's not necessarily anything that you're doing that is making him moody. You can try to talk to him all you can. I know that you're a bubbly person and it's hard being home with the kids all day. Do you have any outside activities that you can turn to in order to vent your frustrations? Friends or family that you can talk to?

I would NOT suggest you leaving him. This can be worked out. But every person is different. If he's in a funk, it might take a lot for him to get out of it. At the same time, you need to keep on surviving as best you can, because once he snaps out of it he might need you to be there for him. That might be where having some sort of outside activities come in.

Maybe you can specifically ask him what you can do to make things better for him. I'm sure it's great that you keep the house perfect and the kids happy, but he might need something different. Wouldn't it be worth it to leave a sink full of dirty dishes if it meant getting him into a happier mood by giving him a small massage or something?

Answer 3

Try to establish a routine of dinner, baths and bed for your two kids. Say the house is quiet after, say 8:30. He can chill and watch TV and you go take a nice hot bath. Watch TV with him, or read a book, or just go to bed.

Relationships ebb and flow, dear, and it sounds like yours is ebbing. This is when partners back up and regroup.

Start slowly. Rent a movie and you and he watch it. Pop some popcorn. Just chill.

It is good that he does not distinguish a cuddle from "now we have sex." Put on something sexy and some makeup and sit with him Planning on things taking their normal course.

Start asking him every day if there is anything you can do for him. It just indicates you still think about him, even with everything else you have to do. Hopefully he picks up the habit.

Ask him to grill for dinner, most guys like to go outside and make a fire. Sit outside and watch the kids play in the kiddie pool. Be outside.

Invite your sister and her family over so the kids can play and have the guys BBQ.

Consider incorporating a good multi vitamin into your diet. Just buy them, take one after a meal when he sees you do it, and only mention it if he asks. I keep a miniature pharmacy: C, E, multi, gingko biloba, etc. When my partner moved in he eventually started taking them. Now he's pretty religious about it. This is a good thing.

Consider taking a night away with him. Would Grandma take the kids overnight one night?

He sounds really tired. Try to make sure once he's sleeping he stays asleep uninterrupted, in a dark, quiet room, at a comfortable temperature.

See if this doesn't ease things up. Right now I think he thinks he's doing the best he's can. I see that you are. Things will change. He's taken on a lot of responsibility in a world where at this point most men would have bailed.

Hang in there, enjoy the Ebb and the Flow, it's all a part of Life......

Answer 4

Have you tried talking with him about how he is acting all indifferent an all. If you could get him to talk and let him know how unhappy you are and express that you love him and can't keep living like this. You and he are not that old, I think he has gotten in a rut with life. Maybe if you get a babysitter and make plans to go out to a movie or dinner together this may help. Let him know you love him and want to spend time with only him. Express how that would make you so happy and see if that makes him blink. Put on something sexy when he comes from work and have dinner and candles waiting then see if that makes him think twice. If that doesn't work seek counseling quick, he has loss interest and know that you have tried all you could.

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Answer 6

He obviously isn't happy. You both could be enjoying life, especially with 2 children. Maybe you don't realize it, but you are letting him disrespect you and waste prescious times in your life. You are both in your prime.

OKAY, now you have to take the reigns. Get your self respect, pride, dignity and value back and confront him, whether he wants to hear it or not. You have to get really close now.

Tell him, you're worried and you do not like the way he is acting and you want to know what's going on. That the children are starting to notice. He is obviously not happy and you want to know why? Does he still love you? Does he love the children? Does he love his job? What would he love to change in his life. Does he feel like a failure?

Just say that you want to help in anyway you can to make him happy, but he has to tell you what's wrong. Tell him he can't ignore the way this is causing you and your children to live.

The most important thing is to compliment him. You have to make him feel like he accomplished. Tell him he looks gorgeous and he's turning you on. Tell him that he always made you very happy and you will never want that to be ruined. Tell him, he is the luckiest man in the world, because he married you. Don't wait for him, just grap him kiss him, hug him and tell him you love him. Grab his ____Bite his ear and whisper what you want to do to him later, because he's making you hot and crazy. Lift his spirits and yours will lift automatically. Remember, when a spouse has a problem, they run to the other. You're the other, the one with the strength right now. It could be so fun and exciting. Show him how much fun and excitement.

I wish you all the luck. God Bless

Answer 7

Your husband is showing signs of being depressed and is taking it out on you indirectly. There is no way of figuring out why hes depressed on here, but could use some professional help here, but whether he will admit a problem and seek help is another thing. Its not easy living with someone who is depressed and wont admit it as youre finding out. You or maybe you can get a close friend to talk to him into getting some help. It will definitely help here and save your marriage. If not youll have to learn to do things with the kids without him,but eventually he will start to ask questions and youll have to tell him the truth that you cant count on him anymore and he seems more pre-occupied with something outside his family. He may fight you on this so youll have to exhibit some tough love if you want to continue with him. Good luck

Answer 8

Do not use the kids an excuse to stay together. That's a very baaad idea. Also, do not be afraid to be independent.....being on your own is not as bad as some people think.

Maybe your husband is in a slump. I would suggest counseling for the both of you to attend. Divorce should ultimately be the last resort. But, his misery is making you miserable and I don't think you want to stay that way forever...if he doesn't change.

Answer 9

The problem is with you both. He is wrong you know where he is wrong. But the point that you should know is life is always not like that you dream about..sometimes its so time taking that the whole life passes on to understand things. you solve his problem by talking to him ...let me say whats your problem is.
Gossiping and talking too much is a bad habit. try to reduce it..men do like that.he might not like to talk to you bcoz of this. Park, zoo is not the only thing that the family should go around to be happy. better make him know about his children and indulge in him in this thing so that he starts caring family and his people..
From you words it looks like you 30's but still immature. Give importance to your husband and his thinking style..dont just think of fulfilling your dreams. dont be a chatting robot, be a bird in the home to which all see and care and share..dont be that bold..be calm and patience..thing will eventually change. He may be behaving like 60's but look yourself ..are behaving too young?

do not think of those brainless whisperers who say you that he is having an affair or he is very bad..think good and do good. suspision only increases and breaks the relations alas

Answer 10

How about baby steps? Can you take the kids to the park, zoo or library by yourself? I bet there would be others moms ans dads that you could talk to. Once you have done that a few times, maybe then arrange a play date for the kids so you could talk to them more and make some friends. Could you invite them over to your home for lunch or something?
The point here is twofold,
One: you will not change your husband, but you can change you and maybe your kids, Making new friends for you and the kids could make you and them happier.
Two:You might feel more self-confidence knowing that you are worthwhile to talk to and be around. No need to feel 60 and scared, you and the kids are worth it! Good Luck!