First pregnancy and mother. I'm scared, nervous, excited, so many emotions. Advice Making the right decision

Question

I have been asking questions thoughout the day and I have yet another one.

Any advice: I have never been pregnant before and I am now 14 weeks pregnant. I only found out yesterday. I have been back and forth with the choices I have and made the decision to have my baby. I am scared, nervous, excited, etc, and I have cried and cried, haven't slept with trying to make a decision. I don't see myself going thru abortion being 14 weeks, but I am scared to go thru this pregnancy by myself How do I determine I have made the right choice

FYI The father is pretty much "ran" when I told him

Answer 1

When I was pregnant, the father ran too. I felt just like you. It was almost surreal. I couldn't imagine that a few months from then, I would be a mother. However, in time, I grew to love the child I carried. Now, the love for my 18 month old is un real. I can't imagine or even really remember my life before her.
You are making the right descision---and it is a hard one. Just remember the right descision isn't always the easy one to make. Abortion may sound simple, but it isn't. Chose to love your baby and yourself.

Answer 2

I think you are already to far along to have an abortion because you are already into your 2nd trimester I may be wrong. I would talk to your local planned parenthood for information on an abortion. Do research on the internet and see what actually happens during the 2nd trimester abortions before you make your decision.

I really feel the only option you have this far along is to have your baby. Pregnancy is a very unique experience. You have plenty of time to decide wheather you want to keep the baby or put the baby up for adoption. There are thousands of people in the world that can't have kids that would make great parents.

This is a very personal decision. No one can tell you what is right for you. Make the right decision for yourself. You just found yesterday. You have several months to figure it out. Don't try to rush into anything.

As for the father running off - Oh well - you can do as a single mother. Don't let that be the main reason for considering adoption! I am a single mom & it can be done. Take him to court and get child support. You will find a man that will love you and your son.

Answer 3

First of all congratulations! You are about to embark on the best adventure of your life. Second, screw the dead beat. He may come around to the idea, but you don't need him. You made the right decision to keep your baby. It is very scary, and that's why so many have an abortion. However, I don't know one person that chose to have their baby and regretted it , unlike the ones who end their pregnancy and think about "what if" for the rest of their life. I have two boys and granted I am married, but it was a huge step. I thought I'd be a horrible mother until the nurse laid my baby in my arms and then everything I needed to be a mother came so naturally I can't even begin to explain. You will do great and you'll never be by yourself. You'll always have your precious little baby who will love you for the rest of your life. You are so lucky!!!!

p.s. your dr. can tell you at this point the gender if you don't already know.

Answer 4

When I was pregnant my son's father left also. I, like you, was terrified of what lie ahead of me. I did not know what to expect, how I was going to support myself much less a child. So the emotions you are going through right now are very normal.
Unfortunately, you will never know if the choice you decide to make is right until you've made it. There is no foresight in situations like this.
I can tell you, from personal experience, that seeing my son smile everyday gives me all the reassurance I need to know that keeping him was the best decision of my life. We struggled at times. It's been hard at points, but it is all so worth it.
Now, for you, that's your own personal decision sweetie. If I had a say, of course I would say do not abort the baby at 14 weeks. If anything, give him/her up for adoption. Just calm down and research ALL your options and remember you don't have to make this decision today.

Answer 5

I am a first time Mum too and have exactly the same feelings as you have, without the complication of the Father doing a runner.

Even today I have been in the ladies bathroom at work and thought that I don't like being pregnant, liked my life as it was and I can't see how a child can add to that. Then I remember the overwhelming feeling of love when I heard the babies heartbeat and how it felt to see a little hand wave on the scan and suddenly everything seems OK.

So what I am trying to say is that you will have good days and bad days. Days where it seems crystal clear and days where you will doubt your choices. Hang on to the positive and it will all be worth while.

Answer 6

Having been in the same position, you've already made the hardest decision! But now that the decision is made, embrace it! Congratulations! You're going to have a baby! This is exciting, wonderful and thrilling! And yes, scary, too! Tell your mom, tell your sister, tell your friends. They will celebrate with you and share the joy and excitement. They can help you through the hard parts and answer some of the 10 million questions you'll have during the next few months!

If you need an e-friend who's been there, feel free to e-mail me. I'm in your corner!

Answer 7

i think that throughout your pregnancy and maybe even afterwards there will be times when you feel you have made the wrong choice and times when you know you made the right choice.
When you have an ultrasound and see your baby for the first time you will know it was the right choice, when you first feel him/her kick, when you first hold him/her in your arms...etc
When your exhausted as hell, when the kids being a bit of a **** head :) you may feel it was the wrong choice

Trust the good times and know that you made the right choice. The good times in anything not just pregnancy will always outweigh the bad, not necessarily in how often they occur but how they make you feel. Life is a roller coaster, filled with ups and downs. You can't have one without the other. And the downs just make the ups seem so much more worthwhile.
Congratulations and good luck :)

Answer 8

I hope you are not contemplating an abortion because the father "ran" I see to many young women make that mistake. The man being around or not around should not be basis for an abortion. Im pregnant for the first time also, and was scared at first but I love my baby and will do everything to protect her and be there for her. With faith and strength you will make it, theres alot of successul single mothers out there. I guess the emotions and feelings you are going through are the same for alot of first time moms as we do not know what to expect, but believe me when that belly starts to grow bigger and bigger your love for your child will grow bigger and bigger together and it will ease all your worries..

Take care and I wish you the best and congrats on your pregnancy

Answer 9

It's a very personal decision. It's not easy raising a child but it's not easy knowing you ended a life either. Adoption is another hard option. It's all something you really have to look at and consider. A baby is a blessing. Consider how you'll feel with each choice. Talk to family and look for support. Good luck!

Answer 10

you have made a brave choice, one that you will NEVER regret. years from now you will wonder how you could have even considered abortion. the love you will feel for your child is like nothing you will ever experience with someone else. you have made the right choice honey. he HAS to pay you child support, if you live in canada you can even stay at home with your baby. CONGRATULATIONS! im not sure what i believe in, but sometimes it seems like things happen for a reason doesn't it? and that is comforting. most of the women here are helpful and understanding, and you are never without a shoulder to lean on or someone to talk to. GOOD LUCK!