I'm thinking about getting a divorce?

Question

I have been married for almost 4 years and we have been togerther for 10 years this is my thing he don't trust me we get into fights about nothing(phone bill, someone hit my car, etc) that just are a few thing and I am so tried of it .We don't have any kids together but I am just so tried I would love to come home with some peace sometimes. I know everyone have fights but it's about the simple things, he question everything I do like what time I got off from work, to did I take a bath when I got off from work and there other things, I care for him but i just tried of the fights, and I just want to leave.

Answer 1

Ask yourself this question: Do I truly love my husband? If so, then try to get to the bottom of his accusations. Wait until everything is calm and set him down for a one on one conversation. Explain to him that this is not for another fight but to try and get to the bottom of things before a divorce comes into the picture. This man sounds as if he has serious trust issues that need to be addressed. Think back over the time that you have been with him. Is he simply questioning you or is he accusing you of stepping out? As much as I hate to say this, When a person in a relationship is constantly accusing the other of affairs, 90% of the time it is to cover up something that they themselves are doing. Not that I'm saying this is something happening in this situation, but it is food for thought. Marriage takes work and allot of it. Meaning that it is about compromise and trust. These two issues are very hard for some people. Do a little more soul searching and conversation with your husband before automatically deciding divorce as 4 years isn't that much time considering that some times it will take some people much longer to acquire the required traits for marriage. It will pay off in the long run. I wish you the best in this situation.

Answer 2

What's with the 20 questions? Is that is way of having something to talk about or are you on trial. I would tell him when you get in you need some down time, peace & quiet. Everyone needs it. Find out what the reason for the inquisition is there a trust issue? If he can't relax then I would tell him your at your witts end and would rather be alone then deal with all this drama (Hopefully he will smarten up).

Good LUck..

Answer 3

It is a big decision - something that would follow you the rest of your life. Think twice about it.

One thing though - is that you need to set up boundaries. Let him know that if he doesn't change or would want to change, then you will leave him. Make him realize that you are willing to work things out, but he needs to join you in the effort. Go to counseling.

If things still don't work out, then separate - run as far away as you could and never look back (don't let a past relationship hold you back from a more fulfilling life).

Answer 4

Have you thought about seeing a counselor and trying to work out some of these problems? You loved eachother once, what happened? It is possible to recover from this, but it takes time and work to love and trust eachother again. You can't always run away from your problems because they usually follow you. You might end up in the same situation with another guy...so then what? run away again? I know this sounds lofty and high and impossibly, but you can recover from this, if you want to and grow from it. But if you are just set on quitting then there is nothing else to be said. How does your husband feel?
I would really suggest you try to get counseling. Make it a priority. It helps to have someone else point out stuff to you and help you work through things.
My man and I went through lots of rough patches. Counseling helped us. I also read the book, "The proper care and feeding of husbands" by Dr. Laura and it helped. As much as I wanted to deny it, I was to blame for most of the crap in our lives. Just...try it. If you have to initiate a "no talking" rule just to avoid the fights then do so, but if he is a good man and you care for him it is actually emotionally easier to try and work through the problems then to just quit.
I really hope you reconsider and try to work it out. If nothing changes or gets worked out after counseling then maybe it was not meant to be, but I would exhaust ever effort first before thinking of divorce.

Answer 5

Divorce is a very difficult ordeal. Have you tried any kind of counseling? Something between you brought you two together. Maybe that can be found again. I know how you feel, but your feelings might be deceiving you. When it comes to divorce, you need to be smart and make reasonable (as opposed to emotional choices.) God Bless you, I know where you are, but I have been where you are going and it's such a mess.

Don't be confrontational to him. Take the high road. See if he will go to counseling. Many local churches and charities offer or have connections to some counseling opportunities.

If he won't go to counseling, then you just need to be mindful of the road ahead.

Answer 6

Well, do you give him reason to doubt you? You say that he doesn't trust you, is there something that you do that he gets insecure about? I think that you're giving up on the realtionship a little too quick. If you really cared about him and love him, you'll try to find other ways to help your relationship. Both of you need to talk, you need to tell him how you truely feel about the situation. BUT if you just feel like the feelings are there anymore, then pack up and leave.

Answer 7

I think you should explain this to him if possible. It seems like you two aren't communicating very well. He's lost respect for you and vice versa. It's very difficult to gain respect after you lost it but maybe if you're not comfortable talking in person and you start to fight too much you could write each other letters or talk over instant messenger to get your feelings across. This sounds odd but sometimes it works. I don't think you should break up yet. Don't give up. You loved him once so it's possible to do it again. You've invested too much time to just give up.

Answer 8

well dear i been married 22years and i some times want to leave came d.....close to it to . all my husband does is B........all the time none stop i never do any thing right .i get tired of it to when he starts bi.......ing just walk a way do what you want to do do n,t fight back with him this is what he wants you to do . once he relizes you well not fight with him over dum **** he well stop . you have a life just be cause he is un happy with him self that don,t mean you have to be un happy you do what makes you happy stop trying so hard to make him happy you just wasting time doing this .i just do what i want and i tell him to shut the f up i don,t want to hear it and go to a nother room now i,m not saying this work for you .but find a way that he well relize you don,t want to come home to his bitching every day hey they all ways try to put their foot down on us ya right . well i just turn the table on him and he don,t like it well i say to bad , good luck hon hope every thing works out for ya

Answer 9

Just go if you think it's the best way and you both can't work it out. Doesn't have to be that way but if it's make your life missarable ...just go girl.

Trust is a base of relationship and then love.
Sometime the relationship works very well the way you wanted to be but sometime failed.

Good luck
and a lot of hugs

Answer 10

Are you asking a question? Sounds to me like you are doing the right thing. Hate to see a relationship die like this... especially after you've invested a lot of your life into it.... but at least you don't have kids and that's a good thing for you. Sounds like this guy isn't mature enough to be a good dad and husband.

Good luck to you!