Do you see something wrong with this ?

Question

my fiance never really spends any time with me , and doesn't like to talk to me . but he seems overly happy when he says he's going to a strip club , he says he likes to look at them . he also looks at porn on the computer somewhere along the lines of 5 hours a day . when i come into the room though he clicks out of it real fast. i keep telling him that its not the porn that bothers me , but the fact that he closes it looks like he's hiding something a million times worse. anyway ... for some reason i become enraged inside when i can see that he enjoys looking at other girls ( in strip clubs ) over me ( not to sound conceited here, but i'm not ugly ) . its not the fact that he's looking at them, but the fact that he would rather see them than be with me , that bothers me so much . i know that every guy on earth goes to strip clubs and looks at porn for hours a day ( so he tells me ) .. so knowing that, is it actually me that needs to grow up and get over it ? i need some advice thnx

Answer 1

Do you think this is going to change when you marry him? If he has no time, and no desire for you now, do you think it will get better after you get married? It will ONLY get lots worse then. You need to re-think marriage! You're fooling yourself!!

Answer 2

Okay- first of all not all guys do what your guys is doing. My man has no need for strip clubs, in fact, I wanted to go to a strip club once (with females only) and I basically had to drag him into it. And if he watches porn it's always with me to get more in the mood sometimes. If he is hiding something I would be worried that it might me child pornography and not only can that be traced back to your computer but you both could go to jail for it. Plus if it is children he should be sent straight to jail. What does he say when you ask him why he quickly exits out of it? If it's like this now then it'll only get worse in the end. Move on from him - life is so short why are women constantly trying to fix a man that is already broke. If you're "not bad looking" then find someone that appreciates you.

Answer 3

From reading that, He has a serious problem. He needs to seek counseling before Its gets further out of hand. Also, It sounds like he may not want to marry you so I would ask him about getting help otherwise, It'll get worse and before you know It, the relationship could end. He's also wrong, not all men go to strip clubs or watch porn for hours on end. I know quite a few men who do not watch porn nor would step foot Into a strip club.

Answer 4

My huby doesn't go to strip clubs or look at porn all day. He used to have a porn habit but got into the word of God and kicked the habit. He's been good for about 4 months now. When he did look at porn it wasn't all day. just bits here and there and when he realized how upset it made me(i done agree with it period) and that he would loose me and our kids over it, He quit. It was just as simple as neither of us wanted our son to have that habit or our daughter to have the trouble of feeling like she needs to look like a magazine. Plus to look on a woman in lust is as though they had already committed the act. If a man wants something else long enough he will go after it. I gave my man the ultimatum, a bunch of whores who didnt care about him and would never want him or a devoted woman who has never been with anyone other than him in any way, (we were both virgins on our wedding night and he was my first everything). Needless to say he chose me and the kids. He says the word of God and a book called Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker with Mike Yorkey helped him. Maybe it can help you too.

Answer 5

Yeah, I see a problem with it. They say it's just porn but strip clubs. I have always told my husband if you looking up that kinda of stuff I must not be good enough for you. If your not even married yet I hate to see it but I can only see things going down the wrong hill. You must have communication in any relationship. If he's doing this and he knows your aware he might be doing things you aren't aware. Be very careful you don't want to get hurt when you can prevent something. Yes, it may be hard but you know what is right.

Answer 6

Hm...if i were you, i would be somewhat depressed, but i'm not old enough to have a fiance.

Anyways..you should try talking to him, and ask him why he would look at those girls, and not you. I personally think he might look at those girls because he's seen you a billion times, and he wants something "fresh and new". If he's like that, you could strip for him, but i don't think you'd want to.

No, every woman would be bothered if they're husband or fiance or boyfriend looked at nude girls, and went to strip clubs. You aren't the only one who is bothered, there's other people. Well, just talk to him.

He may have a problem, though, if it's non-stop.

Hopee i helped :)

Or fight fire w/ fire. You look at men. Make them stare at you..

[don't really advise that though ^^]

Answer 7

Every man doesn't go to strip clubs and look at porn 5 hrs a day. They do look, they can't help it, but 5 hours a day is a big problem - it sounds like all his free time is taken up by looking at porn instead of interacting with real people, like you. He has a problem. Stay with him & you'll be an "internet widow."

Answer 8

Honey- I know you will say you love him - but take a look at all of the signs that are right in front of you. He is the one that doesn't spend time or talk with you. He likes strip clubs. Are these things that you really want to live with? You are not the one that has to grow up and get over it - he needs to. He is letting you know that he is going to do what he wants to without compromising now and when you are married. He is not ready to be married and I hope you do not make a mistake that you are going to regret for the rest of your life. You deserve to be with a man who pays attention to you. Yes - he has the right to go out with his friends or spend time alone but this is ridiculous. Please open your eyes now and do not accept what you do not want because it will only get worse. Save yourself some heartache.

Answer 9

Not every guy goes to strip clubs and looks at porn for hours a day. It sounds like he may be addicted to porn.
Realistically, many guys look at porn occasionally, but for hours on a daily basis is a little bit extreme. He may have a problem.

Answer 10

Trust me - not every men like to look at porn and go to strip clubs. (Some only likes to admire themselves at the mirror and say "you're one handsome guy").

Anyway, I agree with you that you need to grow up. By growing up, I mean, get a good grip of your own life. He is obviously using you. Move on. If you're not happy, it's better to end it now or be unhappy the rest of your life.

It's like a baggage, let go of it now. Not unless you want to drag it forever and keep you from living the life you really wanted. It will be hard, but you'll become a better person - trust me.

Answer 11

If he doesn't spend any time with you or like to talk to you, how the hell did he become your fiance? Not all the guys watch porn for hours (!!!), that's not normal. They like strip clubs, nothing wrong with it, but preferring it over you is not okay. Yes, I see everything's wrong with this. I'm not telling you what to do, but if I were you, I'd find some normal guy.