why do we stop doing sex?

Question

i am a wife and mother for two kids i am 35 and i love my husband but i lost interest in sex with him i always imagin myself with onother men , but i do love my husband and respect him but our relation is turned to be like friends brothers , i dont know . is that could be a reason to separate

Answer 1

Fantasies about other men, but continue to make LOVE to your husband. Become his girlfriend again, the fantasies will go away.

Answer 2

This may sound like a cheap answer, but I assure you it is the best advice you'll get here: go to a marriage counselor. There is a lot of missing information in your story, and rightfully so. Everyone's circumstances are different. An objective professional can help you and your husband identify your real problems and formulate strategies to deal with these problems. It is silly to throw away a marriage, especially with kids, just because you're bored and want sex. What does that teach your children? There may be some simple solutions to this. A successful wedding takes work and sacrifice, but it does not have to mean misery. Talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel. Then ask him to go to a marriage counselor with you. If he won't go, then go yourself. Whatever happens, it will really open your eyes.

Answer 3

You need to remember why you got together in the first place.Does your husband love you and show his appreciation? If not then it sounds like you feel neglected. I know this will sound silly but if you want to work things uot with your man you both need to have a talk. Why don't you write him a note and explain your feelings or have a friend look after your children for a couple of hours and you and your man can discuss your future? You and your man need quality time babe!!! lol x x

Answer 4

No, that is not a reason to separate, and it is really selfish of you to even consider it. What about the children? For goodness sakes, consider the children! What you guys need to do is spice things up. That is the question to ask here. You will get an explosion of fun recommendations! Remember what you promised the father of your children when you married him. Keep your word. Your sex life can be fixed in any number of ways. And they are all fun!

Answer 5

No it is not a reason to separate, but it is a reason to re-kindle the romance that you both once shared. Being friends is great, but for a marriage to last, sometimes you have to get back to what "lights your fire!" Maybe you guys need a vacation without the kids, such as a weekend at a resort or spa. Think about and good luck.

Answer 6

That is no reason to separate! There are just so many times you can ride any roller coaster and still find it interesting. It is a human thing to wonder about other pleasures, but it can cause the death of a marriage to give in to them. The most important thing that holds a marriage together is friendship, especially after the sexual excitement dies down. I would suggest you two talk about it honestly, and it clear the other persons enjoyment is still very important, but don't be afraid to admit to being human.

Answer 7

This happens to men and women at some point in there
life, if it stays in your imagination it cant do you no harm,
if we knew why you lost interest you may have got some
better answers, as its you that has lost interest, the best
bet would just be to sit down and have a chat, you may find
out, he may be feeling the same, but with out talking about
these things, imagination, can lead to temptation, and
temptation, can lead to a load of problems.
Have a chat.
Mark

Answer 8

You have discovered marriage. Everyone goes through that. Now you know why there are people called swingers. People in your state divorce a lot since they are at a friends only stage. Swingers have a divorce rate of about 10%. There is a reason for that.

Answer 9

Its really hard isint it when the spark goes, its then very difficult to get it back again. We get too comfortable with each other and become in tune with family and home, quite forgetting the way it was at the begining of a relationship... I suggest that you try and make yourself feel sexy and desirable again.. make the effort not to look nice but really sexy and hot.. if you look this way you will feel more like being alive again,, think of how it used to be,, if you got that spark in your eye and a twinkle of devilment about you... he will begin to get the hots for you,, plus the more you have sex , the more you will want it,, xxx ps. learn how to pleasure your self more often, get the feel for it again,,, go on, be a devil woman .. lol xxx

Answer 10

It sounds like you may have 'Mommy loses interest in sex because her hormones told her to' syndrome.
Many women with young children temporarily lose interest in sex. It may even last a few years, sometimes longer.
A woman's hormones change when she has a baby, and her body tells her to nuture the child, not make more children. These are actual brain chemicals in the mother that ensure the survival of our children. We can't stop it from happening.

Unfortunately, many men do not understand this. Men are hard-wired in their brains to procreate, procreate, procreate...of course, to ensure the survival of the human species. They do not understand "loss of interest in sex" and many men take it personally when their wives lose interest in sex, after having children.
When will men understand that it is NOT ABOUT THEM, when their wives don't feel like having sex??

Also, busy lives as mothers taking care of young children, working, and taking care of the home doesn't leave much energy for sex...even when she could be 'in the mood'.

This is temporary for you. You probably are fantasizing about other men because who doesn't fantasize about a life other than their own when they are in your situation? Don't worry about the fantasys. Everyone dreams of a life more fabulous than their own... it does not mean that you want to cheat.

Your sex drive should return. If it doesn't and/or this is causing you a lot of trouble, talk to your Gyn Dr. for solutions.

Good luck!

Answer 11

Sex isn't everything, but it can seriously strain a relationship. Try new things, dress up, whatever it takes to start a spark. The more sex you have, the more you want it, so even if you have to semi-force yourself to have it the first time, it gets easier with sex on a regular basis. Don't let this issue destroy your marriage.