What can I do about my lazy wife?

Question

I've talked to her and finally just started doing everything myself. I'm tired of it! She does nothing but clean the cat box. I do everything - EVERYTHING else. What to do?

Answer 1

Put her up for sale on E-Bay!

Answer 2

How would you answer this question if the roles were reversed? I am the wife and I do EVERYTHING!! Well..we don't have a cat so I don't empty the box, but I do EVERYTHING else. He is all about TV and that is it. I feel it should be a 50-50 street especially when there are children involved. If one of the parties stays at home and does not work, then I feel it is different. Otherwise, 50-50. You need to tell her that you are tired of doing it all. She needs to start being in the marriage or you are getting out of the marriage. That is where I am at. good luck and feel free to e-mail if you want to talk with someone who is in the same boat.

Answer 3

Sounds like she might be in a depression. And if its severe she will need professional help.

But if its not severe you might be able to help her work through it.

Try the positive approach. Instead of pointing out all the things she isn't doing. Try pointing out how well she cleans the cat box. Or how much you love the way she wears her hair. Im sure you can find something positive to say. Once she just feels better about herself even just a little, her ambition will come back.

Answer 4

How long have you had this arrangement? Does she work outside of the home?

When I worked full time, outside of the home, my husband and I split the house work 50/50. We have very open lines of communication, and make sure we are both happy with the way things are on a continuing basis. We respect each other, and the duties around the house.

I now stay home. Again, we talked about it, and are both happy with the arrangement. I know if he ever feels too much pressure being the only income that I will go back to work. I view it as my job to keep a clean home, grocery shop, make dinner etc. Our home and family is now my full time job. However, he still helps around the house when I’ve reached my limit and need a break. Again, it comes down to communication and respect for each other. By the way, he NEVER says I do not work, he knows that my job may not bring in a pay check, but is just as important and as stressful as his job.

You and your wife should go to couple’s counseling. You need to learn to communicate with each other. Good luck!

Answer 5

come up with an understanding of what you should do around the house and what she needs to do. This is not the 1800's it takes to now to help with kids, cleaning, working, paying bills, and so on. Sit and talk to her about how lazy you think she is and tell her she needs to change because it is not working. As far as the cat box she may feel it's her responsibility and not ting else is. The key is talking come to an understanding with her. P.S she needs to act her age, get up and do what needs to be done. Good Luck.

Answer 6

If she's always been like this, then there is probably little hope for change. If it just started recently, she could be depressed. The only thing that ever worked with my husband when he didn't help around the house was tell him that I was going on strike for a couple of days and wasn't going to clean up anything. He liked eating on clean dishes so......he finally helped out.

Answer 7

Ok im going to tell you the truth here, and remember the truth ususally hurts- YOU cant do ANYTHING. Sorry,but thats just the way it is,ppl are who they are and thats it,what you are asking for is a miracle,like a woman who wants to change her cheating husband-Let me tell you something,lazy people are SELFISH and they make everyone elses life harder-It is quite rare to see a lazy selfish person turn into a productive person,you can either accept that this is her and love her anyways, or your realationship is doomed-by the way I hardly think that a lazy woman could be a good mother,mothering is a VERY demanding job. None of this was to offend you,hope you dont feel bad.

Answer 8

One sign of depression is lacking an interest in your own care or the care of your surroundings - could your wife be suffering from depression ? If this is the case a good doctor and some medication will change the situation quickly. If you've tried to talk to her and don't believe that it could be depression and it hasn't improved then you need to decide if you are going to continue to live this way or you feel it's necessary to leave. Have you thought about hiring a cleaning service for like once a week or a few times a month? Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 9

IF what you say is true and you've talked with her about your expectations and your unhappiness with her noncompliance and IF you're truly serious and you are certain that this is unacceptable and intolerable in your life... then you need to issue an ultimatum.
IF she doesn't grow up and start being responsible and sharing the load .. then you're packing up, moving out and filing for divorce.
I can assure you that if she's like this now it may NEVER get better.
Hopefully you don't have kids with her right now, that will only add to YOUR responsibilities because she won't take care of them as they need to be cared for either.

Answer 10

Try not doing anything but the barest essentials for a week or two, then when she can't hear you, invite her best friend over for tea or coffee some time.If she's got an ounce of shame in her, this should embarrass her big time. You can still help with things, but you are being taken for a ride !

Answer 11

If it were me and someone else was willing to clean the cat box, I'd shut up and do everything else.