How many real men out there..........?

Question

who feel like they treat their wives/girlfriends with extreme respect and love, feel like we only get backlash as if we do everything wrong all the time in their eyes. Are you tired of it? How do you deal with it? Give me some good, not rude, suggestions because keep in mind I love my wife and I want to know if its me or not?

Answer 1

Very few, only a "hand full"

Answer 2

The downward spiral...

Do the rules change constantly? Probably.

Have you compromised to the point that it's not a compromise but you making concessions and still, that doesn't do any good?
The rules get changed again...

You can get so tired of it and try to hard that when you look around finally, you realize you're the only one trying.

I know you love her but you may have to accept that there is nothing you can do about why she has turned into Mrs. Discontent.

Unless she is willing to communicate and make real changes and true compromises, it may be time to accept that the person you are with is no longer the person you married and that you won't be seeing that person again.

She'll try to tell you it is you, all you, but don't buy it. People like to yak about everything is 50-50 even in a breakup, but that myth doesn't take into account the reasons people broke up. if one person was trying to hold things together, and the other is being unreasonable, is it really 50-50? Probably not.

I wish I could say that I believe you two can make things work together. I do hope you two can work things out. If not, best of luck to you.

Answer 3

I deal with the same thing every day and have every day for the last 8 yrs. I go to work-I'm cheating. A girl talks to me-i'm cheating. I brush my teeth before I go anywhere-I'm cheating. I go to the store without my wife-I'm cheating. I'm on the cpu without her around-I'm looking for someone to cheat with. Then I'm constantly questioned as to why I never seem happy and why I don't talk to my wife and treat her with the respect I did when we first married. Man it sucks! I love my wife to death but a person can only take so much. The problem with her is that she was cheated on by every single guy she has ever been with, now I'm trying to treat her right but she can't believe it. I just keep on doing right and hope one day she'll come around and realize I'm not a scumbag like all those other guys. Hopefully that will happen soon cuz I don't know how much more I can take.

Answer 4

Being a man is judging yourself with your own eyes and not that of your wife's.
She is free to have her opinion, but don't bend over backwards to try and make her happy.
She married you because she loved who you are, NOT what she can turn you into.
Men who run around trying to make their wives happy are the first to lose the respect of their wives.
Your wife wants to be with her equal, not a servant she can push around.
Stand up for yourself and tell her flat out that she may like XYZ her way, but you don't agree and you also don't see any reason to change your opinion to match hers.
Remember you have every right to not agree and your wife might even respect you more for it.

Answer 5

I am a female, so I will try to give to you from my perspective.

I have found through my own self discovery that I will often play the blame game when it's something that I am not sure of about myself. It is always easier to blame someone else, especially some one we're close to, rather than fixing the problem with in ourselves.
Some examples of this would be You don't love me.... meaning I don't feel capable of your love. You don't do romantic things for me....You're sweet and you try, but what I really wanted was flowers. Do you see what I mean here?
Often women have a hard time talking about what we really want because we've been told so long not to ask for things....greedy women get no where.... we have been told our feelings are wrong...men don't like needy women, etc.
If you're wife has a past of abusive relationships, bad relationships, or a bad childhood, these would come more into play. Past emotions and hurts can be brought forward into every relationship we encounter until the pain we feel is finally forgiven.
Also,what you define as love and respect may be different than her own thoughts on it. It's like if you believe a hamburger tastes best with the works, and she just likes pickles and lettuce. Different opinions and ideas on love, respect and romance can either make or break the relationship. She may find it loving if you buy her something, or give her a foot massage, whereas you may find it loving to be her supporter. I'm sure you'll be able to fill the blanks in more on this one.
Another thought to consider is whether your wife is happy in her life. I'm not talking about whether she is smiley, or giddy, but truly happy. Is she doing something she enjoys? Is she living up to her potential? Does she surround herself with friends and family and those she loves? Does she do the things she loves? Does she get times of solitude to do personal discovery, etc. If you've answered no to any of these, they could be possible hinders as to what is truly bothering her.
In my beliefs, it is usually nothing to do with the man (or woman if the case is altered) Any hurt and anger you hold towards someone, comes from within and stems from what you're dealing with. It's not the partner, or the job etc... but you're own feelings of shortcomings.
My suggestion to you is to talk to her about it. Help her find her voice, and be supportive, and listen... really listen.

Also, you can check out these books for her as well.

Simple Abundance and Something More, both by Sarah Ban Breathnach...both are great reads and have a lot of helpful information in them about discovering yourself and living up to your potential.

I too have been one of these women, and it has taken me a divorce, a self discovery and a new relationship to finally see how the problem wasn't the men, but rather with myself, and how I wanted ot be loved. Now I'm in a great relationship with a man who encourages me to speak about my feelings and to spread my wings and soar. And soaring I am.

Hope this helps you understand our complexities!!

Answer 6

My wife treats me with respect as i do her. i love my wife more than life itself and i wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world. my wife says she appreciates every thing i do. i don't get any backlash , we know that we both will be wrong about something more than once. we just except and admit it. there is nothing wrong with being wrong. nobody is wrong all the time.

Answer 7

No buddy it happens sometimes.The key is communication if she gets on you about something like that try to tell her calmly that you were doing it for her,to help her because you love her,not because you trying to make a bigger problem.And see what happens,but be calm and nice about it.If that dosent work id recommend some counseling because there has to be a reason for her to just be doing that when your just trying to help.

Answer 8

Being a real man is just that, despite what she might or might not be doing. Don't let that change the man that you are. Play your part in the marriage. To the end.