How do we brake up after 6 years?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years, since high school. He's the only one I have ever dated. Since we started dating he knew I didn't love him but I had to learn. Everytime I try and brake up he cries, and begs that I don't leave him. He always comes up with excuses like your just going through a phase. How do I let him know that I don't want to be with him anymore?

Answer 1

Time for the tough love. Dump him, move on, and don't look back. Ignore him when he cries and begs. You know, after six years, that the excuses are just excuses. There are no phases going on. He's spineless. Tell him you are dumping him, explain why, and move on. Don't talk to him after that. Don't answer his calls or emails or texts. If he keeps calling you and bugging you, warn him once, and then call the cops. I am being totally serious here, too. You will be doing HIM a favor. He has an unhealthy obsession with you and he needs to learn how to strike out on his own. He's a man now. Time for him to learn how to act like one. It is also time for you to find your own happiness. Good luck!

Answer 2

Your situation reminds me of mine, long ago. I dated my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years-from the time I was a sophmore until I was in college. I tried breaking up with him several times, and the same drama would unfold. In looking back, it was quite dysfunctional. The final break up stuck only because I did it "cold turkey". I stopped answering his phone calls, I did not return his calls, etc. Even then, he would find excuses to stay in touch with my family. Finally, the excuses wore out and his attempts at staying connected to me stopped. The fact that I had moved about 50 miles away for my last 2 years of college also helped, so if there's any possible way you can move, I highly recommend it. But definitely, "cold turkey", baby, and stay strong!

Answer 3

You have to be strong, and firm with him.

A sudden and complete break could be the easiest, but here is another alternative. Arrange for the two of you to take a break, "because you need space". There is no contact during the break. Make it a short break if you have to (even a day). Then a week later, make it a longer break. If you need more breaks, make each one longer. Explain to him that you are helping him learn to be strong, and this process will eventually result in a complete separation.

Also, talk to his friends, tell them that he needs their support, because you are serious about moving on.

He really needs a woman who wants him, appreciates him, and cares about him. So leaving him is the best thing for you to do.

Answer 4

If he doesn't let you talk because he starts crying right away, write him a letter and tell him this relationship is not healthy for either one, and you can number the reasons why; he plays victim and give you excuses making you feel sorry and no relationship should be base on any other feeling than love.
Be firm, tell him you can only see him as a friend (if you still want to be his friend), but this definitely has to end.

Answer 5

You say what you mean and then let your actions prove that you mean it.

He is going to cry. He is going to feel bad. If you have any human compassion, you're not going to enjoy making someone feel that way.

Right now "being with him" benefits you in some way more than "not being with him" or you'd already be gone. Search yourself to learn why that is so. Is the security of being with him better than being alone? Do you find yourself wanting a change, wanting to see what other people are like, but at the same time, wanting to know he's going to be there? Deep down, if you're totally, bluntly honest with yourself, do you long for change and yet fear it at the same time?

It's not awful to have these feelings; feelings are what they are. What determines what kind of person you are is what you do with them. It's selfish to string someone along when you don't want to be with them, to say one thing with your mouth and then give them false hope with your actions.

Answer 6

I'm in a similar situation but me and my girl been together 8 years.... since i was 15 ans she was 14.... and i now gotta chose to throw it away for her faults. Sit him down and tell him deep feelings.. make it catch his attention. Or do like my sister, just move to another town and leave him right there where u last see him...

Answer 7

just say that famous quote "it's not you, it is me".

that way you don't damage his ego...

or you could brake it to him hard and say i don't like to be with you anymore but then again he could take it wrong and contempt you forever. And writing a letter is not a respectfull way to do it, it is actually a cowards way out.

After six years it is not going to be easy even to be friends after you brake up. just give it some time and it will resolve it's self.

Good Luck

Answer 8

Get a back bone and just say that it is over and leave! You have been dating someone for 6 years and you don't even like them?! Forget about his feelings and think about yourself. Let him cry and beg. Too bad. Just do it.

Answer 9

thats a long list of excuses to keep you there for so long ... If you dont want to be with him anymore you have to tell him. You owe it to both of you not to waste anymore of your time with the wrong person. But do tell him it isnt that you want to cut him out of your life completely. (if you dont that is). And emphesize you'd like to remain good friends. And I dont mean just say it, I think you should really do it. After 6 years he cant be all that bad of a friend to hang out with. It doesnt have to stop even if you arent 'in love' with him.
Good Luck ;)

Answer 10

This happened to me. You just have to be strong and end it. Leave the room, house, whatever. Ignore phone calls and all communication. He'll eventually get the point. I know it's hard, but you can do it. You know what's best for you - he doesn't. Good luck!