Help! I need some advice. I have been riding/showing horses for 14 years. I am 20 years old and just graduated in May from a community college with my AA. On Saturday I was offered a full scholarship for DE State University if I come and join their NCAA equestrian team. I love horses, and am flattered by the scholarship. However; I just committed to moving in with my boyfriend in the middle of July. It is all he talks about and he is so excited. The college would be 2 hours away from where he lives, but I just don't know what to do. Although I can't wait about moving in with him, I can also picture myself on this equestrian team where they show all over the country. I just don't know what to do!! Any advice is appreciated....
2007-06-27 03:40:51 · 9 answers · asked by MmichelleM 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Take the opportunity and go for it! If he really cares you will survive the distance. You are both too young to restrict life long ambitions for a lover who may not last as long as the 2 years at college. I have seen this happen many many times and there is always regret later. Live life, be happy, be safe and have fun!
2007-06-27 03:53:35 · answer #1 · answered by steveheremd 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend you take the scholarship and complete your education now. This is a wonderful opportunity that probably won't come again down the road. Do the long distance thing for a while. 2 hours really isn't that far away. When I first moved out of my parents house, I moved nearly 3 hours away. It was such an adjustment that nearly every weekend, I made the trip home and it was so worth it. Just think about it, every relationship requires some sacrifices, some compromises, and always a whole lot of work. If you and your boyfriend really love each other, he will support your decision and will try to make the relationship work, no matter the obstacles.
2007-06-27 12:12:23 · answer #2 · answered by Erin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was your age (25 years ago) I faced a similar situation.
I couldn't imagine going away to college 6 hours away and leaving my boyfriend/fiance. I gave it all up and got married to him instead. We had 15 years, most of it good. With the advantage of 25 years' hindsight, I realize had he valued me as much as I valued him, he would have encouraged me to go and modified HIS life to support me in the venture.
I just couldn't picture myself without him. Sure, I have 3 great kids and 2 adorable grandsons, but I still wonder "what if."
It's interesting that you use "committed" in a sentence about "moving in" without the committment of marriage. Are you looking for a husband in this boyfriend? If you are, why settle for less? Many times women look at living together as a step towards marriage. Men, on the other hand, not so much. My husband and many other guys I know say it's an "instead of" in their mind.
You will have an entirely different outlook in 2 years, in 4 years, than you do now. Take the scholarship and go. He will either love you enough to get through it and grow with you, or he will move on. If he moves on, know that he probably would have done that eventually anyway.
What's a few years in the scope of forever? And if he's not forever, what's a temporary boyfriend worth compared to an opportunity like this?
2007-06-27 10:54:42 · answer #3 · answered by cnsdubie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER let a boy decide what you are going to do in your life. If he loves you, he will follow you knowing what a wonderful opportunity you have going for you. You sound like you a lot of exciting things coming up and I wouldn't give those up for anyone, you have worked hard and deserve this!
If you were married and it was about job transfers or something maybe you two could talk and over and consider the options but you are a young girl that has a lot of life in front of you. Imagine how you would feel if you broke up and you could no longer get that chance to go to DE on a FULL SCHOLARSHIP non the less. Go and enjoy it!
But that's just my opinion, think for yourself about what you want in your life and who you want in your life and let yahoo answers merely be a guideline of different options.
Good Luck!
2007-06-27 10:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by capoeirista 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not an easy decision to make. But you need to consider the long-term ramifications of your decision. Having a full scholarship means you will not have to take out loans, etc. to pay for the rest of your education. You will have more experience on a level that not many people can do.
If your boyfriend truly wants the best for you, he will understand and try and make the situation work. He has to understand that you are only 2 hours away and it is a short drive.
2007-06-27 10:46:58 · answer #5 · answered by Frances D 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Okay, so the same thing happened to me...I DID leave my boyfriend and went to college. I got my degree and had a great time. We met up a year after I graduated and he is now my husband and we have a little boy. If you two are going to try to make the relationship work through college, then make sure you both put 100% into it. If you break up, you never know what the future can hold...you may meet up later on and get married!!
No man is worth your future.....
2007-06-27 10:45:01 · answer #6 · answered by dizzybee15 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a big opportunity. You are only 20 and there is plenty of time for a relationship; if he really loves you, he'll be supportive and wait for you. Two hours is not that far away, so you'll be able to visit frequently. I say go for the scholarship!
2007-06-27 10:44:50 · answer #7 · answered by raspberrytart 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Take the scholarship. Pursue your dream.
Moving in with your boyfriend is such a terrible idea anyway.
2007-06-27 10:48:18 · answer #8 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go for it becoz if not you'll resent him. put yourself first before you settle down (you'll never be first again)
can't he move with you? won't he wait for you? 2 hrs isn't so far. my husband waited a year and a half on the other side of the world...this is your time.
2007-06-27 11:22:19 · answer #9 · answered by jenush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋