Why do some married women seem lost when their husbands are out of town?

Question

I noticed that some married women seem lost when their husbands are out of town. Their whole routine changes and they don't know what to do with themself.

Then, I look at myself. I am divorced and my daughter does not live with me.

I have had to adjust to being alone and its been hard at at times.

Are married women better off because they have a companion to depend on for support?

I really don't talk to anyone about my internal thoughts and feelings. Maybe I am missing out on something.

Answer 1

Are married women better off because they have a companion to depend on for support?

NO!

some married women are dependent on their spouse. nothing wrong with that. however.....

i am not married and i am very independent because i support myself. i am not lost when anyone comes or goes. i think if you are not married you have to naturally become more independent because you do everything yourself. there is no one there to constantly be your back bone.

Answer 2

This is not true at all. I miss my DH when he is gone but I am able to do my own thing and I enjoy the time alone. My sister's husband is gone 2 months at a time and she takes care of everything while he is gone and has 2 kids. That is what is great about being a woman, we are very loving and great companions but at the same time, we can be strong when we know we have to.

Everyone needs some support sometimes. If you are feeling lonely, turn to your best friends and family for support. They are there for you.

Answer 3

I would hope you would find some women friends to talk to about your internal thoughts and feelings as stuffing them will only cause them to come out later in an inappropriate manner (anger outbursts over something trivial).

When you first got divorced, I imagine you missed your husband as well, and it changed your routine.

You don't have to have a man to feel complete, but having some close, trusted friends is very necessary.

Open up to someone you trust.

Answer 4

i think ur taking it the wrong way. u dont need to be married or have a boyfriend to have that companion. all u need is a good friend or family member to support u and be there and talk to u about ur inner thoughts and is some where down the line u do get married it will be something different. keep ur head up and u'll be ok.

Answer 5

My husband goes out of town a lot for business and it sucks. We have a 5 1/2 yr old and I am also pregnant w/ our 2nd child. Sometimes I am alone all week while he is gone if our daughter is gone to spend the week w/ family, and that's when I get lonely! But when it's me and her I really enjoy that time w/ just her. I guess everyone is different.

Answer 6

I know that when my husband is out of town it feels weird. But I keep going doing the same things if he was here. Some women probably are that depended on their spouse. It has been rough for me sometimes when he is not here.

Answer 7

Many married people lose a sense of "SELF" after years of being married. What happens is they see themselves as only a part of a couple, so the sense of "loss" as you put it is really a feeling of being incomplete.

I do highly recommend to socialize more because the stronger and individual the strong the couple they make.

Answer 8

Some women are very needy and cling to their husbands. Perhaps some women just have this type of personality or perhaps, they married young and have always had a man beside them and have never had to take care of themselves.

I supported myself and lived on my own for 10 years before meeting my husband. I'm just not the needy personality and I don't mind it when he has to travel b/c of his job. It's nice to have some alone time to focus on myself and our house.

To each his/her own though.

Answer 9

I can actually answer this from TWO sides of the story.

I am married myself and if my husband left town I would be a WRECK! Not that I CANT do it on my own.. but that I really dont WANT to! I have 2 toddlers at home who MISS him ALL THE TIME and if he was gone for a while... GOD would I have a headache on my hands. PLUS, he shares in the responsibilities of not only the children, but the chores, house, and of course ME! LOL

I know that since I am a stay at home mom.. the ONLY "adult" conversation that I get on a regular basis is my husband and I look forward to him getting home from work EVERY DAY! I even went through a point in time where I would get extremely agitated if he wanted to go out w/ his buddies at night and leave me home alone. I would resent the fact that he got to go out and have fun while I was stuck at home AGAIN w/ the kids! But I got over it, I realized that he works HARD and DESERVES some time to himself. And its not like its a "normal" thing.. he goes out MAYBE once a week (if that!).

Anyway.. back to the point... my husband is my best friend, my favorite person and a HUGE help w/ all the responsibilities of parenting, the house and all that stuff! So.. when/if he left to go out of town, I WOULD feel a bit "lost."

HOWEVER.... I wouldnt walk around like I didnt know what to do w/ myself! Hell, there is ENOUGH here to keep me busy for YEARS with the kids, the cleaning. The laundry ALONE would probably keep my tied up for about a week straight! LOL My hubby is just my "companion" and the person I CHOOSE to spend my time with and I simply MISS him when he is away!

NOW.. .onto the flip side. My mother raised me by herself. She worked LONG hours and really had to struggle for many years simply to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table! She was a STRONG, BRAVE and completely WONDERFUL woman! She is STILL my ROCK and the person that I look up to! If I could only be HALF the woman that she is.. I would be proud! She's the greatest mother and friend a girl could ever know!!

She did all of it ALONE w/out the help of a man (heck my dad didnt even pay child support!). She always SEEMED happy and content with her life... but yes, she did LONG for the companionship of a man in her life!

As I got older and we started talking adult to adult... she told me that having a man in her life would be NICE.. but its not NECESSARY! She could LIVE without a man.. but she would really like to have someone to grow old with! Luckily she has a GREAT man in her life now. They have been together for about 6 yrs (he's actually my best friend's father! LOL) and are talking about marriage!

So after 20 yrs of being single and doing it ALL by herself.. she FINALLY has a man to share herself with... although she was HAPPY the other way too!

In my opinion... you ARE missing out on that companionship and closeness that you get from a spouse (but you already knew that!)... BUT you CAN be HAPPY without it too! Its all in the way you CHOOSE to look at your life! After all, you have a WONDERFUL daughter who is probably your closest friend!

Another thing... I think that single parents are MUCH CLOSER to thier children (in the long run) then those who are married. I think its because thier children are the ONLY people that they KNOW they can depend on to ALWAYS be there for them! So the bond gets MUCH stronger! I know my moms and mine did! We are STILL VERY close (in fact I just got off the phone w/ her! LOL We talk AT LEAST 2-3 times a day, even NOW!!)

I hope that helped and I wasnt just babbling! LOL

Answer 10

you probably adjusted over a period of time, when a husband goes out of town its probably for a shorter time than it took you to adjust, so its natural they miss them, you also knew you had to rebuild a new life, they on the other hand, do not, they have to put their life with their husband into limbo till he comes back, its two different situations