hello, i want to leave my deadbeet husband, and i am saving up the money to do so,he is an a$$ whole and mentally and physically abusive towards me, and it is not good for my son. so, if i just up and leave to anothe rstae without telling him first, what will happen? what paperwork do i have to get to leave? i want to be in a, before he really knows that we are gone, if i serve him the papers while we in the same state he might do something crazy!! help me, i have got to get me and my son out of this realationship. what do i do????
2007-06-27 03:23:12 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't take your son to another state because he is not your personal property, but the child of both of yours.
You may be arrested and jailed if you do that. Haven't you ever seen missing children on milk cartons?
If you are afraid that your husband will attack you, please visit a woman's shelter to decide if that is the place for you, and talk to them, they will help you in many ways with your separation.
If after you leave you would like to sever the parental rights that your husband has with his son, then you are going to need proof that he has abused the child, not only you, and you are going to need a very good lawyer.
good luck, and be careful.
2007-06-27 03:29:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
First and foremost you need to go to the police if he is physically abusive and take proof (ie: pics etc cuz they can be difficult) but either way seek help. Go to your nearest church or shelter. But don't just leave to another state because by law he has rights as a Father even though he is a deadbeet. I know it sucks but I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with the law after all you are going through. Once you go to the police they will file a restraining order and he has to stay away from you. But please don't be ashamed to look for help. Do it for your son. He doesn't deserve to live in a house where his father has absolutely no respect for his mom. Do it for you. You deserve better! No one, no matter what anyone says, deserves to be abused. You are a strong woman you have just been strong in the wrong way. You've been strong to put up with all that garbage. Now be strong enough to take a stand and say no more! I'll be praying for you. God bless!
2007-06-27 04:10:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some states require the fathers permission to move his child to a different state. If he is physically abusive then you need to get out as soon as you can. Its not good for you and cant be good for the child. You might want to consult a lawyer and see what your options are. Let them know that you worry about the safety of you and your son. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-06-27 03:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by dirttrackgirl_77 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a legal mother you have right to bring your child with you when you leave your husband and in your case you should do it as soon as possible.many time report for abuse is not easy. The case and many time end up as family matter,and will alert your husband,he could take more traumatic action the best way is just go away first then plan other thing later.If your husband report the missing of you and his child then you can response to the police tell them where you are,your husband can only requst for hearing to ask you bring back the child..If you going to ask for divorce then the court will decide who has the custody right or both has.Mean while mother has the right to keep her child during the divorce procedure,unless you are not fit as a parent.But anyhow you need a lawer at time,there are many place can help you legally free you can looking for..Kidnapping case only fit in if one parent has no legal right and take the kid away.
2007-06-27 03:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by brother3 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no its not illegal to leave him ... if your not happy in the relationship you have the right to leave, if he is abusive physically you have the right to lock him up its the only way you will get away from him. you dont have to run away ,just report him ,listen i went trough the same thing.your son dosent have to see that.thats not good for your son .the way that i got out of the relationship that was abusive was by locking him up.i have and order of protection,for domestic violence ,even with the order of protection they will put you some where when he cant find you and your son . if you dont do anything about it he will end up hurting you or your son even death. if i was you report him to the police if he puts his hands on you.or your son .take matter serious.
2007-06-27 04:06:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
File a restraining order at the same time of the divorce papers . there may be a law keeping you from leaving the state. Check with an attorney.
2007-06-27 03:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not illegal.
Once you get enough money, you can just leave. The only paperwork you might need is you child's birth certificate. He may lie and tell you it's kidnapping or something like that, but you have every legal right to leave with your child if you want to.
2007-06-27 03:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by harold 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put the savings account in your own name. You don't need anyone's permission to leave an abusive relationship. You might want to talk to an attorney. You should keep a secret diary of the abuse.
2007-06-27 03:27:26 · answer #8 · answered by hottotrot1_usa 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes and go to a shelter for battered women to make it legal. They will help you find work and you can get some counseling too. Bravo, it take courage to do this but you know you are right to do this. You and your child deserve better. Once there, do not look back.
2007-06-27 03:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by SALSA 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You probably should get a lawyer and he will advise you want your rights are. I wouldn't recommend taking your son across state lines. It could hurt your case.
2007-06-27 03:31:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋