The marriage talk?How do you bring it up?

Question

The marriage talk how do you bring it up and what exactly do you cover in the conversation topic wise?My bf whom i love and i have wacky history but share a 9 yr old son together.I met the my sons father when i was 17 going on 18 and he was 16 going on 17 both of us were in our senior year.He was the bad boy from another town and i was the good girl who went to private school this caused all kinds of drama including the pregnancy kind we broke up twice the second time he left me for another girl.Then a year later he was looking for a fling the relationship w/ his gf was not at its best and i was lonley college student.This fling went on for 8 months it resulted in our now 9 yr old son.After my son was born we got engaged and tried to make it work for 1.5-2yrs without sucess.We still stayed in contact he saw our son ever now/again and he paid his child support relativley on time.We dated other people ect.during these years.Four years ago he anted more involvment with our son and we became friends again.Started dating again casually 1.5 later and have been together for last 2yrs.I am now 29 yrs old and he is 28 yrs old.He wants to bring up marriage talk?

I am super scared nervous ect!I like the way our relationship is and dont want to jinks anything.Plus my son is very happy with both mom and dad beeing undersame roof.

Answer 1

Seems like you both did some growing up. If you feel safe around him, and you trust him, and he feels the same about you, why not give it a try? Seems like there's always been a connection with you two aside from your son.

Answer 2

He want to talk marriage and you don't, is this what your are saying. If you have been together 2 yrs and I take it that you are sharing a home it so you have made a commitment to each other for 2 yrs. The only thing missing is the legal documents that says you are husband and wife. What makes you afraid to commit yourself to him? Sounds as if you should first have the talk with yourself, it will then be easy to have it with him. 1.) Do I love this man: 2.) Is this what I want to wake up to everyday?: 3.) If he had nothing would I still love him.?: 4.) Did/do I love him even at his worst?: 5.) Is he a good provider?: 5.) Has he continued to love me even at my worst?: Just a few questions to ask yourself. I am sure you can think of more. You get the ideal. If he meets with all marry the man.

Answer 3

It doesn't sound to me like you are ready to get married. The relationship has been traumatic at best and I'm guessing your reluctance is coming from the fear it will blow up again.

I would suggest you just continue living together for awhile and not get married. You both need to grow up and learn how to communicate first. You should also focus on what's best for your son - he might like you all living under one roof but a divorce will cause him more trauma, and that's exactly what will happen with your track record with this man until both of you make some serious changes.

Answer 4

Just ask him one day, casually, if he's thought about the two of you ever getting married. People today are SO afraid to just SAY things! What will it hurt you to know for sure if marriage is even on his radar? He could say yes, and that gets the idea in HIS head, too. Or he could say no, and you'll be able to plan based on that. If you want to be married, then you maybe shouldn't be with him. If you're ok with never marrying, then there's your answer.

You're both adults, pushing 30 years old. Just talk about it!

Answer 5

I don't want to scare you but it may be time to consider growing up and acting like adults for a change; at least before you reach the age when you apply for social security?

Answer 6

You have a child together and you still cannot communicate about marriage and other important things?? How does this happen, people? What a sad society we have become.

Answer 7

the word is communicationa nd what are your wants and for the future. just check it out and start from there