I'm a 20 year old guy in college. I met a girl that's one year older than me a few years back. I'm an engineer, and she's an artist. We actually considered dating at one point. But here's the catch: I hate her sense of friendship. To her, hanging out once a month is best friends. To me, that's an acquaintance! She's always "too busy" for me, and when we do meet up, she has a time limit. She's also 'forgotten' or 'double-booked' me multiple times. I'm very busy too, but I set my priorities so I can spend time with friends. I even took a 2 hour train ride (each way) to visit her at her college last year. She had the nerve to tell me she had work to do and that I had to leave by 2pm! She has never visited me at school...
Sorry about the rant, but she has really gotten on my nerves. Our "friendship" (which she thinks is just dandy, but to me is on the brink of collapse) has been nothing but a hassle to me. Any advice?
2007-06-27 02:04:58 · 10 answers · asked by bluedevil1642 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
The train ride wasn't spontaneous. Well, kind of, but I had told her the weekend prior that I would be coming.
2007-06-27 02:12:05 · update #1
You need to understand that you both have very different ideas as to what makes a good friendship. Seems you are doing all of the work here. Maybe it is high time you stepped out and made some new friends and put things on hold with her for a while.You seem like the kind of guy that most girls would very much like to have as a (friend) so do all of us ladys a favor and start making female friends soon ! I don't believe that dating her would work ...if as just friends she is too busy for you what would dating be like !!!!???The 2 hour train ride was not a complete loss...you learned that you should not do that again ! The very best of luck to you and I wish you 100's of new friends!
2007-06-27 03:20:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's still a friendship. Not a very good one, but that doesn't make it NOT a friendship. I think it is pretty obvious what you have to do. If you can deal with the kind of friendship she is offering, then fine. Keep going as you are. You've seen what you are getting. If you are not happy with that, then let her go and move on. I presume you've told her how you feel about this. What else is there?
2007-06-27 02:09:00 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say that what you have is just a mere friendship and nothing more. If you want something more, than I would suggest you go back out into the dating world. She has priorities set on her "friends" and social affairs and sorry friend you are only part of it when she feels it is convient for her. Good Luck my friend.
2007-06-27 02:57:52 · answer #3 · answered by daisy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the one putting all the energy into this friendship. Reclassify her as an acquaintance or colleague and if she wants to make the effort to see you, continue to see her as an acquaintance if it is convenient. She can call you her best friend if she wants.
2007-06-27 02:15:40 · answer #4 · answered by ninebadthings 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She obvisly is too busy for u. You should call her before you try to go see her agian just to make sure you are welcome. Try calling her once in a while to invite her over for the weekend. Hope this helps! Good Luck!
2007-06-27 02:10:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are u still around is clear she dont have time for you so look for another friend.if she want to be your friend when she see you dont call she will call and ask u what hapened and u will tell here why u didi this that if she want to be a good she must lern to make time for u good luck
2007-06-27 02:25:04 · answer #6 · answered by unnown 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wouldnt go any farther with her if thats how she acts.. i have gotten to know you.. and your great... but i guess she cant see that.. and its sad.. but you know how i feel about ya.. and she needs to make some time for you if she wants a chance of a friendship.. but just let things flow and it will end how its supposed to end.. your great.. dont ever forget that..
2007-06-27 03:30:38 · answer #7 · answered by Carrolyn <3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ditch her and find some real friends to you. Or stop being obseesive. Your choice.
2007-06-27 02:09:01 · answer #8 · answered by kaminokami2086 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll bet she has a whole lot of "best friends" that way....none of whom know each other. She sounds kind of goofy....and evasive.
2007-06-27 02:10:36 · answer #9 · answered by bradxschuman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should just accept that you are acquantances.
2007-06-27 02:19:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋