Recently, I had a job offer that was more money (25% + more)and promotion. Because of greed of getting more money than the original offer, I held back. Because of my mistake, the deal fell through and the employer hired someone else. This has been really bothering me. It has been nearly three months now and I can't get past this. I cannot even focus on my current job and my family. I don't know what to do. I feel like I missed out and it's bothering me beyond words. I have never felt like this before. Call it crazy, but I sometimes even get to tears. Help! How can I overcome this? How would you rank this in terms of a regretful life event? Thank you for your help.
2007-06-27 01:47:34 · 8 answers · asked by Hurting 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I am with you there!! my job sucks so bad that i cannot put it into words.. i am in pain from the moment i put my foot in that store until i leave and then again im in pain for another several hours!
think of your current position like this... you had a better opportunity that you missed.. you have a different job now... its not as good as the first.. but you still DO HAVE a job.. stay PRESENT .. dont think about the past.. PLAN for future.. find another job..
its easy to get emotionally attached to the fact that you missed that oppotunity.. but look at your current situation.. if there is slightest way to improve it .. take advantage of it.. take advantage of everything you can.
2007-06-27 01:53:48 · answer #1 · answered by reasons 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's rough, but it happens. Most people will have something like this happen to them, or worse. Had you accepted and found out later you could have gotten more, you'd be regretting that instead. Regardless, if you are having such a hard time dealing with this to the point where it is affecting your ability to work or be a good family guy, then it is definitely time to discuss this with your doctor. You may need some therapy or counseling to help you to cope. Whatever you do, know this: it is generally accepted that people will ask for more than originally offered. You didn't do anything wrong. If that company screwed you over this, a commonly and typically accepted step in the hiring process, imagine how they might have treated you had you taken the job. If they were that obtuse, you might be better off.
2007-06-27 01:59:01 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must let go of the idea that this was "the big opportunity". (Because that is all it is... an idea, a thought.) Let go of the idea that you've missed out on the only opportunity of changing your life for the better.
You can treat this experience any way you like. You can see it as a life lesson in not being "greedy". You can see it as your own inner sense of destiny guiding you away from a life you wouldn't really have found satisfaction in. (After all it may have been a job that would have forced you to give up time and energy you can give to your family.) You can see it as simply a misstep on your life path. Simply a missed opportunity, but not the only opportunity to come your way. OR you can "make" it a defining moment in your life that will forever haunt you with regret as your one big break that you screwed up.
The choice in how you perceive this situation is yours.
I can promise you this. If you CHOOSE that last option (make it into one of your big regrets), you will either a) make a mistake by letting fear guide you in making a decision in the next big opportunity that is coming your way OR b) keep you from seeing that opportunity when it presents itself.
****
"Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can't build on it; it's only for wallowing in."
-- Katherine Mansfield
New Zealand short story author (1888 - 1923)
2007-06-27 02:21:01 · answer #3 · answered by Shaman 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You fell for the classic mistake - believing what you see in films and television. Just because someone can do what you were trying to in a scripted play doesn't mean its going to happen in real life. The truth of the matter is everyone is replaceable; no one is indispensable.
Your ruse didn't work because there's a million more people out there that are just as qualified as you who would have gladly taken the job as offered (and apparently one did!)
You tried to portray yourself as more valuable; they saw only a trouble maker who would be difficult to deal with in the future.
Learn from this mistake; remember it next time. And you're right, you probably blew a good thing.
2007-06-27 02:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will need to forgive yourself for not being perfect.
If you got that one offer for a promotion and a big raise, you can get another. Keep looking around.
Meanwhile you have to keep doing the little things right - put in a full day's solid work, take care of your family, do something positive for the people in your family and work instead of sitting in self-pity,
If you're in a bad place, and you are, you need to keep moving forward - don't just sit there.
You can do it.
2007-06-27 02:01:24 · answer #5 · answered by Richard of Fort Bend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of it as a lesson. But don't let this get you down so badly that you eventually lose the job you have now. Maybe the job wasn't for you... maybe a better one is on its way. Try to think positive... and as the other poster said be happy you at least have a job.
2007-06-27 01:57:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry about that. Try learning from that mistake and move on. If you cant move on, engage a counsellor. Dont just take it litely
2007-06-27 03:11:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
live and learn
2007-06-30 12:17:35 · answer #8 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋