I was previously married for 10 miserable years.
In my first marriage, my husband cheated many times with many different women, and usually only admitted it after being confronted. He had 3 children with 3 different women, I only discovered after we filed for divorce that all 3 of the kids were conceived during our marriage.
It has been 7 months since I remarried.
In the last 6 months my husband has compared me to his ex-fiance several times. They still work together daily.
Recently he's been going to work earlier then scheduled, and telling me he has "meetings" or events that he has to be at work early for. (Normally they schedule him as required for special events or "meetings", since they've been refusing overtime, and regulations allow only 9.5hrs/day)
He's also been coming home late, or when I call him for some information he's requested they say he's not working.
Am I being paranoid?
Even discussing it with him, he gets offended and angry that I even ask if he's cheating.
2007-06-27 00:48:00 · 15 answers · asked by arcticraven77 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
hard to say..
you could be just extra insecure
2007-06-27 00:51:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2007-06-27 13:49:55 · answer #2 · answered by bylovemagic 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not working when he says he is, then that should be a big red flag that needs to be investigated.
You have several options, one, you can be ready to go when he goes to work early. If you have a job, then you need to take a sick day or time off and just leave shortly after he does. Do not try to follow him, the chances of being seen are too great, just go straight to where he works and see if is even there. If he is not there, park where you can see the entrance he uses and not be seen by him and see what time he gets there. You will at least know if he is lying about what time he had to be at work. If he is lying about that, then there is no telling what he is lying about and you will know if you need to dig deeper. I do not think you are being paranoid, I think you have stumbled onto something. Don't act suspicious, just act like things are great and you are happy and content. If he fears getting caught, he will be more careful, if he thinks you are fooled and not onto him, he will get careless.
2007-06-27 09:05:13 · answer #3 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, why do his co-workers have any reason to lie. Tell him the next time they say he's not there when you call, his crap will be on the front porch. Why doesn't he just find a new job - better yet, why did you marry some dude who works with his ex? That seems like a recipe for disaster. Make him PROVE he's not cheating or toss him to the curb. He kniows your past & shouldn't be doing anything to make you feel bad.
2007-06-27 08:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, so you already know he's cheating, more important, he's not happy. He'd be at home if he was happy. Stop pussyfooting around this like you did the first time, and just sit down and ask him if he is happy in the marriage. You both may have made a mistake, better to find out now.
2007-06-27 07:53:34 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offended or not he is going to have to talk about this I don't blame you I am in your same situation, with the exception that I am still with my husband of twelve years and now raising his daugther with another woman..what your husband is doing is very hurtful comparing you with his ex is cruel and horrible.. he doesn't know what that do to you.. and in lights that they are working together of course you have a reason to be in doubts considering the nerve of him to compare you with her.. watch out I am not saying he is cheating but men most of them cheat is a damn shame if he do that knowing what you have being trough in the past.. if he is or not is up to you to find out investigate and leave him if he is don't take crap or like me your going to be very unhappy... my kids keep me here but someday they are going to grow and then i will be free.. I wish i had the nerves to raise my kids without him but i cant.. You sound like a strong woman and if he is cheating don't be afraid to leave and start new.. take sometime for your self people says one is a lonely number... i don't believe that one is a good number if you make it right if you put your happiness in front and love your self more than you love others... one day you will find your soul mate someone who doesn't compare you with anybody one who is considerate of your feelings and love you and only you... good luck honey i feel your pain...
2007-06-27 08:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry; but it does strongly appear that you may have a problem.
How long between the time your marriage broke up and you got involved with this guy? How long did you two date before getting married? You really need to get to know someone well before giving your heart away.
2007-06-27 07:53:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Move on and find someone better... or are you looking for another 10 miserable years?
2007-06-27 07:56:04 · answer #8 · answered by lonnyl_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey let me tell you one thing all man cheat just like us woman it's just that they do it in the most convient times for them just don't follow him around don't call him unless it is important the less atention you give him that when he is going to start asking him self if you are cheating then he's going to start following you insted of you following him. man don't want atention they tend to misuse it just losen up as if he is not that there. but love him more just don't show
2007-06-27 08:07:37 · answer #9 · answered by lovenote 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It smells like a rat and you can bet that if he worked with your husband he knew all about his cheating and probabaly helped hm cover it up. He sounds very suspecious.
2007-06-27 07:55:17 · answer #10 · answered by Lou 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really wish I can give you sound advise but after thinking over I will say "Keep calm and good luck" Hopefully all goes well for you.
(Personally my position used to be similar to yours except I lost totally.)
2007-06-27 08:33:17 · answer #11 · answered by j t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋