How do i get back money I am owed?

Question

i loaned my friend a lot of money, and i am still waiting to get it back after months of asking her for it back. yet she keeps telling me bare-faced lies and i have not seen a penny of what she owes me. we took out a joint car policy together, but my half has been cancelled, yet i still have to pay her debt, how can this be if it is nothing to do with me. there are also credit cards that i set up for her but the evidence says on the card and financial statements that they are in her name and not mine, but, yet again i am having to pay when it should be her who is paying. she has got me into serious debt of over £21,000 and i am struggling to pay it as i have a baby due in october, what on earth can i do, i have tried talking civil to her, but she is such a hard faced b*tch that it doesnt seem to bother her. i have even contacted her mother explaining the situation, but she says that is tough luck basically. what use is that. can anyone help before i completely tear my hair out?

Answer 1

I can't believe what I'm reading here.

Joint car policy? There's no such thing. Do you mean you acted as guarantor? Your half can't have been "cancelled" as you say. This does not happen. Either you are on the credit agreement, or not. Contact the lender first thing tomorrow and ask them the situation. They will tell you if you have a financial responsibility. Have a look at your copy of the paperwork - is this where you say you haven't got a copy? If not, get a copy - you will be needing it. If you have no financial responsibility but are paying - stop immediately!!

You set credit cards up for her?? What do you mean - set up? Do you mean you used your financial details to set up cards with her as a named cardholder? Do you have joint cards? Or do you mean you did the paperwork for her with her details and she just signed? Please post more info. Contact the credit card company's involved. Ask to speak to the fraud department and explain the situation. They will help you. If you have a liability - FREEZE THE CARDS IMMEDIATELY - STOP HER SPENDING.

As soon as you read this response, can you please post more info. I need to know exactly the situation about the accounts and what you mean by "set up" and I will do my best to help you.

I can almost certainly say this will become a police matter. It's either going to be fraud or obtaining money by deception. It's essential the police get involved because, once she's been done, the debt will be written off and you will have nothing to worry about. It sounds like you have been conned, pure and simple.

Answer 2

I would call it a lesson learned and NEVER give things to anyone unless they have money RIGHT THEN. I would just ask, or say we really need that 50 you borrowed because tax time is coming up and you need the money. Otherwise consider this a stupid mistake and NEVER let it happen again. Maybe just forget about it and if they give it to you they do, if not your loss. That was a bad call giving a sons friend money, or anyone from outside your family. Just don't do it again, and I doubt she will EVER pay you for the clothes, thats a GIVEN! Good Luck I don't know them but it usually ends up being uncomfortable. Ask for the BOW back! Afterall you bought it. They can have it back when they pay you for it, or let it go and let it be a lesson learned.

Answer 3

Keep every bill relating to this debt and every bank statement.

Create a paper trail following the debt from before it began to the present, make sure the statements are in order.
Same goes for the bank statements. Circle all loans or payments made for her to correspond with the payments on statements. If you wrote checks to her, I pray they say loan on them. Get copies of every one, you will have to request them from your bank probably. If the loans were in cash have a very clear written trail of where the money came from and how you had it. THIS CAN ALL BE EVIDENCE, NEVER THROW IT OUT.

Starting from the beginning write a ledger logging the sequence of everything loaned to or spend with on or for the girl. This will refresh your mind and help you remember where money came from and how it was used.

I would say that if your name is not on an account, DO NOT PAY IT! When the statement comes each month, do not open it, forward (mark across your address and write in hers)it to her address. Put a change of address in on any mail that comes to your house in her name. As long as you are certain that you are not a co-signer on the account. You could just mark through the address and mark return to sender. The will make the company search for her. Did you make payments from a direct pay out of your check account. STOP THAT ON ANYTHING THAT BELONGS TO HER. OTHERWISE THEY CAN KEEP PULLING PAYMENTS.

I would make a list of the bills, and work on them one at a time. This equates to "How do you eat an Elephant" one bite at a time. Call each company and work on the problem.
REMEMBER IF YOUR NAME IS NOT ON IT AND THEY WILL NOT GIVE YOU INFORMATION THE PAYMENTS ARE NOT YOURS TO MAKE.

If the car policy for you has been cancelled WHY IN THE HECK ARE YOU PAYING HERS. Straighten it out with the insurance company and get your name off of it or cancel it.
Go to their office and get it clarified. My ins. office would do this in a heart beat.

Prepare a contract listing all the dates and debts that she owes you with a thorough total and a payment schedule above the signature lines . Take it to her to arrange for payments. You may need to do this several times with a personal witness with you every time before you wear her down to sign it. BUT YOU WANT THAT SIGNATURE, IT IS AN ADMISSION OF THE DEBT. Use the fact your are pregnant and MUST HAVE THE MONEY. Pressure her.

Hopefully you can get a signature. Try hard to explain and stay in control. Make up a payments page and should she start making payments list them by amount and date and method of payment, cash, money order, check. REMEMBER THIS IS EVIDENCE.

You are in a pickle, but one debt at a time you should be able to whittle the problem down. If you cannot, I would absolutely take her to small claims or if it is over the limit for your state for small claims, a civil suit. BEING RIPPED OFF IS ROTTEN. AND PEOPLE LIKE THAT ARE MISERABLE ROTTEN LOW LIFES.

Good Luck.

Answer 4

This is very serious. Go to a solicitor and get legal advice. Act quickly. First step is to disclaim any liability for her debts. Next step is to try to recover some of the money she owes you. But you cannot do this alone unless you are very experienced. Go to a solicitor, it will be cheaper than allowing her to run up debts in your name.
Once you have a solicitor (make sure it is a good well established firm), write to this person saying that all further communications with you must be through your solicitor.
Good luck

Answer 5

I feel so sorry for you. This is not a friend and never has been she is someone who saw an opportunity and took it.

Go to the Citizens Advice Burea, they will be able to advise. You can go through the courts but this can be a lengthy process and even if they make judgement againest her if she pleads poverty there is no gurantee that you will get this money back

Youmay not want to hear this but a lesson has to be learned here and that's never agree to credit or finance deals on anyone's behalf, not even a husband/partner. She has fleeced you and you will struggle to get that money back

Best of luck

Answer 6

what agreement did you have in writing??? If youhad none, then check with the companies to see what, if any, you are legally responsible for. If you are not legally responsible, then STOP PAYING - it's not your buns in the sling. If you are legally responsible, then figure out a payment plan that you can live with and suck it up and do it. Contact the companies and explain the situation to them, offer your payment plan to them, and go from there. Most companies will work with you if you approach them with a solution.

Consider it a hard lesson learned in the school of life.

Answer 7

Get some proper advice from your Citizens Advice Bureaux and talk to the creditors to explain your situation and work to resolve it. If cards etc are in her name then she is responsible for them not you, but how were you able to set them up for her in the first place? Again I strongly advise getting expert advice on how to proceed. Good luck.

Answer 8

If the statements are in her name and she is the one who has racked up the bills then stop paying them. The only prob with that though, is that your address could get blacklisted. You need to seek legal advice to be able to get this sorted properly...try the Citizens Advice...
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/

Answer 9

anything that isnt in your name - dont pay

any cards that are joint, cancel them. you will still have to pay them though.

what's a joint car policy. if you can prove your half no longer exists - stop paying.

Answer 10

Get legal advice from a lawyer and try to sue her.