What should I do? need advice?

Question

My friend had a premature baby earlier in the year and is mad at me because she thinks I didn't care. However when she called me to tell me....I asked her did she need anything. Her reply was that she was going to get some rest. So I went to visit her in the hospital to visit two days later but when I got there she had been sent home. I didn't call immediately because I felt I would give she and her husband time to process what had happen being that he had just got home from a military assignment. So I called a week later from her initial call to see how she was doing but no one picked up the phone. I continued to text and email her but with no response, which was fine because she was dealing with a difficult situation. We didn't talk for over three months and then all of a sudden, I get an email stating that she was angry at me for not being there for her eventhough she acknowledged getting my phone call. I need advice because I'm the "godmother" of her son.

Answer 1

I think at this point, you just need to explain to her what you did to us. The two of you had different opinions about what was best for you to do. You had no way of knowing that she did need you as much. You also need to understand that this is a very emotional time for her. Did the baby die or was it just premature, but otherwise healthy? Either way the only thing you can try to do now is move forward. Show her you do care and that you never meant to not be there. She needs to see you in person. If she cannot accept that now,then there is nothing you can do. I think in time she will see that she is more angry about her situation that at you. If not, you have done your part.

Answer 2

You need to ask for forgiveness, with a humble heart. Admit it or not, you could have been more forthcoming. I've done the same thing, and paid a big price. Don't waste another second. Today would be a great day to humble yourself, and make a quality decision to never make the same mistake again. Life is precious, and time slips away at an incredible rate. Good luck!

Answer 3

What you are doing is very similar to what my mother is doing to me.
I have 2 sons, aged 5 and 7. She hardly visits us, calls us or sees us. This is very painful to me because I think she doesn't care.
When I approached her about this she simply said that she really did want to see us more but she didn't want to "bother" us........

What I am trying to say is if you are a close friend, you don't need to worry about the "bothering" bit. Your friend would have wanted you there, and I think you should have really been there as soon as the baby was born for support.

SInce that is now in the past i think you should explain your motive and how you thought she would have wanted you to give her and her husband some space....tell her you want to be there for her and the child.........and be there. Just be there.

You can't be there if you are giving space. Giving space is great in theory, but in practice it is useless.

Answer 4

It might be time for you to make a personal visit and take a gift. She has gone through a rough time. She is probably not thinking rationally. Go to her and apologize. Explain you didn't know exactly what to do and that you felt she needed time with her family to process everything. Try to mend fences if you can. She needs you now.

Answer 5

Be there for her and take a look at and get her to speak to her mother and father... By her speaking to them offers her extra choices on wether or now not she desires to preserve it and even adoption she has extra choices now than she is going to later. Her mother and father will uncover out finally simply ensure it is not to past due. And be a well buddy and take a look at and aid/consultant her to make the offerings she desires and now not what any individual "desires" her to do given that she am has to manage it in a while in existence it doesn't matter what she comes to a decision... And like the lady earlier than mentioned her mother and father will develop to the proposal and sure there is a danger they will unfastened it however the will not do any harm her or the child. So inspire her to make her choices in order to improvement her eventually.

Answer 6

Start talking to her again over the phone or by email and try to see if you can meet her in person. When you meet her, apologize (I believe you've done nothing wrong tho) and she should gradually forgive you. Just spend quality time with her and show great affection to her son. This way you'll be connected to her in more than one way and she will be forced to forgive you.

Or you could ignore her until she gets over it... (I personally do this with my friends)

Answer 7

She is probably still stressed out and overwhelmed. Ask her husband to watch the baby for a day and take her out for lunch and spend time together. Apologize and tell her how you called and e-mailed to check on her.

Answer 8

That poor woman is under a lot of stress. Maybe you should have gone to her house and knocked on the door. She certainly could have used a friend. I can't believe a godparent didn't see the newborn godchild for the first five months of its life. You need to redefine "friendship" in your own mind and then begin to act like a friend.

Answer 9

Give her some quality time, you and her alone, and give her some emotional connection; let her know you are her true friend.
Friendships are relationships; any relationship can drift; you have been drifting a little I would say. Just paddle toward each other.

Answer 10

Go visit her face to face and tell her exactly what you told us and that at no time did you not fell her for and for her unborn child and her husband. You are really sorry for her loss and your realy sorry she misunderstood your actions.