If it were a very good reason would you really do it? My friend came over last night and she is panicked because she has lied to her husband and cant figure out how to get out of the lie.
She only works part time because her husband is ok with that and he makes decent money. The thing is that she is really bad with money.
He took control of paying all of the bills himself and gives her only like $20 or $30 a week.
She has control of the visa debit card and when she was doing things such as buying groceries or something she would use the debit card.
It adds up to almost $2000 and they have been saving this money to buy a piece of land. Now she is panicked and wants to runaway from him. They have been married a long time. I told her I did not have an answer but I would check with you all and see what kind of advice to offer to her.
2007-06-27 00:03:01 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
for those of you who think that this might be me - sorry - I happen to be married to a really great guy and I have my own money. In fact this particular friend who I am talking about has borrowed alot of money from me. The reason I ask all of you is because I know and she knows that she is very happy being the "Drama Queen". She has a ton of issues always in her life and sometimes in all honesty I cant find the remote to change the channel. Thanks in advance for the great help people. That is what Answers is all about.
2007-06-27 00:14:47 · update #1
Annie, what's the point of lying about it??? He's going to find out as soon as he sees the bank statements or he tries to use his debit card and it's rejected. It's much better for her if she tells him herself, and takes the anger, than if she waits for him to find out, and then he'll be even angrier thinking she tried to hide something from him. She's not going to be able to say she needed it for an emergency--she can't prove it and he won't believe there was an emergency that she didn't tell him about before.
She has to take the heat. Like you say, she's bad with money and is an impulsive spender. She has to face the consequences if she's ever going to change herself.
2007-06-27 00:10:41 · answer #1 · answered by AnOrdinaryGuy 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you mean she was using the debit card to get stuff for herself or to get the groceries?
Either way, he's going to find out soon enough and running away is no answer.
Tell your friend this. I've been married a lot longer than she probably has. Not very long ago I told my husband a BIG lie. Then I couldn't live with myself so I told him the truth. He wasn't mad at me for lying....he was glad I'd told him the truth in the end. (The lie wasn't about cheating on him or anything like that. )
2007-06-27 00:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by lou b 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am the bill payer and budgeter in my home, and my husband is the one who has difficulty handling money and staying on budget. He's been known to do things similar to this, and it always always comes out. If they have been married a long time, then her husband KNOWS a problem like this just doesn't get fixed overnight, and depending upon how long it took her to use up that $2000.00, it's pretty good that she managed to make it on the tiny budget he gave her and only go over that amount. He sounds a little like he lives in Denial if he thinks he's going to control this issue, she needs to get help.....She needs to come clean....and then perhaps she should get a part-time job to earn back the extra money she spent....
2007-06-27 00:17:45 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let me bet...Bar or strip membership? Men will continuously do what they wish they don't seem to be very well at hiding it however us as girl in love do not see it given that we're blinded through their love. Start paying extra awareness to matters you are going to most commonly observe plenty extra lies now that you just see one you are going to begin to peer all of them. Men do not care in the event that they harm us chiefly if they are comfy in a dating or marriage and realize they are able to break out with that crap. You must confront him and ask why he felt the must do what ever it's you evidently requested him to not do and ask him how he might love it if the shoe used to be at the different foot.
2016-09-05 09:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by lemelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this case, honesty isn't just the best policy, it's the only policy. She did something really stupid, now she needs to confess her sins and hope he forgives her. She also needs to get some counseling for her out-of-control spending habits before she ruins both their lives.
2007-06-27 00:10:32 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not like she has cheated on him, I am sure if she just told him they could work it out, seeing as it was groceries and not just a spending spree I am sure he will get over it. It's also not a HUGE debt (It's a lot of money, but not like $100,000) so she should grow up and tell him.
2007-06-27 00:36:32 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be better if she could tell her spouse the truth .
Remember it hurts once when you speak the truth but running away is not the solution. One has to face the facts of life and speaking the truth will not change his love for you if you think he is a decent person. .
2007-06-27 00:25:14 · answer #7 · answered by tiger 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how was she going to buy groceries on 20 a week if she had to use the card to pay for them its his fault not hers, if he is controlling the ;money he knows, she needs to take a course on money management
2007-06-27 00:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by emma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like if you friend is that afraid of her husband, then she is in an abusive relationship and needs to get out now.
2007-06-27 00:10:14 · answer #9 · answered by dewhatulike 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have a legitimate fear in telling him this? Running away from him seems alittle extreme for someone old enough to be a grown up. Is he abusive?
If not, then she needs to tell him. Then they need mart ital counseling, this money thing is going to kill their marriage.
2007-06-27 00:08:07 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋