Why do people look down so much on people living together before marriage...?

Question

I'm not talking about just a sex thing...i mean when people are pretty much engaged or getting close to that point...why is it such a bad thing to live together? Shouldnt that be a good thing? A test period before they get married so they can see how it will be AFTER they are married, and know better if it will work out? You should learn how to live with each other and make sure you can stand each other before you tie the knot, shouldnt you?

Answer 1

I have been living with my partner for a while and he's the one who keeps asking me to marry him i'm the one who is not ready as yet...people have choices, i won't be forced into marriage, you only have to look at the stastistics and see how many devorces there are i refuse to become another one...i really couldn't care less what other people think it's my life not theirs... many of them are putting up with rubbish in their marriages, but remain together so not to be seen as another failed marrige.... i'm a person who makes my own choices and stays real to myself regardless of what others think.

Answer 2

Well, I was married once and didn't live with him before we got married and things were a nightmare after just a short time of living together. I think its smart to know someone so intimately (by living together first) and that way you can make sure you know all that you can about them before you get married. My future husband and I just moved in together with my son. We have been dating for almost a year and a half now and plan on getting married in a little over a year. I think that's a decent amount of time to date first and then live together before marrying. My parents looked down on the idea until they saw the place I was living and how unsafe I felt there being a single mom with a elementary age child. They also saw that I would be better off financially by living with him until we got married. So, they even helped me move. Which is a big step for them. My dad is a preacher and so it usually goes against the way I was raised, but this situation is a little different.

Answer 3

You test out a car, you test out a bike. You don't test out marriage. What if, and it happens a lot, there are children and then, you decide it's not for you. The public supports the kids? right.
What if tragedy strikes and, someone is left on the street because just about everything is "communal property" and, family grabs everything?

Marriage is another legal way to protect a person, a way to aide the other party in case of accidents or injuries.
It's a way to share your life, not just "test" it and if you don't like it, to run.
If you ever wonder why there's so many kids running around without a parent, this is one reason.

Answer 4

I agree, anybody that gets married then lives with their husband/wife man that would be scary. I think that living together and trying it out first is way better than jumping into marriage and then failing. Granted probably eveyone doesnt fail but im sure it would be more likely. And you would also think that by now (the 21st century) it would and should be socially acceptable. There are more people doing it now than ever before. Besides this might help keep the divorce rate down??

Answer 5

Some of it is based on tradition, but most of it is based on scripture....."it is written" that real love casts out all types of fear, and that includes apprehensions of a delusionally anticipated catastrophe.....if you are really and truly in love with your soulmate, other half and best friend, then there should be no fear of a wounded heart after you've already entrusted it to one another.....it also prominently displays a character flaw of impatience on behalf of the nuptials as a whole.....it shows a severe lack of faith in a possible marital relationship altogether.....I could go on and on.....even after becoming married, a relationship can still end through the hassles of divorce proceedings, but a cohabitation established through a martial covenant from the start of it will result in greater blessings, including increased odds of survival.....and from the very beginning of history, people that did this were stoned to death or hung, and very quickly if the 'hood hated them really bad.....either way, the true character and colors of each individual will show only after exchanging vows, and how "the story of us" ends will totally depend on how much they really do love each other.....as for me, I still do believe in miracles.....us old-schoolers really didn't have such a light view on these matters as today's generation does.....straight up sentiments, and blessings to you baby girl.....

Answer 6

In my opinion it is the best thing to do is "test the waters" before the marriage thing. In our society there are so many different beliefs. You have the "holyier than thou" people, you have those that follow the Bible word for word, you have people that could care less, you have those that think that there is nothing wrong with seeing if you can live with that person before you tie the knot. So, best thing to do is do what you want to and not try to please others. Who cares if they look down at you. Its your life and at least you are smart enough to try the living thing first before marriage and ending up in divorce. Good luck.

Answer 7

I do not know that many people who look down on this. I am in my early 40's, married. Have neighbors who live together un-married (not young either), etc. My daughter is 23, I do not look down on her for living with her boyfriend or anyone else. I think it's when it is frowned upon, it's only because someone feels that the couple is avoiding committment. Which may or not be true. Or, when it's clear that the live-in couple just fight 24/7.

Answer 8

No it doesn't work out better. I lived with my ex husband before we got married. Your "test period" is a pipe dream at best. When you are living together you are still on your "best behavior" because you don't want to do anything that might cause a break up. Once you're married all bets are off and you revert back to being the person you REALLY are and were before you met "mr./ms/ right". If you want to make sure you can stand each other before you get married then you need to KNOW each other before you marry, you need to COMMUNICATE, you need to be true to yourself and be the person you REALLY are and let one another know your wants, dreams desires. Living together doesn't do that, you are still trying to "impress" the other one to get them to eventually marry you. After marriage is when the little things start crawling out of the woodwork. The clipping of toenails in bed. The nose picking, mouth breathing, snoring, bad breath, lack of hygine, ball scratching, bad temper, abusive temper, etc.

I thought I knew my husband well when we got married...20 years later we divorced because he was verbally/emotionally/mentally abusive and his temper was making him physically abusive. Living together is no guarantee that a marriage is going to last.

Answer 9

i am a firmly believe in living together, before you tie the knot as they],, aleast you no the person better , it well except in my country ,,,most couple do it here ,,,,and they are marrying 10years later than they use to her too,,,

Answer 10

i think its the fact the way society works and about self respect and how people would see you look im not against it but i wouldn't do it.