What decision shud I take.?

Question

This is further to my question posted some days back reg. my husband . He again pledged his diamond ring and told me that he has pledged it for the sake of his brother's friend who repaid his brother's credit card debt as this friend was urgently need of money then atlast I asked that boy and he refused of borrowing any money from my husband. In addition to this I found out just a few days before he had pledged my earrings which I had hidden inside the cupboard fearing that he will take it some how he has found out and pledged it. My family members and myself asked him why he is spending so much of money whether he has got any habit of gambling, drugs /drinks etc he is refusing of having anything. Now my people have come to a conclusion to keep a condition before him that he has to tell the truth what for the money is spent if he doesn't come out with the truth we will go for separation. I really don't know what will be the outcome. One thing is sure I do not want to live with hm

my people doubt that he might be having some drug addiction and they feel that he shud be given some treatment. But I feel that I have already wasted my life in 4 yrs of my marriage by adjusting to all these type of activities and I do not have patience to give treatment and waste my life any more. Iam 32 now and he is 35. I am not at all interested in living with him

Moreover his mother had spent Rs.10,000/- for releasing the jewels two months back he told me that she has sent only Rs.5,000/- and he released only one ring out of two rings which he (diamond ring) pledged again after a few days of releasing it. To his mother he has told he has released all the jewels. I came to know only later. Other than this he has got some amount thro P.F. etc almost Rs.15-20,000/- including what his mother had sent within this two months. After that only again he has pledged his ring earring within a span of two months. I really don't where this money has gone inbetween he pestered his mother to send some money other than this Rs.10,000/- and she had sent all these are without my knowledge . For house hold expenses he gives only Rs.2,000/- as he gets only Rs.4,000/- rest I take care. I started hating this person


I am employed and earning better than him. He has several time taken money from my ATM A/c itself. I pardoned him for all those things.

When I ask him repeatedly why the money is spent unnecessarily by getting money from your mother very often like this and u do not have any savings , earns less, this will only result in we not having nothing in the long run as you are asking money from your mother which is ur property. He says that right from childhood I have got used to spending money lavishly and even my mother knows that I spend money even if I have Rs.1000/- in a day. Does this not sound tp be a very irresponsible / immatured answer from a 35 yr old man.

Answer 1

The best decision regarding such a husband is to seek divorce either by mutual consent or on the ground of cruelty from him & throw him out of your life. Second option with you is to seek protection order from the court under the provisions (section 22 of the Act) of the Protection of women from domestic violence Act, 2005 against him that will debar him for indulging in all these activities you have mentioned here as these amount to domestic violence for which he can be asked by the courts to stop otherwise face imprisonment for infringement of this protection order (under section 36 of the Act). He can even be prosecuted under the provisions of section 498A of the Indian Penal Code for committing cruelty against you. These are the legal options with you for dealing with this person. The best & the most time saving option here in such case is seeking divorce by mutual consent which takes only 6 to 8 months to finalize otherwise other grounds of divorce take enormous time to get finalize may be 3 to 5 years or even more.

Answer 2

After going through the averments as given by you. It is no doubt that it is too panic for you to face such situations. BUT keep it in your mind that nothing is impossible i.e it`s a life and certain incident occured from time to time. The main concept is to how we should resolved it. No doubt you have done but maximum you could, even than it is my personnel advise to first take some time and have patience to handle the present situation. I know it is not so simple till you agree with that you are in a sensible state of mind and once you loose your patience then nothing left behind except to disturbe the life for furure also. You have to keep silence and let him do but he can but save your moveables from him. It is more important if you do not act further on his wrong activities. Beleive me if you will not react there will be some sign of his own stress and that may reduce his activities.
I know it is not so simple to do so.
Do some meditation/deep breathing practice, which will make you a master to tackle the present situation.
There is one solution for you if you think better then try to contact some your faithfull person who may contact him sepeately and on goodfaith may able to know the basic reason. There are so many consultacies which may help you to how to tackle such circumstances?.
There are so many episode also view in INDIA-TV channel at 12 night every day, from where you may also take advise as well the email no. with regard to solve your problem.
Good Wishes
Rajan sharma
M- 9868081482

Answer 3

U already ve answer, leave him right now, lead independent and happy life. U r earning, develop ur hobbies and meet more people so that u get a chance to meet person of ur compatibility. Do not ve primitive thinking either because of ur family, society or religion. U r a human being and entitled to happiness. Be happy and prove that u r right.

Answer 4

Honesty is the keyword in a successful marriage.

You and your family are exactly on the right track is asking him either to explain the target of his extravagance, or to be ready for divorce.

The most possible probability is that he has acquired addiction to an expensive drug recently.

Answer 5

Difficult situation but I have experience of that in my own family.It's better to get out when you can and start a new life.I know divorce has a stigma in India but you can't keep basing your life around somebody else if you're not happy.

Answer 6

Take him to a psycologist....a person not known to anyone from your or his family. See, he is your husband and you his wife - he must be in some soup that he feels insecure to tell you off directly and the more you discuss with your and his relatives would be taking him into his shell.

Go to a counsellor or a psycologist to dig to the root of his problem.

Answer 7

Develop better understanding with your husband and dot enter into the street for advises, some times it will ruin your family life.

Answer 8

first of all his mother must be knowing about his habit.as mother has sixth sense.mother knows weak point of the children. only out of love they cover up their fault.
second thing---you started hating him. do not hate the person but hate their vices.
he must be feeling infiriority complex about your incomes .generally male ego hurts. do not hate him but love him. and so much that he forced himself to change. i am not talking about panchtantra story. love and devotion can change.give some more time before taking any decision. good luck.

Answer 9

jus stay come n think... u wil get a good solution...
Try to give him one more chance... take him fora good counselling...pray to god...
This is ur life..so take a good decision with lot of care.
May god give u happiness forever..

Answer 10

your complaining so much it would be better to leave him, serious move on & divorce him