I'm 21 and he is 37...I live in La and he lives in Ga. I met him March 26th, 2006. I'm Submissive and he is Dominate. We both love each other... I've gone to visit him 3 times since we've met last year. I'm still a student in college and he owns his own programming business. #1. How do I come out to my mother about my alternate lifestyle? #2. How do I tell her I'm in love with a man who is 37 (the same age as her, she had me at 16) and that he is dom? #3. I'm thinking about transfering to a college out in Ga so I can be closer to him. As many may know a sub/dom relationship is quite hands on... Anyway I want to go to Ga to be closer to him and to get out of my mothers house...It's quite time I leave this city anyway... would that be a good idea?
I quite feel I'm in the closet with my lifestyle, and when I hook up with people down here it doesn't work because there is a side of me that isn't getting nurished...
So what should I do?
2007-06-26 19:54:10 · 10 answers · asked by trapped-dyme 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
There's nothing wrong with being into bdsm number one...and your family doesn't have to know what you enjoy behind closed doors as well. The ago difference may be a huge flag for your family, I know if my daughter came to me and said she was dating someone that much older I would caution her that one she is young and her priorites will be much different from the older gentleman's as well as veiws on life, money etc. If you are still in school, I would defintly suggest waiting until you graduate before moving closer to him, one would be an education is a incredible gift and shouldn't be turned down, and two I am sure your parents are helping through school if not financally then emotionally which is something we all need.
2007-06-27 02:48:54 · answer #1 · answered by emt_dragon339 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not quite sure what you mean about "alternative lifestyle" but I'll just assume you mean the age difference. Although the difference in your ages can be a problem in many ways that is not what I want to talk about right now. My main concern is the typical desire most young ladies around this age tend to have and that is to give up their lives for a man and so early in the game. There is nothing that you've written about him that merits this drastic action. I'm thankful that you are in college but it appears that you have a typical case of anxiousness. I truly understand that and have gone through it myself and at times still do but I realize that not thinking things through wisdom, knowledge and understanding will eventually harm you and your future. Try to give yourself time to make yourself proud of all you can achieve as an independent woman rather than how fast you can live the "glamorous life" with a man who will no doubtedly not respect you for making a decision such as leaving yours and throwing it away for his. Guarantee you he will hold that over you in the way he treats you. Pay attention to the court shows and the Maury shows and the divorce rates and then the rate of women's salary versus men. Then recheck how hard it is to get men to pay child support. Stay where you are a little longer, get yours and go to GA with your future wrapped tight.
2007-06-26 20:12:39 · answer #2 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! Maybe you needn´t tell your mother about your sexual preference if you feel it would upset her and she wouldn´t understand, because I think it is the kind of thing that she won´t necessarily figure out by herself. As for the age difference, I have had a lot of relationships with a big age difference and I have found that "showing" rather than "telling" is the best method.Show her a photo of him, don´t mention his age or, if possible, introduce him in person. I have found that an age difference "sounds" terrible, but when they see the person with you, they see your love and how natural and "normal" it is. As for moving to be near him, especially considering that you can combine this move with a "career" move and doing something meaningful for yourself, why not? And at least your mom won´t be stopping in when you least expect it to catch you in the act, coming from a distance she will have to announce her visits.
2007-06-26 20:00:50 · answer #3 · answered by Happy Feet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one-a 37 year old onoy has one thing on his mind with a 21 one year old girl. You do not need to be already submiting to someone like that at his age. You will be giving up who you are and what you want to be. And if you want to finish college stay right where you are at otherwise he will get an attitude about school and make you quit before you finish. You need to date someone more your own age. I am worried for you. You have no idea what is in store for you with an older man.
2007-06-26 19:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Stefbear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest with yourself. If your alternate lifestyle is what makes you happy, then why hide it? I dont know how your relationship with your mother is, so I dont know how you should tell her. As for telling her who you are in love with, that should be easy, just tell her. You cant help who you fall in love with. For #3, if you are gonna move to GA I wouldnt suggest moving right in with him, i would only go if i was gonna have my own place to live. Relationships get a lot different when you live together.
2007-06-26 20:02:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although your avatar suggests you are female I gather from what you say that you are a homosexual male with a submissive leaning and one who cross-dresses.
As a heterosexual man I can only suggest you be as honest as possible with the people who love you, especially your mom.
I don't particularly approve of your lifestyle choice, but it is your choice and honesty is the best policy.
Please be careful and don't burn bridges. You may need to go back across them.
2007-06-26 20:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Warren D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not really a problem that hes that much older than you. Its legal cuz you're not under the age 18...but about the moving part..if youre only moving out ther for him then make sure thats really what u want...because if he ends up breaking your heart you are going to really regret moving out there for him...so just be careful.......
2007-06-26 20:11:49 · answer #7 · answered by daggirl9800 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all dont worry so much about how your family is going to react if you truly feel that your in love then go for it if your family care about you they will let you go and be happy, im going out with a man 9 years older than me...
2007-06-26 19:58:55 · answer #8 · answered by natasha p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him it wont matter i wish u both the best in the future my sisster is 22 and she is dateing a 42 year old man i dont care about that
2007-06-26 19:57:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
do yourself a BIG BIG favor.
find someone else.
will be difficult but in the long term far far better for you.
eg you will be a young 50 and he will be an OLD 67.
2007-06-26 19:58:44 · answer #10 · answered by dirtyoldman 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋