My husband and I seperated 6 months ago, I left him because of his attitude and infidelity. After healing from the hurt, I decided to work on the marriage, he says he now wants a divorce after all this time he has wanted to go to councling and save it. he says he want's to see if his relationship with this new women will work. He says he still loves me, but how can he love me and be with another. He says he does not want to rush the divorce. Should I just get the divorce or try to win him back?
2007-06-26 19:20:16 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get the divorce. He's prolonging the process because he knows you still want him.
He also is trying to prey on you, knowing that if it doesn't work out with this other women, chances are good for him that you'll just fall back into his arms.
He wants to have 2 cakes & eat them too! Don't be the 2nd cake
YOU
file for divorce tomorrow morn. & move on to someone who will appreciate you , for who you are.
2007-06-26 19:24:21 · answer #1 · answered by Miss Emily1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry you are going through this, but why would you want him back ? He's a cheater and still with her. And saying he 'loves you' but wants to see where things go with her is him asking for your permission to keep seeing her (read that, keep sleeping with her). That way if/when you get back together, you can never be mad/hurt or feel betrayed by his infidelity because after all you gave him permission to continue with her.
You are the 'back up plan' just in case things don't work out with her. He wants his cake and eat it too.
Good luck to you.
2007-06-26 19:32:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get the divorce...men like that do not change, and although you might feel better right now if you "win him back," you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery. As far as not wanting to rush the divorce, he just wants to have his cake and it too (excuse the cliche). Do you really want to put yourself through that kind of pain again?
2007-06-26 19:33:29 · answer #3 · answered by jerseygyrrl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U may agree not to rush the divorce on condition that he does not meet the other woman and lives with u, as a married couple, till the divorce takes place.
If he agrees to these conditions, there is a good chance that you can try to win him back. If he does not agree, rush with the divorce.
2007-06-26 20:44:12 · answer #4 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go? Absolutely not! If you love him don't let him get away. Do anything in your power thats reasonable, don't do too much and get nothing out of it. Believe me I have been so close of loosing my girl, and when I'm mad it doesnt even cross my mind, but when I really start thinking about things it tears me apart and I do everything I can to get her back. So no, if you love him get him. Regrets hurt. They never heal.
We can never get "OVER" things, we just forget them. But sooner or later they come back to bite you in the @$$. Don't be another divorce statistic. Follow your heart.
Good Luck sweety.
-Mike
Love conquers all.
2007-06-26 19:30:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mike C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you want to keep him then work to keep him.
The problem is, is that you are his second choice.
Do you really want to live your life knowing that you are not first on his list?
It's a toss up and in the end you have to decide if you really want to go the rest of your life with him even after knowing that he is willing to put someone before you.
2007-06-26 20:16:50 · answer #6 · answered by Magdelena 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself honestly if you are worth more then someone who wants to see first. I think you are. If he is seeing someone while working on his marriage he doesn;t seem like he is really serious about it working. Worry about yourself and not him anymore. Go out be happy with yourself and find someone deserving of your love. You are now able to say you tried everything to make it work but it didn't that is a good feeling to have. Good luck
2007-06-26 19:26:39 · answer #7 · answered by caligal68 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is, when he is tired of his mistress. He is stringing you along, while he is enjoying the other woman. Once. the other woman starts nagging on him than he might be ready to come back to you.
Ask yourself, why you want him back!
What is it that you won't let go of a cheating husband?
2007-06-26 19:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN FORGIVE; BUT, NEVER FORGET....HE LEFT YOU! WHY ARE YOU EVEN ENTERTAINING THE IDEA OF A RETURN ENGAGEMENT WITH HIM.....AND ACTUALLY LETTING HIM 'TELL' YOU WHEN TO GET A DIVORCE.
YOU ARE LIKE THE YO-YO HE HAS MADE YOU INTO. want you....don't want you.....maybe, just wait!
In the meantime, you are missing OPPORTUNITIES to miss some great guys who would look your way....but, you are waiting, aren't you?
GIRL, LEAVE THAT ZERO AND FIND A HERO! HOOK YOURSELF UP JUST TO GO TO THE STORE AND SEE WHO NOTICES. THERE IS LIFE AFTER HUBBY....BELIEVE ME! GOOD LUCK
2007-06-26 19:54:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through something like this---and the final answer was this---Either he move home and we work it out OR we were done---its cut and dry---you are worth more than what he is putting on you---wait and see if this other gal works out--bull pucky!!! she goes he comes home or call the lawyer--By the way he came home she is history and we live happy ever after--its been over two and a half years--so good luck and be strong--
2007-06-26 19:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋