First time in my life???

Question

that I cannot have the type of sexual relationship that I want with the woman that I am with (currently my wife). I have always been able to have a satisfying sexual relationship with any of the women that I have previously been involved with even at the end of those relationships. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. DO NOT tell me to "Spank my monkey", of course that is always an option and that gets old too. I like to satisfy my woman during love making and the emotional toll that it is having on me and our relationship is immeasurable. I am starting to doze off at work during the day because I cannot sleep at night because I am not being mentally fulfilled and the abundant frustration is starting to take a major toll on our once well healed relationship. I DO NOT KNOW where to go in our relationship at this point. I am a good husband, father, son and community leader. But here I sit again up for another 2-3 hours when I should be sleeping. Thank you for any help.

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you may have some deep problems inside you need to sort out. Not meaning bad just some issues you may not even be aware of or are pushing them so far back it is something you cannot see. Mental and emotional problems can have that effect on people. You may want to seek a counselors advice. Have you started any new meds lately? That too can affect things. You need to sit and think about what it is that is not satisfying you or your mate and maybe even talk about it find out what each other wants and maybe that could help. What ever happens I wish you luck

Answer 2

Well your wife didn't just start drinking. She obviously cut you off for some reason. (probably you were too harsh with the daughter).
Either resolve the issue and live with the way it has been or leave. If she won't put out so you can get some sleep then drink a beer and go to bed.
Quit blaming her for the problems you are having at work when you won't turn off the Computer and go to bed. Your sick of the job anyways and are just making excuses.

Answer 3

Have you considered going into therapy with your wife? I don't know what to tell you, but I would assume that she must have been far more special to you than all of the others, because she is the woman you chose to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe you two could seek out some counseling and find your way back to that good point again. This may be totally obvious advice, but I don't know what else to say. If my husband ever felt this way, I would sincerely hope that he would approach me so we could work on this together.

Answer 4

Are you saying that it is taking too long to satisfy your wife, thus, your tired and unsatisfied as an end result? Or, are you the one who has CHANGED...JUST NOT SATISFYING ANYMORE, SEX WITH YOUR WIFE?

WELL, welcome to the club of ''GOTTA KEEP IT HOT WORK". Sexual relations have a way of waining off, sometimes, when with a spouse for several years. It takes work, from both of you, to KEEP THE HEAT UP!

Communications is the first step. TALK IT ALL OUT...FIND TIME FOR BOTH OF YOU. BE HONEST. USUALLY THE TWO OF YOU CAN WORK THINGS OUT BY COMING UP WITH NEW THINGS TO TRY.

BE SURE THAT YOU HAVE NOT ALLOWED YOUR VARIOUS PAST SEXUAL ACTS, GET IN THE WAY OF YOUR PRESENT ONE. Thinking and comparing....you know. Good luck

Answer 5

start by talking to her about sex. Share fantasies, likes and dislikes, find out things the other wants to try, etc...You can't fix a problem if everyone doesn't acknowledge that there is a problem. If she doesn't want to try something different even after you openly tell her there's something missing then perhaps sex isn't your only problem. She may feel the same way, just you are both keeping it locked inside. So for now you're both just going through the motions hoping somehow things will get better.

Answer 6

Sit down with your wife, and speak directly into her eyes, example first that she needs to off set her emotions, that you need her as a partner in life, you need advice.

Now explain to her everything you want to say- this is not an argument, this is not a pre empt to a divorce/split, you are asking her for help. If she jumps up and gets emotional (angry, or whatever) then claim her down, inform her that you need her help not her outburst.

Why her? She's your wife, she knows you better then anyone, and everything about her you should desire, trust, and believe in and she should do the same.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for you

Answer 7

Um, you never mentioned exactly what kind of sexual r'ship you wanted with your wife and why she isn't satisfying that.....that would help a whole lot in answering the question.

If you're not satisfied in your sex life, you need to just talk to your wife about it! Afterall, she's supposed to be your closest friend.

Answer 8

You're sitting in the wrong place...turn off the computer and spend time with her
Even if its late....rekindle it while you still can....when you are burning both ends....the flame will go out.

I try not to go on the computer when my spouse is home, it takes away from US time....

Our worlds are too busy and/or stressful to forget one another, not just for the sex but for each other....find time to do things that don't involve that; laugh and love one another and the other will come naturally...

Best wishes

Answer 9

Do you mean you can't sleep ,because for some reason you can not satisfy your wife?I have a hard time sleeping too.I take sleep aids.Over the counter once.Everybody tells me that i will get used to them and i shouldn't.but i would rather sleep and be a good,happy mom for my kids.the sex part is kind of different.I mean if it was good before,you need to know what happened,what is going wrong?I hope i could help.

Answer 10

explore your interests outside of your normal day to day boredom.. try something new and exciting that might ignite your sex life again for both of you..

I say, try scuba diving. Once you learn how to scuba dive, get your wife into it too, then you can open new doors to sexual activity with scuba diving like sex in a pool, sex, underwater, sex on a wreck dive, etc, etc, etc,

Thing is, there are all kinds of related fetishes along with scuba diving, each one being erotic as heck or as erotic as you want to make it with your wife. Make sure you explore these fetishes with her too, she just might like a bit of dare and aventure and maybe some latex to wear too.

Yummy, the thought though, don't you think?