we are freinds but used to date. he is marreid now he knows i still like him but i know he is married and we are keeping it on a friend level. he has metnioned several activites she is doing that sounds like abuse to me adn that hes scared to leave her becuase he is scared he wont be able to aford child support payments. im in a legal class right now tonight we learned how to calcuate child support i sent him a link to the online child support calculateor and told him its ' in case he is curios ' cuase i know thats one of his worries , and then like a hour later i was talking to an abused frined of mine and looked up an abuse help site for her and several of the signs of abuse sounded like my guy-frineds wife. i wrote him out of concern and said that i foudn this site and several of the abuse signs fit his wife and that i was trying to be helpful as a freind and im sorry if i am wrong and overstepped my boudnary but i care about him... a friend of mine just pointed out that this might
2007-06-26 18:49:17 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
look like im trying to break them up. does it look that way sending him those 2 emails tonight ( child support one and abuse one ) ... i was just bein concernd but ...?
2007-06-26 18:49:45 · update #1
you dated, sry but that takes you out of the friend catagory. your judging his wife, and admit you care more then you should. get away from the girls husband, go find yourself a man that isnt taken.
2007-06-26 19:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Robin i 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Considering that you do still like him, at this point let things lie. I understand your concern, but you are on the outside of this relationship. He needs to take care of this himself. If you two have a mutual friend, I would suggest that he talk to that person when he expresses concerns over his marriage or desire to get out. Just tell him that you know that he knows you still have some feelings for him, and you do not want to color your opinion with those feelings but you feel he should discuss this with someone.
2007-06-27 01:56:36 · answer #2 · answered by kalea_kane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possibly, but it depends on how you usually act. Just tell him why you found those sites, and that you just want his kids to be safe and all that. He's your friend... and a friend would definitely do the things you did.
Oh and just don't sound obsessed about him getting away from the wife. Keep it on caring about what's best for him and the kids and the legal crap. And comfort him, it sounds like he's going through a really tough time.
Good luck =]
2007-06-27 01:55:29 · answer #3 · answered by jo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I believe you have the best intentions but we'd all be fools to not see that your feelings for him are motivating your current actions as well. I do think you're doing all of this out of friendship though. If he didn't want you meddling in his r'ship, he would not have confided those things to you. Obviously,he's reaching out to you because he trusts you. If she is abusing him, then he really needs you as a friend and may need you to help him if she really is psycho or something. Good for you for stepping in to help. And why are you worried that SHE will think you're trying to break them up? She sounds like a loser, abuser anyway.
2007-06-27 01:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe. At this point, you need to let the subject drop. Anything more and even I will think you're trying to break them up. It's fine to be concerned for your friend, but your emotions are keeping you from remembering that there are two sides to every story, and that he is a grown man. Trust his judgement enough to realize that he can determine what's best for himself and his kids - you don't need to do it for him.
2007-06-27 02:01:01 · answer #5 · answered by Magaroni 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU ARE WRONG. REGARDLESS OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP; YOU SHOULD LET HIM FIND OUT THINGS ON HIS OWN AND YOU BE HELD BLAMELESS.
THIS WOMAN COULD SUSPECT THAT YOU HAVE RETURNED TO A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM...COPY EMAILS~~there are such things as computer cookies, ya know~~and SUE YOU IN COURT FOR INTERFERING IN HER MARRIAGE.
DON'T BE FOOLISH. IT IS NOT WISE TO CONTINUE A CLOSE/DAILY RELATIONSHIP WITH AN EX THAT IS MARRIED ANYWAY.
IT LOOKS TRANSPARENT THAT YOU STILL HAVE MORE THAN JUST A 'FRIEND ONLY' FEELING FOR THIS GUY.
SO, YOU NEED TO BACK THE H*LL UP GIRL. GOOD LUCK
2007-06-27 03:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, because of your past it could look that way. Maybe back off a bit so he can make his own decisions or ask one of his other friends (preferably a guy friend) to be the one to talk about it
2007-06-27 01:53:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guy's always exaggerate and say crummy stuff about their wives when they are trying to cheat with an ex. Be aware he probably won't ever leave her even if he says he will.
2007-06-27 01:59:23 · answer #8 · answered by justpatagn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can guarantee you that if you ask all the nosy people in the world who stick their nose in other people's business, they will all say they do it out of care and concern.
2007-06-27 02:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you help too much to him is very clear because your feelings.But their problem has to be solved by them only.You can counsel your friend,no more than that.
2007-06-27 02:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋