my ex hates me for not getting an abortion?

Question

neither i nor my ex had planned on having children, but here we are nevertheless. he blames me for the pregnancy just as i blame him. however, he believes that i should tolerate his abuse because he does not want to be a father or pay child support. he is so monstrous and deceptive now that i can not be around him. i understand that he is angry, but i do not deserve this. i did not get pregnant intentionally -- this was not due to one of those psycho i-want-to-hold-onto-my-boyfriend tactics -- nor do i believe that he impregnated me intentionally. it was sheer naivete on our parts. he left me after my father passed. he deceived me into believing that he wanted a family, then unexpectedly moved after my father died and is not remorseful. i am devastated! do men sincerely feel that they are entitled to treat women horridly after they have inadvertently impregnated them? women can play dirty, too, but someone needs the level head. for now, i am level.

Answer 1

I am so sorry that he is treating you this badly. I would stay away from him as much as possible. You can do this without him. Document his behavior because you will need this if he decides to file for custody later. (Even if he does not want a child, he will not want to pay more.)

Contact the crisis pregnancy center near you for support. They love babies and will do what they can for you.

God bless you and your baby!

Answer 2

I'm sorry you are having such a bad experience, especially during pregnancy. No one deserves to be treated badly in any circumstance. You ask a lot of good questions. I bet in your heart of hearts, you know what needs to happen, but it is sometimes difficult to face reality. First of all, you say he believes you should tolerate his ABUSE? Since when should anyone tolerate abuse?? It takes two, neither of you did this alone. Blame, or a better word, responsibility, goes both ways in this case. No one has the right to abuse another person. PERIOD!! If he doesn't want children and child support, then use the only 100% certain birth control - abstinance!!! Works every time. Secondly, where did you find this person. He finds you are pregnant and then he leaves you after your dad dies? Did you get anything good out of this relationship? Was he a friend, a warm place that made you feel cozy and comfortable? Or was he someone you shared space with and slept with? Not much of a relationship there. Do you feel used? I know you feel abused. My advice is to remove yourself and your precious baby far from this guy. What kind of future do you see yourself in with him? It doesn't sound like a place I would want to spend the rest of my life. There is someone special out there for you. Seek counselling if you need to, and start your life over for you and this little one God has seen fit to entrust to your care. Your baby needs you. And he or she needs all the love and care you can give. Wipe this boyfriend from your feet and move on...You are much better than to settle for just any man. And your baby deserves better.

Answer 3

Hopefully you have your parents support. If not there are many places that support women that you can get help.

In this day and age we have the opportunity to prevent pregnancy--but it still happens. Don't tear yourself apart trying to figure out who is responsible-you both are. But as the woman, you have the right to decide what is best for you and you child. Just remember that playing dirty is a matter of conscience. Is that the way you want to be?

You will be respected by looking at your options, deciding what is best for you and your child and remembering that you are a person that deserves the best life you can get. Don't play dirty, Carma always catches up to all of us.

There are some wonderful people out there that will help you-but I do hop you ask your parents first. You may be surprised. As a parent, we love you no matter what!

Answer 4

First off, it is both of your faults. There is too much birth control for this to have happened. Okay, now that is out of the way.

But now there is a 3rd person in the mix, you have to get along with the father for the sake of the child. Be civil with him but take him to child support court if he doesn't pay. If he is not violent or otherwise destructive, let the children see their father, so they can make up their own minds about how much of an idiot he really is.

Keep the relationship with him clean on your end for the sake of the baby.

Answer 5

Whoa, your ex was a jerk. I think that the reason why he wanted an abortion and abandoned you after your dad passed away was because he knew that he wasn't ready for a kid and he didn't truly love you and he didn't want to devote his life to a child, even if it was his. Well, I'm sorry about your dad and for everything that has happened to you. I'm not a guy, so I can't really answer that one question that you made but I do think that some men think that they can use a woman just because they themselves are immature and a bit selfish and they think that they can fool a woman with their charm and sneaky ways. Anyway, I hope that everything for you goes well and that one day you meet a humble and truly sincere and understanding man.

Answer 6

I dont know, but you all are going to have to get it together one way or another. You are about to bring a child in this world together, like it or not. I'm glad you didn't get an abortion, thats a horrible thing to do. But you've got to start acting like an adult now, for the sake of your baby. If he wants absolutely nothing to do with either of you then he can always sign over his parrental rights when the baby is born, and be done with it all. That may be what is best since he wants no part in this. I know its stressful and a very difficult time..... but you've got to make yourself grow up, fast, and stop playing these fighting, silly games with your ex.

Answer 7

Okay, he's a jerk. He was there when you became pregnant. Just because it's going inside of you doesn't mean that only you should be responsible for protection. "Don't be a fool, wrap your tool" is for the guys. Since he's washed his hands of you, the baby is your responsiblity and you've made the responsible decision to keep the baby. It's your body. He needs to grow up and be concerned with someone other than himself. If he can do the deed, he can pay the fee.

Answer 8

He's an idiot!!! at this point there can't be my fault, his fault. You have to get away from him before you end up like that girl on TV.( the one that was 9 months pregnant and dead!) once an abuser, always an abuser.. concentrate on your pregnancy. if he doesn't want to pay child support , have him sign a waiver of parental rights ,and raise it on your own. some-one out there will raise the child as their own. myself I couldn't have kids of my own, and believe me, some one out there would be willing to do it. but one thing, if you don't get him to waive his parental rights, he will use the child to get to you...and it would be very unfair to the man who will spend all the sleepless nights caring for the child, for the (Father) to come into the picture and ruin it all..it happened to me...Raise a child who thinks I'm the father, and 7 years later for the Biological Father to step in and ruin it all....

Answer 9

For starters it took 2 to get pregnant. Never tolerate abuse. He is a jerk. He will have to pay support. You have 2 choices.
1. put the baby up for adoption or 2. Get the heck away from this jerk have the baby. I bet this man had issues way before this event. I hope you have family and or loyal friends that will support you. Remember he is the problem not you

Answer 10

Sad to say there are just men out there who are so evil as your bf or even worse than him. My advice to you right now is that you move on. Your bf doesn't even deserve you. After what he has shown and done to you, it's about time you wake up and get on with your life, with your baby-- alone. Pray. When all things get down, Someone above cares and will defintely answer and help us if we come to Him humbly. You need God above all in this trying situation. God bless you, my dear.