How do I move on from this, or should I?

Question

My husband has had an emotional relationship with someone. He say's that it never got physical, but they talked and e-mail each other alot and talked about a future together. I have been sick and drugged, but I am better now. I confronted them and they have agreed to stop. He is there for me and my children, but I am very insecure. I'm trying to just move on, but not sure he is telling me everything. I feel I need to know to protect myself or just to be able to make an informed decision. Do I really need to know particulars? I feel if he doesn't tell me, he is still fantasizing about the relationship.

Answer 1

What else do you need to know? They had a relationship, physical or not, it's still cheating! Even if there was more, he will never tell you so. Trust me, he has probably already found ways to justify what he did, so that he doesn't feel guilty. It doesn't matter if they agreed to stop or not, they are both adults, and they both knew what they were doing was wrong. Just because you found out, doesn't mean that anything is going to change between the two of them. You need to put your foot down, and let them know that you aren't going to just wait around for something more to happen. Either you need to accept that your husband is a cheater, and live with that insecurity for the rest of your marriage. Or you need to realize that you deserve better, and move on.

Answer 2

If there is anything else you want to get out into the open, now is the time to do it because once it's said and done, you'll have no choice but to let it go, one way or another. But if you ask the questions, you have to be prepared for the answers. Only you know if this is something you can get past, or if this is the end of your relationship with him.

Answer 3

COMMUNICATION TRUST & HONESTY Are the 3 keys to a long healthy relationship* Without those you have nothing...
Sounds like you and your husband have communicated openly and honestly (as you confronted him and he's admitted he was/is emotionally attached to this woman..but will stop emailing etc...the Trust is the hard part..if you can get through that you'll continue on in your relationship. YOU have to allow yourself to Trust him again...
In life..there's no guarantees...ppl get Hurt all the time, ppl make mistakes and hopefully Learn from them.and change for the better* They realize how they could lose something that means the world to them. You said you were sick and drugged..but you're better now. I'm glad to hear you're better now* Think back to all those months/time you weren't well..I'm sure your husband was there for you to help you through this..he was suffering also, watching you so ill..feeling helpless...It's not a reason for him to start up anything with anyone, but thank goodness he' never took it to the next step..he just wanted someone he could open up to i guess and talk to (which was probably all about YOU and how worried he was /is etc...) she was needing some emotional out also...and for whatever reason it was meant to be that they spent time talking to each other but never made another move to go further. YOu have to find it in you to move on with him now* you're BETTER* this is what you've bothe wanted for so long to just be BETTER agin to do things together again! It will take some time to rebuild your relationship but if you BOTH want it bad enough ...you can find that special intimacy/romance/passion you once shared. Perhaps a mini vacation away for a weekend to rekindle that spark* Find what interests you both NOW* (if a long period of time has passed you'll have to re connect and find out about each other all over again, as ppl do change...when tragedy/upset/illness/ etc hits them.-they reach out for someone to listen. Remember he stood by YOU and LOVES you Dearly*...he got side tracked for whatever reason, but nothing physical happend..and his emotional attachment to her as a "buddy/friend/ someone he could vent to...she \ll have to JUST GET OVER IT...and move on with her life in a different direction) as im sure she knows ur' married...sh'ell back off and u and ur husband can get back on track* Get away somewhere* Enjoy some personal time together..spice things up again* :)
BESTWISHES and im glad you're on the mend:)

Answer 4

What you don't know won't hurt! But if you want a peace of mind then find ways to find the truth because you will never get it from him. If they are talking about a future together then, girl you are in trouble. What kept him there with you and your children is his conscience but sooner or later you must face facts that you have to move on yourself.

Answer 5

If your husband is just talking to this person as a friend and you trust your husband - than don't fret. Trust is a big thing in relationships. Leave it alone unless your gut instinct tells you otherwise.

Answer 6

You still have issues with this relationship -- or you wouldn't be questioning it.

This is what counseling is for. If you are insecure, you and your husband will both suffer -- regardless of whether or not there is cause.

Answer 7

Speak with your husband about how he feels about your marriage. If he wants to work on it, how about suggesting marriage counseling for both of you, to re-build your relationship. You need to feel secure in your relationship again. Ask yourself if you even want this marriage. The best to you....

Answer 8

Dont ever ask questions you truly dont want the answers to and you aren't prepared to deal with. If you are gonna stay together then you have to be able to let it go

Answer 9

Hi! If he had an affair, and you cannot live in peace, the bible says that it is a just cause for a divorce....however you should pray and ask God to direct your life, God also belives in reconcilition too, prayer opens the door for God to work in our lives.....Jesus loves you

Answer 10

i think that your should trust him on what he says but if he has let you down on trust before than maybe he isnt telling the whole truth.