how should i deal with a guy who is being mean so i don't have the baby?

Question

Single mom. I am pregnant by a guy that i use to mess with and i've decided to keep it bc i am against abortions. I told him and we had a talk and he basically wants me not to have it. He told me if i don't have the baby he'll be with me and i told him that i don't want him. He told a mutual friend to tell me that he would rather have a baby with my friend and that hurt a lot. He's being so mean. I've deaded him, basically told him that i want nothing to do with him, don't want him here for the baby, NOTHING. He's hurt me so much when i've been nothing but mature, patient and civil with him. Just want opinions as far how i should deal with this and the single mother issue.

I just want to let some know that I am 22 years old, finished college, am working my career job, am financially stable and have my own place.

Answer 1

Why, in the first place, did you go and get pregnant with a guy who obviously doesn't want children? Did you consult him BEFORE getting pregnant? Or did you pretend you were on a pill/pierce his condoms/been just plain careless?
Why do you want to force fatherhood on a guy who is so obviously not ready for it yet? You state yourself he just wanted a casual fling. What is the matter with you? So desperate to keep him that you thought a baby would bind him to you?

I know a case like that in real life. She was a painfully dependent insecure girl and thought that cheating the guy into having a baby with her would make him stay with her, even though he didn't want a serious relationship.

Well what can I say, you got yourself in trouble, you get yourself out of them. Leave the poor guy alone. You didn't consider his wishes before, at least do it now. It's obvious he doesn't want anything with you or the kid.

Answer 2

This guy sounds like a TOTAL JERK! He's verbally abusive now, and once this baby is born he could be physically abusive. If I were you I'd do the best I could to get him out of my life. You deserve much more than him. If he can't treat you nice in return than don's waste time on him. I know this sounds harsh, but it may be the truth.

Or the other hand maybe he'll soften up when he meets this baby. Do you have relatives or friends with small children? Set up a tea time or invite them over, see how this guy treats the kids.

Answer 3

First of all, sorry that you BF is acting so horribly. However, I must say this - what a wonderful thing to hear, that you are not going to have an abortion- it not only takes the life of a baby, which you already know, it can cause physical and emotional risks to you, that can last a long time. Even though he will not be here for the baby= you need to get child support for your baby- HE may not want a baby, but he help to create it. Hang in there, you are doing the right thing> do you have family to support you? You can get help from pregnancy help centers in your area- with insurance, baby clothes, diapers, etc. God bless and congratuations!!

Answer 4

well you should have thought about the consequences before having sex, but I applaud you for standing up for your beliefs and not aborting the baby. Being a single mom is tough, so create a support system around you of friends and family that will help you once the baby comes. Forget the guy he sounds like a big jerk. You don't need a guy like that in your child's life or yours. Just concentrate on your education and trying to make a better life for you and your child. Good luck.

Answer 5

Firstly congrats on baby and on the decision to keep your child. It must have been a hard decision to make.
As far as the father of the baby goes I would ignore it now. You are obviously and understandably hurt by him, however he is still the biological father of your child and your child may someday like contact. You don't want to do or say something out of hurt that may jeapordise his relationship with the baby in the future. When the baby is born send a picture to the father along with the name you choose.
When it comes to being a single mum, it'll be tough but also the most wonderful time in your life. Try to around family and friends that are supportive and may be of help if you need them in the future. Like any mother just take it one day at a time and enjoy being a mum.
Good luck!

Answer 6

think twice before you bring this child into the world - you already "deaded" his/her father -- why force yourself into being a single mother instead of it happening more or less on accident. . . This is a life you are taking on - be ready; it's not a trial run and not to be taken so lightly that he brings your friend's into it and you say you don't want him. . .you wanted him when you got pregnant -- sex isn't all that great all the time - it can create BIG problems for people. . .think about where you will be 10 years from now, with and without a baby without a father. . .
then decide. . . . . . think of it in the baby's shoes. . . .
Oh wait - you sound like you are in baby shoes. . . . .

Answer 7

Have you considered adoption?

If you're determined to not have anything to do with the father, and your main concern for childbirth is to make sure you don't have an abortion, adoption of the baby might be an option you would consider.

In any case, you may want to get health information such as hereditary diseases, etc. from the birth father, and let him out of your life.

Answer 8

Whoah! This guy is scared. You, on the other hand, are doing exactly what he wants. Since you won't murder your child, he doesn't want to be responsible for the child which means he doesn't want to pay support. If you don't hear anything else, hear this... Make him pay support! I know you don't want him to have anything to do with your child, but then he wins. I will warn you that the hurt will get worse. I'd be willing to bet money he will claim the child isn't his and force you to get a paternity test. He knows it's his, but this is his only chance of getting out scott free and he's going to try it. Fight him to the end. If he says he didn't want a baby with you then why did he not use protection? Why didn't you?

Answer 9

Best way is to stay away. I hope you have parental or family support, that should make it easier for you. You will never regret having the baby, pray and put yourself in Gods hands and in the end you will be surprised how beautiful things turned out.

Answer 10

Wow you made a very smart choice! This guy is an idiot and its good that you dont want to be with him. Dont talk to him, block his number do whatever you can so you dont have to hear what he says about you because stress is not good for the baby and you really have to be careful in the first trimester because you have to most chance of having a miscarriage. Just try and relax and forget about him. Good luck with everything!