Late at night I hear a soft voice. I close my eyes and listen to the lyrics...
Sing me a lullaby, sing me to sleep. Make me want to dream, I don't wanna be like them. I wanna be special. So just sing me a lullaby, I really wanna dream. I just wanna be me.
She sings to only the lonely darkness, but I feel that she thinks of it as more. Her words encircle me, call to me. I wonder if she's singing to someone or just the air. Every night her child-like voice seems to set me toward dreamland.
Sometimes I feel as though she is singing to someone lost among thousands. The sadness she puts in these songs tell a story of her hopes and wishes. Sometimes even her tears.
Her songs seem to guide someone to her, someone she has yet to meet. Her songs seem to make me feel hopeful again. Almost...alive again.
She sings a tune so lonely, yet so lovely, that it makes me shed a tear. Such beautiful lyrics and such a beautiful voice. I guess we all need something to make us feel wonderful and I guess this is just one of those things.
As long as her beautiful voice continues to sing such unexplainable lyric, I will continue to forever be bewildered by why. Funny thing, I do not want to find the girl who sings for I fear she might stop.
That is something that I would dread most horribly. I feel now that I need her to sing, I feel addicted to her voice. I would die without it. Yes, I would just die without it. By now I'm sure you fancy me mad. Crazy, if you will. But I'm not mad or crazy. Just in a trance by that beautiful voice..
The softness of her voice leads me. I don't know where I am. There are greens, reds, yellows, purple, and blues surronding me. Terror strikes me, then solitude. I could listen to her voice forever.
Listen to my crying heart, listen to the tears, in my mind I hear. Drip, Drop, Drip, Drop, Drip...
I smile and lie among the shadows of this spinning room. Forever I could listen. She is an unwanted sould, a soul filled with crushed hopes and dreams. I never want to leave. Maybe my obsession with her has grown or maybe I was just this was crazy from the begininng. I don't have a clue how crazy I really am. Maybe I just don't care. Yes, I just don't care. I have her now. All to myself. Mine. Mine. Mine. Wait. Where am I? No more colors...just white and black. Things are changing with her song. This time I suppose I'll just explore the place. Yes, I'll just exlore as I listen to the soft, beautiful voice...
2007-06-26 15:06:47 · 11 answers · asked by Bleeding Autumn 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
I'm only 13 so don't be too harsh...
2007-06-26 15:07:29 · update #1
think* lol
2007-06-26 15:10:36 · update #2
no its not an actual song and its name is Chapter. Idk why I named it that, but I like it.
2007-06-26 15:14:47 · update #3
Well, this is only the prolong
2007-06-26 15:18:12 · update #4
It's very, very, very, very hard to become an author. I've wanted to be an author since I was 15 and I'm 35. I've received dozens and dozen and dozens of rejection letters from small time magazines to big name companies like Bataam Del Rey and Harper and so on. I forget. I threw most of them out. It is like wanting to be a rock star or a movie star. For every one million that want the job only 100 get it out of those one million. Like wanting to be a big time artist. Have a back up plan such as being the editor of a magazine or a journalist instead if you do not make it into the big time as an author. Seems pretty good though. A lot better than the crap I write. Why not go for it?
2007-06-26 15:14:57 · answer #1 · answered by Professor Armitage 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats really good! Very nice indeed. Whats it called?
I would read the rest. Also, is that an actual song? Because you can get in trouble if you put real songs lyrics in a book unless you go through a painful process of asking the copyright people to use it.
Good luck with it!
2007-06-26 15:12:00 · answer #2 · answered by KaBoOm said thy monkay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good imagery shown here. Two words, however, jump out at me--besides the several that are spelled incorrectly. They are 'wanna' and 'beautiful.'
'Wanna' should read 'want to' unless it is in dialogue. The word 'beautiful' is too nondescript. Rather than use an overly used adjective as this, describe how something is beautiful. Further, avoid repeating key words and phrases whenever possible--such as 'beautiful.'
2007-06-26 15:18:16 · answer #3 · answered by Guitarpicker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm an novice author myself, and I discovered the difficult manner. Do Not Go Too Fast! Your tale goes too rapid. Make a few longer scenes, and be extra practical approximately the essential man or woman's emotions. Remember not to placed many dramatic scenes in a row, despite the fact that you haven't any situation with that. Other than that, the whole thing is best.
2016-09-05 09:14:36 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good job!! I admire you for both your beautiful writing and your courage to submit to review from the public. Keep up the work, because I would read another one of your stories.
2007-06-26 15:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by john b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to give the readers more information; I don't understand who this person is. And it's boring. I just skimmed over it because it's not interesting enough. Make your readers WANT to read it.
2007-06-26 15:15:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your very wise for a 13 year old, just keep writing from your heart, pretty visualistic.Good.
2007-06-26 15:17:54 · answer #7 · answered by Charles E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The beginning is just magical. I love it. But I think you should revive the last paragraph. You lost your wonderful style there.
2007-06-26 15:27:11 · answer #8 · answered by BookWorm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a.d.d. so i couldnt really read the whole thing but the beginning sounded interesting
2007-06-26 15:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by I am watching your every move. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like it. Very poetic.
2007-06-26 15:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by Bibliomaniac 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋