Sometimes I feel like ending my life...?

Question

I think I always feel like this a couple of times a year ever since I can remember. I feel like nobody loves me and that the world woudl be a better place without me. I keep thinking about words that people have said to me:

"Ugly face, ugly heart. At least have something good." - Mom
"She's not my child. She's too dark skin to be my child." - my dad when I was born
"My parents doesn't want to pay for our wedding. She doesn't think you're worth it." - my ex
"You're like a village bycycle. Everyone wants to ride you, but nobody wants to take you home." - my ex
"Your ugly sister here (me) should be the bad one." - my uncle lecturing my sisters after running away, instead mocking me for just being born the way I am
"You're ugly." - my 6 year old niece
"You have an ugly face." my husband, a few months after we got married

At first I thought it was the way I looked, but even when I go online I can't make friends. Even if I disappeared, nobody would notice anyway.

Answer 1

I guess it all comes down to just moving on in life and realizing that the world is cold, harsh place, even when the people that should be close to you are the most farthest people. I think you need to motivated and set some goals for yourself and more importantly, dream. Is there something that you have ever wanted to do more than anything else (and please don't say ending your life)? Why not help the less fortunate? If so, go for it. Perhaps, you could do something that would make them appreciate you more. Just do not get so caught up in impressing them that you lose the essence of who you are. Remember, despite all the negative remarks you have received, you are IMPORTANT and you matter, believe it or not. And believe me that world would not be a better without you..after all, what have u done wrong that had some an impact? As far as looks go, they should be least of your concerns. It's the content of your character and the person you are that matter in the end. Put it this way, if they want criticize your looks and that is all they ever want to do, they are extremely shallow and the loss is theirs, for not giving a special person, like you, a chance of acceptance.

Answer 2

Ugly is only on the inside. Those that called you ugly are the ones that are really "ugly"; by a correct definition. You are not ugly. You need to do and believe in yourself, weather others want to or not. Become a positive person. And say to your self, I am beautiful and it shines though all of me. And let this shine from you. It is kind words, thoughts for others, helping others, caring for others that beauty is; LOVE for ALL.
A famous saying is "You can't tell a book by its cover." Anyone that tries to do so is very ignorant. Think of others that are treated even worse that you could be. Some handicapped people may never drive a car or stuck in a wheelchair; but may go out and find a way to live. I have seen a man in a wheelchair play volleyball with others that were in their feet. Be positive. Follow truth, not nasty people.
Put your first love as God. For he made you, as you are, for a good reason. You may not know what it is. But He dose. And you are special to God. He will always love you.
Don't be like the others that are mean and love everyone.

Answer 3

How you feel inside shows on the outside. When your repeadily told over and over that your nothing , it wears on a person. I know, I been there too.
All my life I been told how ugly I was, and that I wasn't good enough , or wouldn't amount to anything in life. What I didn't realize was how much that really affected me. And it wasn't until I was almost 30yrs old one day out of no where it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything played back to me in my mind like a film reel. I just sat and cried.
I know how low and absolutly worthless a person can feel. My Dad always thought I wasn't his, but gave me his name.. and really has been the very best to me. My mother, she has done things a mother doesn't do to a daughter. I was molested by an Uncle regular growing up, and another Uncle always told me I was nothing but a dirty little street kid and would never amount to anything. I mean the list goes on, but I'll end it there.
It is something you have to work through. First, you have to realize, and truly know, that YOU are somebody. And that it doesn't make a difference what ANYONE else thinks. In reality, all those people who has told you things that's destroyed a little of you each time, they don't count. It really takes a little person to tear down another.
YOU COUNT, and YOUR SOMEBODY!! You was created for a purpose, and not to be torn down. It won't happen over night, but you'll overcome all this and become someone everyone will love. And if they don't .... hey ! they'll get over it.

You hang in there and know your not alone. If you ever want to talk, write me. You'll be in my prayers and thoughts.

Answer 4

I felt sad when I read that you feel like ending your life sometimes, but it was my sadness because I have felt this way too, many times during my life. I'm glad after time these feelings pass and I go on. Some people say hurtful things and put others down to lift themselves up. Find people in your life that will build you up, someone you admire and look up to and would like to become more like them. We all come into the world good and all we know is love. Behavior is learned and bad thoughts and behavior can be replace and changed over time. I love you just because your you and I can't see you so that doesn't matter. I love you because your like me, another human being with potential to become all you can be. So It comes down to making a choice. Believe what others that intend to hurt you say or using that energy to make choices to make your life better and happier.

Answer 5

Everybody has a purpose on earth. God would not have put you here if he did not want you here for somethin. If your husband told you that you are ugly, he does not deserve you. All of these people who talk bad about you have low self esteem, and they pick on you because you make yourself an easy target. Start to stand up for yourself, and if they still treat you this way, rethink who you put yourself around, family or not. Noone deserves to be treated this way, especially not you! Remember that you are a good person, and associate with other people who feel the same.

Answer 6

You are in a state of profound depression. You can't allow yourself to go any further down. I would like you to know that i used to be like you, depressed and very concerned about what people say about me. Whenever my siblings wanted to tease me they always reminded me how ugly i was. Unfortunately i believed them until i started to establish a personal relationship with Jesus. You ought to try to pray every morning and you will start to feel the change. You will start to love yourself and others. Jesus came so you can live an abundant life. I am happy with who i am although i have no job, no husband, no children, no nothing. I have peace in my heart and i am full of hope knowing that God's plan will be fulfilled in my life. Don't even think about killing yourself. Remember that everything is not over with death i.e you will continue to live either in heaven with Jesus or in hell with Satan depending on your choices while you are here on earth. I am not kidding you and don't think that i am crazy either. Appreciate the gift of life and good health.U R LOVED

Answer 7

no one, no words, are worth your life. there are always going to be people that say things that will be offensive. stay away from those people. that is not true that no one will notie if you disappeared. people will notice. and people will cry and be so sad. LOVE YOURSELF. it doesnt matter what other people thikn of you. feel good about yourself. if people cant acept you for who you are then avoid them, dont care about them or wha they have to say. your husband wouldnt have married you if he didnt love you. in fact, he doesnt deserve you. its not what the outside looks like that counts anyways. just be the best person that you can be and live your life. dont end it. i really hope this answer influenced you because even though i dont know you i feel that it is so wrong to end your life because of what other people say to you. ignore them . keep in mind that you have been put on this earth for a reason, whether it be to bring the best out of other people, to make people feel better, to make people laugh. God has given you life. that is the most amazing gift of all, and it is more powerful than words that people can say, though it might not seem it.

Answer 8

beauty is in the eyes of the beholders. people treat u the way they do because u carry the feelings and way of interactions u do in everyday life over to the internet. a little conscious effort , little exercise and taking care of urself will do u wonders, u can apply makeup, not too much which is the mistake many girls do, in the right quantity and in the right places.few of us are physically perfect, but attractive people know how to hide their flaws and make us concentrate on their bright sides only.a nice smooth tone of voice which is not too flirty should help u too. in psychology they teach u that if u act depressed or sullen, other people will get the messgae u want to be left alone. don't try too hard and be cheerful. ;)

Answer 9

You can't just keep a record of everything bad thing that has ever been said to you. I don't know how old you are but life is just like that and you have to have life skills to survive. One skill is to say your going to have positive people around you that are going to push you
up not down. Stay focused on being you and people that don't respect you wellll all I can say when it's family they think they are in a comfortable zone and can say what they want but you have to come back for more. Not true.

Answer 10

I'll be your friend. Anyone can make themselves look better, and there's always someone who's willing to look beyond initial appearances to see the lovely personality inside. Loving yourself, becoming something, following your passions and finding self-love and happiness in reaching your goals is what life's all about. Even if you were so deformed that no one could ever want to be your husband, you can still live a happy, fullfilled life.