Why do people think its wrong that my boyfriend is older than me?

Question

I am 19, my boyfriend is 43. My parents cant deal with it. Why do people think that our love is wrong?

Of course we have sex.

Yes, my parents are his age.

I admit that I do have a fetish for older guys.

Answer 1

They are looking our for your best interests.
It may very well be that your boyfriend has your best interests at heart. On the other hand...
Many older men prey on young ladies fresh out of high school. Young ladies like yourself are without wisdom that comes with many years of adult life and older men can take advantage of that.
My ex husband is like that. He can charm the socks off a white-footed kitty and make a person feel special. He has all kinds of sob stories so the sweet young ladies swarm to make him all better.
Once a lady has invested a relationship with him, his real side comes out. Her bank accounts are drained, she is estranged from her friends, and she fully believes that she is worthless and no one will take her but him.

I do hope that your boyfriend is indeed a real gentleman, but do listen to your head and not your heart. Watch for:
1. him to push for commitment
2. sob stories and him saying that you're the only one that has ever listened to him. I'll bet a million dollars you're not.
3. him pushing for joint bank accounts or other ways he can get a hold of your money
4. talking down on your friends and family
5. talking down on your parents, especially since they're not so keen on him. a real gentleman would be respectful to them regardless
6. push you to do things you are not comfortable doing (sex or otherwise)
7. talks down on his exes and will not let them talk to you alone
8. treats you his own age when you are doing things he likes and treats you like a child when not
9. is secretive
10. is jealous of other people in your life

If anything on this list is remotely familiar, please take a step back and take a good look at your relationship with this man and ask yourself if what you are getting yourself into is healthy.
I'm not saying that a relationship between an 43 year old man and a 19 year old girl can't work, but I have seen enough young ladies in this situation get screwed over enough to know that your parents are justified with their worries.

Answer 2

If you happy you shouldnt worry to much, some people cant get around the fact of age and in your instance its your parents, and thats what parents do, they worry to much its only cause they love you and dont want to see you get hurt!
And that may be because at 43 you may be looking for different things in life than a 19 year old!

Answer 3

Must of been love at first candy, the way he lured you into that car would of been really romantic, until the cops started chasing him :)

Jokes aside if you think you are able to make decicions on your own about this, being fully aware of any conciquences that your actions may create (by this i mean Fully aware, worst case senarios etc) and your not just letting your feelings lead you down the wrong track then yeah.

Convincing other people wont be easy, thats just another thing you will have to deal with being in this situtation.

Answer 4

I think your parents are just looking out for your best interest. At your age, they might not approve of many boys that come around you. I think it's important for you to date lots of different guys out there to see who you like best. Your boyfriend is 43, and I'm sure he's a great guy, but he's just probably at a different point in his life than you are. Legally you two are fine, but are you guys compatible on an emotional level? Will he want to stay home and sleep in front of the TV when you're 21 and ready to go party with friends?

Try to remember that they really only want the best for you.

Answer 5

The reason why people think it is wrong is becuase your going out with a guy that is twice your age and to tell you the truth if you were a year and one day younger he would be skipping his but to jail. plain and simple people can't see what you can have in common becuase you come from two different eras and he probably is around your parents... just imagine your having sex with your father (assuming that your having sex)

Answer 6

Well, that is pretty amazing that you two get along!!! His tastes in music must bore you (Hey I'm 40 so I know the kind of music he might like).

Most people would be worried that the 43 year old is just taking advantage of your youth and inexperience, because by the time you're 43, you've seen an awful lot of human experience!

Hey, only YOU TWO can truly know each other. And if you and him TRULY LOVE EACH OTHER, then forget what everybody else says. Marry each other and hold onto each other forever!

Answer 7

Because that's a HUUUUGE gap in ages. Like 24 years gap. You were born when he was 24. When you were learning the alphabet, he was closin in on 30 yrs old.

They say that age doesn't matter, and to an extent, I believe it....however, you are just over 18...have your entire life ahead of you. Think of it this way--if you were to marry this guy, chances of having kids is slim. Not only that, but....in 30 years, just before you turn 50...he'll be 73.

Good luck no matter what way you choose with him, but make sure you think everything through first....

Answer 8

Well, you are certainly old enough to date who you want. But girls that date older men, especially that old very often have a complex that result from not having a loving relationship with her father. I think you are substituting your fathers love with this guy...however this type of relationship is usually also sexually based. It is easy to get infatuated with an older guy. The years are too many in this case. Nothing in common...and he's been all old and wrinkled before your too old to have children....

Answer 9

Age is not a big issue if your older but I have to side with your parents. I would not be happy at all if my child was with someone that much older. The reason why it's so wrong is because he is old enough to be your father!

Answer 10

honey its not a matter your love is wrong but the fact that u r so young he might use you and play game wit you. JUST BE CAREFUL!!!! he might actually love you. wow dont u feel like he is ur dad or sumthin when u were 16 he was only 40. he might have a wife on the side wit children who nows. it depends how much yall luv each other. remember this quote age is nothin but a #