negativity...how do i stop?

Question

i have been thro so much in the last 3 years...and i cant help but be so negative at times... and my friends notice that too. i went thro so much: like ppl making mean rumors about me like im sleeping around in the next town with guys i dont even know. my mom is finally back in my life after nearly 10 years and i dont know if i should trust her right now. AND TO TOP ALL THAT OFF MY BEST FRIEND DIED JUST A YEAR AGO LAST WEEK...(and she was only 13). i try to be positive but some times i just dont know how...im just afraid but dont know of what...
how do i get a postive attitude on life after all that i have gone through? i use to have help with stuff like this but that was from my best friend that had passed...

how so i become positve before i become avoided?

Answer 1

First of all I want to say to you that even though you have been 'through' a lot the past three years, you have developed some wisdom in these trying times. For one thing - you must realize that you HAVE BEEN THROUGH. That, in itself says a lot. One way toward becoming more positive is to understand that life is going to be full of trials and challenges. We are either 'going through' something, are 'in the middle' of something or 'just got out of' something. The idea that you 'went through' means you didn't stop and stay there. You didn't allow the challenges you faced to get you so down that you could not look up.

I have found that reading my Bible has helped me during the times when I didn't even have anyone to talk to about my situation. I found so much peace when I prayed and meditated on the goodness of God and how He brought me through the thing that could have destroyed me if I had allowed it. People will always be around to talk about you - there is nothing you can do about that - but if you continue to hold your head up and keep a smile on your face, regard those people as folks who really don't know you. It is difficult to deal with a friend's death. I have had my share of those too - but because I am so strong in my faith, I know their leaving this earth is ok. I know where they are and their memories and spirit of love remain in my heart. You just have to look at each situation and find the good in it.

I can understand your concern about your mother. But first, be glad she is back. Look at the positive and the good in all things first and be thankful for that. You don't have anything to prove - she does. You only have to accept that she is back. If you have to give yourself some time to build up trust - let her know that. Both of you can work your way back to each other slowly and with deep conversations. Trust in anyone is built day by day. And even when that trust has been leaned on until the breaking point, you still have to have some love and commitment to it because nobody is perfect.

Keep in mind that you are a child of God, you are loved and He has your best interest at heart. He will put in front of you people who will love you, guide you and protect you as you become stronger and more positive. Find yourself places where positive people are. Read books that are uplifting and resourceful. Do positive things that make you feel good (do something for other people). Hug babies, kiss old people on the cheek, shake hands with a stranger. Know that you are part of a big world and your presence is valuable and necessary! Teach yourself a dance, learn a song and sing it whether you can sing or not. Paint a picture and hang it on your wall. Learn some positive quotes and keep a journal. My friend, you are already moving in the positive direction - Smile and see the light in front of you....there are people who are praying for you..... I am one of them. God bless you.

Answer 2

What I'm going to say is highly unorthodox, but what's wrong with being negative? You've gone through some horrible ordeals! There's absolutely nothing wrong with being sad or mourning. I am so sorry for all the things you've gone through: the rumors, the problems with your mother and the tragic loss of your best friend. You've got every right to be sad.

It seems to have become a pattern these days that if a person loses someone and/or goes through a rough time, people tell them they still have to smile and be happy. If they won't, they shove a happy pill down their throat. It's not normal to be positive all the time. We are capable of feeling sad and down for a reason.

True, you shouldn't stay sad all your life and there will come a time when the pain and sadness of these events won't quite hurt so bad. I've gone through my shares of heartaches and tragedy, too, so I know that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. I have found that you have to let positive thoughts come on their own. You can't force happiness. It only comes when it wants to.

Answer 3

I've heard my father quote the following poem several times.

If you can smile when things go wrong
And say it doesn't matter,
If you can laugh off cares and woe
And trouble makes you fatter,
If you can keep a cheerful face
When all around are blue,
Then have your head examined, bud,
There's something wrong with you.
For one thing I've arrived at:
There are no ands and buts,
A guy that's grinning all the time
Must be completely nuts.
["Smile, Darn You, Smile"]

I think everyone gets down on occasion and it sounds like you have good reason.

In dealing with those time, it helps me a great deal to have an understanding of the purpose of earth life and why trials occur.

It also helps to learn to forgive people who do something to offend me. They probably don't realize how much it hurts. Holding grudges only hurts ourselves.

Answer 4

Faith in God no matter what your religion is. Prayer relieves stress and gives a positive attitude...

Answer 5

If you're concious of your negativity then you can fix it. It is those not aware of their own pesemistic behavior that have the real trouble trying to fix it.

Answer 6

yeah i just do it to joke around with some of my chick friends but i really only wanna be flirting with the girl i like right now

Answer 7

grow up and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

you kids' try so hard to be emo.